Hardest Actress To Look At In Movie History

Melina Mecouri. Who starred in Topkapi, the movie with the worst title in history. Oddly enough. Ok, I'm done again.

Worst Movie Title In History

Topkapi. Yeah, that's all. I'm done with this one. Thank you.

Marie Osmond

Marie Osmond now has the face of a 40 year old porn star - the same face they all seem to buy for themselves at the Jew Facemaker's office just before they hit the professional porn wall. All the women of porn, at the day of retirement they all have the same face. The same exact face. They purchase it from a face-farm, I guess. The "just about to hit the wall" face farm. That's pro'bly what it says right on it in the surgeon's office. Right on the box it's in. "Just this side of the wall, Model # 552." And they all go get one. Because they all look exactly alike. Like a plastic, varnished, rubber-covered-plaster manniquin that looks like a pretty good-lookin' male trans-gender dude. Marie Osmond seems to have purchased one of these faces for herself. But what's she, fifty? She could probably go into porn RIGHT NOW and make a whopping comfortable living for herself. All these old Hollywood gals and entertainers on the downside of life, they could make a whopping fast and easy bundle for that final bursting bank account by gettin' it on hard core on film. You think no one would pay to own a Sophia Loren Porn-At-Seventy video? Think again, faggot. That I Dream of Jeanie chick?...the one with the great ass?....If she did a porn video today she would have an additional 25 million dollars tomorrow. If Debbie Reynolds would blow just one guy in a 20 minute suck scene - plus squirtage on the face - she could fucking do it without makeup and never leave Tuscany for the rest of her easy-livin' life. I know what I'm talking about. 70 year old men would finally tell their wives, "Fuck you, I'm buyin' the new Raquel Welch porn video she just made and not only that I'm gonna watch it in the living room and jack off doin' it." It would turn a whole generation of douchebags into men just before they died. Better late than never, you old fucks.

How To End Crimes of Passion

Remove everyones' teeth. 99% of all violent acts are provoked by toothaches. This is a known fact. It's the same in the animal world. Man-eaters and rogues are always the result of dental pain. Take out all violent offenders' teeth and you could fire all the prison psychiatrists. Teeth in humans serve no purpose other than cosmetic. needs. And if toothlessness could somehow be "made fashionable" by a clever designer the way fatness is at the moment "cool" - you could open the prisons and let everyone go home. Legalizing drugs would allow all the OTHER prisoners to leave. Then there would be no criminals. And no prisons. Legalize drugs and remove everyones' teeth. The answer to domestic bliss on the homefront. Then everyone could concentrate on killing Muslims. Which is about to become the only game in town anyway. Might as well give everyone time to become good at it.

Timothy Treadwell

Timothy Treadwell was the asshole-creep-sociopath who "lived" with grizzly bears in Alaska and who murdered a female he dragged along on his final bear bonding-session. It was a murder suicide. The woman did not know she was going to be murdered. The killings were done by a bear. The planning of the killing was done by Timothy Treadwell. Timothy's last name was originally Dexter. He was extremely effeminate. He would film himself having prancing, clenched-fists-at-the-hips impotent rages of silly fury at some invisible, non-present humans he would be raging-aloud at about some crime against the bears the invisible humans had supposedly committed. He was a dedicated, criminal-minded, blackhearted bastard and extremely dangerous. He singlehandedly, to this day, has put the lives of anyone who goes to this vicinity of Alaska in danger of bear attack since he spent a great deal of time and effort training the bears to not fear humans. This was no innocent nature lover. This was a cold calculating hater of humanity. Happily he is dead. Killed by a bear. He said often that he would love O MY GOD THAT WOULD BE JUSSTHT STHO GREAT to be killed by one of "his" grizzly bears. These were "his" bears, you know. He owned them. He was their protector. He was protecting grizzly bears by just being there and making them fearless of humans. He was protecting them by teaching them how to kill their enemy: humans. Unhappily he murdered an innocent victim in the process of him achieving his goal to be killed and eaten by a bear. A woman who had no idea he was planning suicide and murder-by-bear. When the bear shit-out his worthless body the turds should have been collected and set afire in a major motion picture studio, filmed with great care and effort by the best professionals and the film sent to the Sierra Club, Greenpeace, and PETA. Instead Werner Herezog - an extremely strange man - made a documentary of Dexter using Dexter's footage of Dexter mincing and fuming and being all concerned and being beside himself with frustration and being....well JUSTHT BAYAING A BAYAHR!!!! I.....THINK.....he bleached his hair. I'm not sure.

Wiping Your Ass With Lotion-Based Kleenex

If you're thinking about doing this, don't. I just did this. Just a minute or so ago. There was no toilet paper on the roll. I had some Kleenex pop-up tissues with aloe embedded in the fibers nearby. I figured "Well, it won't be an economical wipe but it will sure be a gentle one." It may have been. But it was also an annoying one. I pulled four sheets. That seemed enough for the first go-round based on how they felt in my hand, all bunched together. I hit the starfish and slid the paper and the wad slipped right out of my fingers and my bare flesh made contact with my winking eye. Since the Kleenex also slid off the greasy dung residue that means my bare finger flesh also made physical contact with TURD. I was not pleased by this. In some matters I make Monk look blah-zay. Physical intimacy with shit-excess is one of those matters. The shit-smeared wad of tissue had also slipped out of my fingers during the procedure and took flight into the wall and onto the floor. I now had shit on the wall and the floor. I ripped out another two sheets and took care of the finger problem. I got some more and took care of the wall problem and the floor problem, and while greatly pissed was taking great care not to lose my temper. This is minor I kept saying to myself. It wasn't, but I kept saying it was. Like a good boy. I grabbed another four sheets and tried again. Kleenex with aloe doesnt "pick up" fecal matter. It skates across it. Lengthening it. Enlarging it. And that's what this second-pass accomplished. So that means I now had shit material actually throughout my ass cheeks, like it had been troweled on. There was a hand towel there so I, in a crouch, doused it under the faucet, wrung it out and washed my ass with it and then out of sheer habit and reflex back-handed it into the toilet. Still facing forward and standing almost upright I watched my face in the mirror as it changed expression before my eyes. I could clearly see what I was thinking. "I just threw the fucking towel into the goddamn toilet." The toilet had not been flushed in all this time. It now had all the original slappy-splashy shitlogs; all the kleenex applications, including the ones for the wall and the floor, and a towel. I sat back down onto the toilet to force myself to stay non violent while I stewed and simmered in motionless anger. Some small bit of ass-skin sensor was detecting what was still some residual dampness from the wet towel-washing. I pulled another single sheet of Kleenex from the box and blandly alleviated the matter and let the Kleenex drop listlessly into the bowl. While waiting for my mind to clear and to give myself something meaningful to do while waiting to cool off I flushed the toilet. I am too physically tired to tell you the rest. Just don't wipe your ass with Kleenex with aloe. It might seem like a good idea but it isn't. So much for the only practical-matter info you will ever be getting here. But you have to admit, I picked a good one to warn you about. I bet you thought this blog would always just remain another piece of useless egomania on the web didn't you. Well for once it's now actually done something useful.

Conservatism

Conservatism is a murky, strangely anal "philosophy of vague 'morality.'" It has no precise definition. It only has a list. A list of things it is "in favor of" and a list of things "it is against." It was sort of "started" by William F. Buckley, an extremely odd man with severe acne and a host of body ticks and twitches and weird facial expressions and conversational mannerisms and debate-skill paroxysms that make Tom Cruise at his very weirdest seem totally unaffected. His tongue flashed into and out of view like a lizard carefully searching for flies on a sharpened jagged surface, his forehead jolted into life and then fell asleep again in an ongoing display of convulsions and dormancy like volcanic skin. He formed his lips around words, letters, consonants and vowels in a bewildering variety of oral gymnastics and twinges and seemingly-agonized writhings that would keep the viewer on constant alert and readiness for a medical emergency to be imminent. His eyes widenened and narrowed in emphasis to his utterances as though he was seeking to convey to the listener that his vocal cords were communicating one thing but his musculature was communicating something else, can you guess what?....and does it have to do with secrets from other planes of existence?....Hmmmmm???? - this is what he seemed to be asking via body language. At surprising moments his emaciated and protein-free bones would lurch rearward in his chair and his face would measureably expand in all directions backwards as though he had just been hit with an invisible hurricane to the face, as though all mysteries had been suddenly solved for him by what the person revealed without the person's knowledge that he had revealed it, as though William Buckley had just perceived The Real Truth in the other person that the other person had so desperately sought to hide. It was all EXTREMELY unsettling watching him do all this in a relentless choreography of what appeared to be alien-induced incipient madness. But no one being interviewed ever blurted, "What the fuck is wrong with you!!!" These bizarrely disturbing mannerisms were never to be brought to his or anyone else's attention, apparently, due to some astoundingly arcane underground agreement, as though by a tacit understanding instituted and sworn to by 44th degree Masons on a Halloween evening around the altar of Baal at the moment the infant's throat was cut and it's blood drunk from the skulls of raped and beheaded nuns. His facial and torsoidal convulsions were not to be remarked on. Ever. By anyone. And I have not even as yet TOUCHED upon the creepy, oily, unctuous, servile salamandery matter of William Buckley's VOICE. It would slide upward for a few words at the same time his eyebrows would slam also upwards, violently, and then there would be a pause, as though his voice was readying itself for the decent. The decent would be fast: it would result in only, often, a one-word finale, which, if it had more than one syllable, the early ones would be of medium altitude and the last one would be down in the basement somewhere with the elastic roundness of the Buckley mouth and foul New England teeth sealing it up, almost, in deep and resonant silence. It was a whole new chapter in the Book Of Quirks From Hell. Buckley's "political philosphy" was the Ten Commandments and the personal opinions of Thomas Aquinas. America was to adhere to these "guidelines" if She wanted to remain "America:".....the America of a Catholic grammar school in New England in 1912. The guidelines were vague and relied on "tradition" and an instict-for-nostalgia that was assumed to be manifest and installed into every American at birth, and by following where this radar signal led you, you would be heading in the right direction to make William Buckley comfortable. It did not matter if you were comfortable heading there. Only that William Buckley was comfortable watching you go. Most of Conservatism revolves around, and is involved with, and is fixated upon, the human penis. Just like most of Catholicism is. Catholicism and Conservatism are oddly connected, even though I am not convinced that either of them actually realizes it. As a Conservative you are not suppposed to acknowledge the existence of the human penis except when it is to be used to cause conception in an authorized recipient. Conservatives are convinced they are "better" than Liberals. Whatever Liberals are. They are better because they do not ejaculate willynilly. And that's basically what Conservatism is: a political philosophy whose adherent participants and devotees focus most of their attention and effort in not ejaculating irresponsibly. Incredibly, Conservatives are mystified as to why their numbers are diminishing. They are absolutely astonished that their astoundingly boring, unfathomable, and undefinable view of "proper" human existence is not burgeoning into a whirling firestorm of screaming and hollering popularity and seam-bursting growth like a great Cancer of Wonderfulness. I will answer that for you my Limbaugh-ettes, why your numbers are diminishing: it's because not only are you all stupid, you're all boringly stupid. Unlike the Libs who are also stupid but at least interestingly stupid. I mean, the New Niggerinchief, DUMB AS HE IS, had at least enough sense to get the faggot fashion industry behind him, which is where the masses are: attentive to fashion. Sure, he's a faggot and that didn't hurt any in getting the fashionistas on board. But you know what I'm talking about, yoou Conservative Moral Elitists. Although maybe you don't. Being, you know, what I said before: stupid. And stuff.

The Only Nigger I Can Stand

It's this guy here. He knows what he is. He don't try to cover it up. He don't try to soft-peddal it. He don't try to pretend he's something different than what he is. He ain't tryin' ta pretend he's white. He ain't tryin' to get you to like 'im. He ain't tryin' to hide that he's black. He ain't tryin' ta say we're all the same. That's for fuckin' sure. He ain't tryin' to say that he's Presidential material. He ain't tryin' ta say that he's a Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, Shinto, Hindu, Apache, Zoroastrian or Jew. Nope, what he's sayin' is he's a fuckin' voodoo savage, hangin'-from-the-branches, climbin'-up-the-walls, bayin'-at-the-moon, howlin'-mad, butt-ugly, huge-peckered, gonna try and bust your daughter's cherry, fuckin' swamp coon. Period. He lays it all right out there for you to see. And he's comfortable with it. And if you aint?.... he's sayin' "Fuck you, Massa Fuck." Presenting: My Favorite Nigger: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orNpH6iyokI

OCD

OCD stands for "obsessive, compulsive disorder." It's my opinion that all "mental illness" is just a version of this. In one form or another. This "post," which is gay internet lingo for "a gay blogger's gay installment for the day," will be probably ongoing as my fantastic genius brain continues to break down the barriers of knowledge and technology and new forms of porn to bring to you knowledge and understanding. Many of you millions now reading this will become suddenly sane as you have your mind filled with insight. I will not be sending a bill for any of this. Because I don't know any of your addresses. You can repair this tragedy whenever you feel like. The human brain runs on OCD. Except it is not all Disorderly. It's what keep us alive and makes life endurable. Otherwise we would all jump off a cliff if we saw how meaningless it all really is and where we actually fit into the scheme of things. Which would be in the same slot as fungus. But OCD deludes us - in a good way - that life has meaning. "Routine" becomes comforting and enjoyable. Comfort and enjoyment keeps us alive longer. Long enough to reproduce. Which is all that is really "wanted" from us by Nature: offspring. Nature wants us to breed. So that what we bred can breed. In between the breeding and raising of young we have to live our life. Routine makes that endurable. Enforced routine, however, makes us angry. Not routine that is enfoced by our considtions but routine that is enforced by other people. We don't like that. Unfortunately, Nature, while almost forcing us to breed, is also trying to kill us by accident. Nature is not our friend. Nature is not something we have to be a guardian over. Nature is something we have to conquer. A step at a time. Each successfull step is called progress. Progress is swiftly hastned by technology. Technology is created by humans smarter than you. Certainly smarter than me. We all have our own individual OCD things going on. When they are not disorders they are Personality Triaits. They are ours and they make our life comfortable and fun. The problems come when other people try to get us to adopt THEIR Obsessive Compulsive Personality Traits. Then it becomes OCD. Since Nature is trying to accidentally kill us, and since we ain't all that tough, we band together into groups of idiots. We figure if we have enough idiots around us, maybe we can scare off what is chasing us. And evevn if what is chasing us doesn't leave, it probably wont kill all of us. Just one or two. whatever it takes to alleviate its hunger. so we live in groups. Out of fear and terror. However in groups we don't feel fear and terror all the time. We feel whatever The Group is feeling. We go by that. Cause we as individuals dont know if we should be scared or not. We aint that good at spotting animals and danger. But it is likely that someone in the group IS good at this shit. When he gets scared then we will get scared. when he gets calm then we will get calm. that will work, what the fuck, lets use it. then i can get some sleep and Mr. Watchful can keep a fuckiin eye on thigs, he likes it so much..

In All Fairness To Scientology

In all fairness to Scientology, a lot of people use as a weapon against them the "improperly released" news about Xenu and him being the evil galactic ruler who imprisoned souls and blew them up and used volcanoes and h bombs and now they are attatched to us and holding us back from our rightful superpowers and so on and so forth. The argument goes that this is a silly story because it didnt happen. These same people say the Bible DID happen. Which also has weird, not everyday, shit in it. So why is the Xenu stuff any weirder than the Jehova stuff? Or the Lucifer stuff? Or the Moses stuff? Or the Elijah stuff? Why is it WEIRDER stuff? it's just DIFFERENT stuff. So criticizing Scientology for the Xenu Incident is ridiculous. Especially IF IT ACTUALLY EXPLAINS WHY PEOPLE ARE FUCKED UP. Assuming people actually are fucked up. And not just monkeys and apes and ass-scratching primates doing their ass-scratching thing. Which would be a very simple and uncomplicated, and by just looking around for a minute a probably very accurate assessment and not at all profound or mystical or holy or subtle or confusing or deep. Just monkeys being monkeys. Full of mischief. Full of meanness. Full of noise. Full of shit. Full of murder. Full of deceipt. Full of avarice. Full of theft. And liking to eat, drink, masturbate, fuck, masturbate, play with our cocks and balls, ejaculate, and go fast. Pretty simple monkey animal stuff. With no "higher purpose" in evidence anywhere in the extremely messy, bloody, dirty, feces-strewn, piss-filled, puke-reeking, monkeys-simply-being-monkeys picture. That we're here, to Just, let's say it again, eat, drink, masturbate, fuck, masturbate, play with our cocks and balls, ejaculate, and go fast. Pretty simple. Pretty basic. Pretty easy. Not at all weird. Not at all esoteric. Not at all hard. Except during periods of boners. Burma Shave.

The William J. Clinton Foundation

William J. Clinton, better known as Cock Flasher, has a message for you to give him money so that he can spend even more time overseas and out of the range of any legal authorities with hot, young, pre-teen girls who have no parents to report him to for making them put their hands on his penis. At least he ain't gay. I'll say that for the fucker. So please watch and please give. And please try and ignore that this entire monologue comes pouring out of the side of his mouth which has a permanent twist in it to the left side of his face. Which is also called "the lying side" of the face. Thank you and God bless you. http://www.clintonfoundation.org/how-you-can-help/why-i-give/

The Difference Between Lucifer And Yahweh

Yahweh says you can do what you want because Yahweh is God and Yahweh said so. Lucifer says you can do what you want because you are god and Lucifer says so. In the first case you acknowledge your subservience to God and God's superiority to you. In the second case you proclaim your equality with God and Lucifer's superiority to both of you. In both cases you play a subservient role to one or the other. Though in one case appropriately and logically and in the other case in a pretty insane and fucked up and also untrue manner out of all accord with actual true reality. Ayn Rand declares you superior to both God and Lucifer because they don't exist despite a ton of evidence to the contrary which she absolutely refuses to look at take that away from me right now damn your soul take that filth away DO YOU HEAR ME but that you are subservient to her or else get the fuck out forever and damn you to hell you are not worthy to be in my majestic and awesome self-righteous regal and somehow alluringly austere presence. Even though I am extremely homely. And, whoa, speaking of homely, L. Ron Hubbard declares that you are not just superior to God and Lucifer but that YOU ACTUALLY ARE THE BOTH OF THEM and are subservient only to L. Ron Hubbard and only by virtue of the fact that he has brought all this to your attention due to perhaps a fortuitous draw of the cards or a happenstance fall of the dice and maybe even some even more whimsical whim of sheer whimsical whimsy and maybe just good fortune for which he maybe shouldn't - who knows - even take any credit for at all, in all humility, but nevertheless it WAS HIM that did show you the way and the truth and the light. Just for the record. In case you needed reminding. So in all FAIRNESS making him the highest one of all. Just by virtue of the very nature of things or maybe just by the very serendipityness of the very random nature of things. But that it was still him that pointed it out to you But that he is very humble about it. But that he is still the highest one of all. Just for the record. Because he showed you all this stuff you didn't know before but that he does. And that he got it all 100% right the very first time he uttered it. With no mistakes. And no need at all for independent testing or analysis or even dialogue or discussion or empirical evidence or even hearsay, except for favorable and corroborating hearsay only. That kind is always correct. Don't you agree. Ok; I got that; you don't agree. Then obviously we will have to clear this up. There is obviously something wrong with you. Don't you agree. Ok, you don't agree. Then obviously there is something wrong with you and we will have to clear this up. Don't you agree. (And so forth for ten more trillion years. Or however long it takes.)

Why Jesus Was Executed

Jesus was executed because in a short period of time he had amassed a ton of followers. Who just followed him around. And the reason they followed him around was because of two reasons: what he did - which was cure them of everything they had and give them free food from out of nowhere; and also because of what he said. And what he said was "You don't have to obey your laws anymore. I instituted them and now I am getting rid of them. I am your diety and I am releasing you from all your legal obligations. And to prove to you that I am not lying and that I actually am your diety, here, let me heal this guy with leprosy eating his face off. There we go. Oops, dead kid. Hold on: Ok; now it's a live kid. Whoa!....blood pouring out of this woman's twat! Can't have that! Twats are weird enough as it is!! There we go, all nice and clean as a Summer's Eve. Now, like I was saying, you can now do what you want. HA HA!....But still watch out for hubby! HAHA! I don't care if you fuck his ol' lady but HE might!!!! No matter HOW fuckin' ugly she might be!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!" People liked this idea. This idea that the laws no longer were in effect. They REALLY liked it. The lawyers did not like that idea. The courts did not like that idea..The priests did not like that idea. But the people really did. They liked it so much that when Jesus finally went to the Capitol of Jew World they showed up like people who show up outside the Academy Awards. All the bureaucrats got nervous. They were about to be out of jobs. They were a mini government underneath the Mega government of Rome which had conquered them. The Romans let them do their Jew Shit so long as they did their Roman Shit too. Jesus told his followers, "Hey, keep doing the Roman shit or they'll kill you. I am not dissolving the State. Just the Church. Once the Church goes the State will follow. Don't ask me why this is, whattayou care the reason. Just trust me. It'll happen. Don't worry about it. I know what I'm doing. Eventually only you and me will be left. So you don't have to do what these fucking annoying Jew Asshole Bastards keep telling you to do anymore. Just ignore them." This was good news to the people. This was really bad news to the Annoying Jew Loan Extortionists and the Annoying Jew Church Duty Extortionists and the annoying Jew Legal Profession and the Annoying Jew bureaucrats on the Public Jew Payroll. All of whom were about to lose their jobs of living off other people like communists. Plus it was bad news to the doctors who were getting fewer and fewer patients who were all now going to You Know Who who was not only healing them, he was not billing them either!!! Plus the two grave diggers were getting less work since this fucker showed up. They'd go to pick up a body and if Jesus got there first the fucker wasn't dead anymore. You know how this ended. It ended in Christmas and Easter.

The Niggerinchief In Afghanistan

Here's the Niggerinchief in Afghanistan talking to a bunch of sandniggers, assuring them that they - the Muslims - will win the war they have been frustrated in winning due to the pesky presence of the United States War Machine. But that he - the Niggerinchief - will rectify that in January. You will notice that the American contingent of warriors has placed itself as far away from the Niggerinchief as they possibly can and still remain inside the room. You will also please notice that the Niggerinchief, seated amidst his Muslim pals, looks exactly like a bewildered tiny rhesus monkey talking to angry - and by comparison gigantic - people. Don't you just want to pick him up by two fingers and hold him at arms length and walk over to a trashcan and drop him in just based on his outwardly repulsive appearance? Do you also notice that even though the Niggerinchief is sitting amidst a slew of creeps of astounding vileness that they STILL don't seem as evil as Our New Nigger? And the reason they don't look as vile is because they are NOT QUITE AS GAY as Our New Nigger is. And if Obama ain't gay, Tom Cruise is Gene Simmons and Richard Simmons is Victor Mature and Clay Aiken is Milton Berle and I'm fuckin' Denise Richards and Jamie Pressly with my ten inch dick while Paris Hilton advises, Lindsay Lohan dances nude on a glass table over my head, Brittney Spears clam-bumps Shannen Doherty underneath the glass table I'm on, and Jesus ain't a fuckin' Jew. Burma Shave.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DKMtfyNGg1Q&feature=channel

The Iranian Sandnigger's Christmas Message

I don't know if the American Self-Hating-Jews Atheist press has paid any attention to it but on Christmas, the Muslim sandnigger with the long name that has the same haircut at our new Nigger In Chief.....I'm just gonna make that one word from now on. Niggerinchief. Anyway he sat down and gave the world his Christmas message, actually mentioning Jesus by name more than any American office holder in history ever did. I didn't hear anyone getting upset about it either. Not only did he mention Jesus all over the place, he went on and on about how revered Jesus is to the Muslims - and he is not lying about that - and how Jesus would this and Jesus would that, and Jesus would not like this and Jesus would not like that, and Jesus here and Jesus there....holy shit! It was like Sunday televison with Jan and Paul and all those other weirdos who appear on tv to tout Jesus, except Abadanajabbathehutt's hair actually looked better. He pretty much probably lulled a lot of Christians - who ain't all that bright, especially the evangelicals who have a problem with science altogether - into assuming that Islam is compatible with them. Well, Islam is compatible with JESUS. They have no problem with Jesus. And like the Catholics they really like Jesus' mom too. What they DON'T like is "Christians." And people who PRAY to Jesus. And people who think Jesus is God. THAT'S what they gut a problem with: you!...... JESUS?...... they gut no problem with him at all. They think he was a very nice man. Even though he was executed as a criminal. Don't matter to the Muslims. He was killed by Jews and so Jesus is ok with them. Jesus is ESPECIALLY ok with them. He got fucked by the Jews. The Muslims' attitude is "Yeah, well, whattaya expect, Jews are fucked up." But if you think Jesus is God, then you are gonna die. Jesus they will leave alone: you they will kill. So, yeah, Ababbajabba's speech had a lot of good to say about Jesus. Everyone on earth seemed to like what he had to say about Jesus. Everyone except probably Jesus. Oh, and also except me, of course.

Allah and Mohammed At Work

Here's a nice video of the Fag God Allah, created by the Jew boy-lover Mohammed, at work. His task for this day was the blowing up of a dozen school children via a car bomb. Please notice that the US Government spent a ton of money making the area suicide-bomber proof but permitted this Muslim in the car full of TNT to weave very slowly, all by himself, through the barriers in order to blow up the kids. Which he did. In fairness to the US Government, while we the American Fuckhead Taxpayers paid for the barriers, it is unlikely that any Americans were on guard in the area at the time. More likely it was Allah's faggot Muslim fuckhead Allah-sucking followers at the helm. A US camera implacement was on hand however to record the rather obvious see-it-coming-a-mile-away event. The children never did make it to school that day. But they all had good excuses. They were all dead. They were targeted for death because the Muslims found out they were learning something other than Islam at the school. Muslims hate that. They do not want anyone to learn that there is another way of life besides becoming a human zombie for all of your life and then ending your life by comitting murder-suicide in public. They would rather that you just, well, become a human zombie all of your life and then end your life by committing murder-suicide in public! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4gWf_l4N9m0&eurl=http://news.google.com/news?client=safari&rls=en&q=afghan+students+killed+in+blast&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF

Movie Review: The Dark Knight

Pretty fuckin' empty. Except for fifteen total seconds when Batman has a really cool vision device. Other than that, you wait 2 and a half hours for the movie to start. It never fucking does. Then it ends. And you sit through the credits 'cause at least the music's pretty ok. Movie reviews ain't too bad when a goddamn fuckin fag ain't doin' 'em, right? If I was a fag this review would have been a glowing tribute to god only knows what for another 3,000 words. Like every fucking other review of this movie I read. Mine is the only accurate one. I know: I read them all. Nothing happens in it. Lotsa talk. Harvey Dent. Who gives a shit. Batman's ugly girlfriend. Who gives a shit. Does she really love Batman?...or does she really love Harvey Dent. Who gives a shit. She loves Batman. And she dies. And who gives a shit. Batman and Dent give a shit. They both love a homely no-titted skag dullard with bags under her eyes. She dies. Harvey Dent dies. The Joker, we think he was captured. Batman is declared the real villain by the elected officials for some weird reason we are supposed to understand and the townspeople who are all wonderful, just like the felons in prison, because they did not kill each other because they chose self sacrifice instead of not self sacrifice Jesus Fucking Christ who the fuck knows it just went on and on and on with the smaltz and the crap and the fucking joker, Jesus Christ, even the comic book crowd hates the Joker because he's boring. Fuck. It was just awful. And it got the greatest reviews in movie history from every fag reviewer in America. Please tell the Muslims and the Scientologists I wish to be destroyed now. Thank you.

When Patriotism Ends

Well, for me, it pretty much ends when a Muslim nigger becomes President. I don't know when it ends for you. Pro'bly never because you could be an idiot. Now, to be fair, it ain't so much the nigger himself that's the problem. It's what a nigger becoming president actually MEANS. It doesn't mean things are just GOING to go downhill faster than a Mexican down a lard slide. It means that things have ALREADY HIT ROCK BOTTOM. It means that it's all over. It means that now all that remains is for what we have to fall into disrepair, cause there aint gonna be no new stuff and what we have that breaks down aint gonna get fixed. Ever. Because in countries or cities or town or households where a nigger is in charge, things grind quickly to a fucking halt and become covered in trash and all the windows get boarded up. So that's what's going to happen to the USA: the country is going to get boarded up. And covered in trash. Niggers have no pride of place or of person. They have no idea where they came from because in Africa there were no countries or cities where the niggers lived. That didn't happen until White people took over and started making things orderly. Before that everyone lived in a fucking mud hut. And they didn't know who they were or why they were or where they were because, One; they were dumbass stoneage savages living in the dirt, and, Two; they came over here in steerage, without a ticket. They were basically smuggled in against their will. They have no national identity, and then you make them the mayor or a Senator or a boyfucking Congressman or hall monitor and now HA HA President, why they just fucking scream and yell and jump up and down and go ooga booga and are clueless about everything. Because they're stupid. "Stupid niggers" I believe is the term. They revere and respect stupidity. They admire it. They insist on it. They fuck-up any nigger who tries to act white. Or who tries to actually learn anything. Or even act non-nigger. They believe in magic. And they cant fix anything. And dont "get" anything. And that's just what Americans are ready for. Because after 50 years of slow conditioning to where white people threaten to kill other white people who say nigger........ THEY JUST MADE ONE OF THESE DUMBASS STUPPID STONEAGE MONKEYS THEIR PRESIDENT. HOW FUCKING STUPID MUST YOU BE YOU LOOK TO A NIGGER TO SOLVE YOUR FUCKING PROBLEMS!!! HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!! Where do these dumbass schmucks think they are going to be led with a fucking cannibal leading them? A fucking stewpot maybe? If the Saudis hit another city in America its a pretty good bet i wont give a shit, Probly no one else will either. It's a country run by a nigger, so who's gonna cares what happens to it. Who is going to risk their life to defend a nigger country? Ummmm, let me help you with this one: NOBODY! Well, really stupid white people are pro'bly the only ones who might. Mexicans sure aint gonna. Niggers sure aint gonna. A nigger would die for a white man a whole lot sooner than he'd die for a fucking nigger. I know what i'm talkin about. Niggers hate niggers. They just pal around with em to upset Whitey. But now that a nigger is the chief of niggers and Whites, the other niggers are gonna fucking figure out a way to become chief themselves. And not by another election. They'll just attack the White House like a bunch of fuckin' Mau Maus. I'm so fucking demoralized, I'll just wait untill the nigger Muslims come to the door and fuckin' shoot em i guess. I guess that's pretty much what the future of america is: same as the future of Lebanon and Israel and the Congo and the Serb Croat cesspool of shit and fucking everywhere but I think Australia.

The New Nigger And The U.S. Marines

The Nigger In Chief dropped in on some Marines in Hawaii, interrupting their Christmas meal. You never saw a room full of more indifference and boredom than this room full of warriors encountering the stick-boned, gay, mincing fag-speak spokesman for their greatest enemy, Islam. Talk about a tribute to the Marines' ability to obey orders. Before that fucking piece of shit showed up a piece of Marine Brass pro'bly meandered through the place, telling everyone "That fucking Aids-infected new piece of shit 'president' is gonna crash this party in a second. Do NOT kill him." There ain't one person leaving the table to rush over and shake his slippery eel-like little tiny petite manicured gay faggy queerbait jizz-covered commie dainty little-girl hand. And don't think it's because they consider him one of the guys and he ain't no big deal, that they are all old friends. That ain't what's goin' on. What's goin' on is that everyone there is having a very tough time keeping their chow down and not puking it up all over the place. This is the biggest joke in American, maybe planetary, history, that little nigger idiot getting elected President. I sure hope all the "rapture" crap is true, i definitely want outa here. Screw this country and its nigger in chief.

So Hey Jayster, Did You Ever Fuck Annette?

As at least three of you know, I used to be Jay-Jay on the Mickey Mouse Club in the 50's. I have only discussed any of this on Original MMC, a site I contributed Mouseketeer shit to. But I think I can do the same here, only of a nature more to my own editorial needs than to the needs of the fellow running that other site. I mean, he has some class. I don't. And of course, therefore, to get this underway, the question I was most asked during my long and slow decline into the sewers of existence from the lofty social plane that was The Life Of A Mouseketeer, is - "So: Jay-Jay; tell me; did you fuck Annette?" This of course is not a quesion Annette herself would have ever been asked: "So, did you fuck so and so?" No male would have ever asked her that because they would be arrested. Because Annette had tons of clout. What clout did EYE have: a gay, black, gently-rounded-boy-ass prancing fairylad drooled over by adult fags. Of course, right now, in 2008, these qualifications would have given me mega clout in this boy-loving fag-president-elect America. But there was not, nor still is there, any way I can have some dude arested for asking ME that question. I just have to keep hearing it asked over and over again. Fortunately all the people who would be in a meaningful - to them - position to ask me this (the meaningful position being "old") now....... are all dead. Of old age. And so I can now answer it for all the people who not only have never asked me, but also wouldn't even think of asking me because they don't know who the fuck I am or care. Ironic, no?...the people truly interested are never going to hear the answer: only those who probably don't even know who or what the fuck I am talking about are going to hear the answer. And they don't give a shit. And here is the answer: if I HAD fucked Annette, I mean really and truly had my pecker penis cock pud dong dick rod baster&batter boner meat tube blood-sausage against and/or inside her twat or did anything that any reasonable person would have accepted as a reasonable and fair approximation of fucking that was so close to BEING fucking that they would just accept it as fucking, and I think that would include rubbing my swollen dickhead around on her erect Wopine nipples or getting a blowjob from her pleasant Italian face or getting a handjob around the corner of a building in a hurry before we had to go back to work or secretly fingerfucking her under her blue pleated skirt somewhere in the bafg of the huge studio hangar where nobody went - that would be included in the average schmuck's definition of "fucking." At least as far as this question is concerned. Don't you agree? Now if I had actually done one or more of any of these things - there is no way in hell I would actually tell anyone. Fuck THEM. When you actually go skin to skin with some broad: you don't tell another dude about it. 'Cause it's like he gets to fuck her offa your story. Which is pretty fuckin gay. No: the only time you go around braggin about how you fucked so and so IS IF YOU NEVER FUCKED SO AND SO!!! Because if you never fucked so and so then you're a fuckin' loser to other guys. And we don't want to be that. SO WE FUCKING LIE. So, yeah, I sure did fuck that little Guinni teen; right when her tits got sprouted out to their new growth of pristine teen newness and that pussy smelled like nothing at all. Man: there was jizz all over the place. She fuckin' took what she didn't need home in a jar and tells me she still has it. She can keep it. That's all she's gettin'. I moved on, lady!! Put it in a fuckin' locket and never dump it out! 'Cuz you ain't gettin' a refill!! Deal with it, babe!!.

My Personal Patriotism Crisis

I don't suppose any of you know this because we have never sat down and really talked. But I used to be a superpatriot. You have no idea. America First, or go fuck yourself, or better yet let me nuke ya. That was me. But - and I say this to all my fellow superpatriots because i still don't really give a shit about the rest of ya, but to my superpatriot compadres, I gotta tell y'all, now that we gut a nigger allah-fucking faggot president _ I mean, can it get any WORSE than that?....a nigger, a commie, a muslim, and a fag - all rolled up into one little queer little allah-fucking ball of teeth and lips....can it get any fucking WORSE than that??? It sure son't seem too highly possible. As a result of this nightmare created by my fellow voters - i don't really give a shit about America no more. I mean, it's over as far as I can see. When we get to the level that we elect a fucking nigger muslim to run the country, this ain't no country for me no more. If I gut this wrong I will welcome any well-meaning sensible advice to the contrary. Until then, it's every man for himself, as far as I can see. I am armed and have escape routes and hideouts and I guess we're all headed to a Mad Max way of life for the next few thousand years. Have a nice allah and thank you and fuck you. You now know where I stand. I give America to the niggers and the spics. Turn it into Africa and Tiajuana and kill each other in the process like the niggers do in the Congo and like the southern Mexicans do is El Salvador. Have fun. And keep your powder dry: you're gonna need dry powder you come lookin' for me.

Night Life In Twin Peaks

"Night Life In Twin Peaks" is a cut from the Twin Peaks music album. Or cd. Or LP. Or alblum as some reetard I know used to say. It's from whatever technology we use now. It's pretty funny. That is, it's pretty funny that that's the title of the cut. David Lynch throws the comedy into as many places in his depressing carnivals of fun and hijinx as he can. I'm surprised he has never called me to put one of my biker stories on film. I'm probably a little too upbeat for him. Which is good. Good for me. Otherwise I'd be hanging from a cell ceiling. HAHAHAHAHAHA. I guess that's not funny. "Night Life In Twin Peaks" is the long slow monotone of slowly changing monotones of low decibel musical instruments, and maybe sounds produced from the moans of artificially vibrated skulls that when you listen to its droning, slowly twisting drawn out notes and sustained slightly distorted chords the night life that you picture is people from the town all now in the forest, all apart from one another, each of them ploddily and lethargically and with determination mixed with indifference pulling dead humans by one heel deeper and deeper into the loamy, moldy wetness of the pine woods of a cold rainforest region, in the comfortable cold of an August night with the moon too morose to shine, the dresses of the girls being dragged riding up past their backs, and their underwear smeared and mottled with the cool moist flora and their bare white legs and white thighs catching the pale light of death surrounding them and brightening the scene to the level of pallor and ghostlight, one thigh off the ground where the puller plods drearily and indifferently along, the other thigh ending at the bent knee where the leg drags its calf and shin against the forest floor, the dresses up to the backs and navels, the underpants being slowly introduced into the seams and cleavages of their unholy butts and so called innocent vaginas but in reality troughs and sluices of SIN, the pelvises yielding and indifferent to their exposure to the dull unglancing eyes of the mindless proles of gloomy death and God's retribution for copulation and all manner of vulgar crotch related inappropriateness who are pulling them along, step by plod by slide by slosh by step. Accompanying all this is a slow constant "beat" played by a pair of steel brushes in the hands of the drummer, swishing and tapping on a snare, as if "Dancing In the Dark" were quietly playing in the backround in a far-away night club. But it isn't. It's hilarious. But you don't laugh at it. You get scared. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

The Nigger In Chief

It's not even 2009 and a lot of people are wondering when i am going to start-in on the New Nigger. When he gets into office, people. When he gets into office. I won't let you down. He will give me PLENTY to talk about. If nothing else the nigger president will maybe wake the white people who think niggers CAN ACTUALLY BE IN CHARGE OF THINGS, it will wake them up to how fucked up they are to think that. I mean, no matter how fucked up they might be they won't be fucked up enough not to notice that the Nigger Leader is even more fucked up than them. Even the stupidest white person will get a good clear picture of it.

Inexplicably Famous People cont.

Danny Kaye. Yup, you had to know that sooner or later, on my list of inexplicably famous people Danny Kaye would be making a stellar appearance. While I have mentioned Jerry Lewis in other posts, you will, if you make an effort, notice that he has never made it onto THIS particular list. That is because his fame is not ENTIRELY inexplicable: for one thing Dean Martin was his partner for many years. Dean Martin was a pal of the Mob. So inexplicability is not the issue here. ADVISEABILITY maybe. PLUS he runs that million dollar charity......thing.....he does. From Las Vegas. That never seems to accomplish much. At least not for the victims of whatever it is that the charity ain't curin'. So he ain't inexplicable. If you look around, under here, under there, under ONE o' them rocks, you are going to find explicability. With an Italian last name on it. But Danny Kaye? Holy shit. Only a cellar fulla blackmail photos would explain his movie career. He could do nothing: and construct so much crap around it - that you were convinced he just built the Parthenon. Goofy songs, goofy noises, goofy expressions, goofy verse, goofy mugging, goofy spit-takes, goofy lip contortions, goofy monacle schtick, goofy hand gestures, goofy names, goofy yelling, goofy pratfalls, goofy laughing, goofy coughing seizures, goofy hiccups, goofy dialects, goofy sustained opera tonalities, goofy wheezings, goofy this, goofy that....and not one bit of it even remotely amusing or entertaining. Just bizarre. Like a two headed snake. You look at it. But you don't get it. Or see the point. Or understand what it could possibly be good for. But there it is. Danny Kaye is like that. A Danny Kaye movie marathon would probably be a good way to get Muslims to either confess, or commit suicide in their cells. That's what I want to do when I see a Danny Kaye "performance" of anything at all: confess or commit suicide. Whichever would get it to end the quickest. Here is Danny Kaye at his astoundingly embarassingly worst and deeply embedded inside his own weird world of entertainment at its most non human and unrelated-to-anything-earthly hideousest. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZG5KImGATL4&feature=related And if you manage to survive that entertainment apocalypse, from the very same movie - making it clearly therefore the worst move ever made - comes this, even for Danny Kaye - Medal of Honor winner for bilge and tripe and manic desperation for a miracle to occur and somehow transform this above-and-beyond-the-call-of-duty-Jew-moxie into genuine entertainment on at least SOME level. It doesn't happen. If you NEED an excuse to commit suicie the following clip will provide it for you. I'll say goodbye to you in advance. If you thought THIS BLOG was bad: heh heh: you ain't seen nuthin' yet. Take it, Danny!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FmgdBvVOH9A&feature=related

Jerry Lewis, King of the Jews

It's Christmas Eve and every Christmas Eve, at least since the internet started, I like to go to You Tube and watch Jerry Lewis's pantomime to the typewriter sound effects in Leroy Anderson's The Typewriter Song which the King of the Jews "performed" in one of his god awful motion picture comedy horrors. It is titled, on You Tube, as Jerry Lewis's "masterpiece." It is about the most personally embarassing - to me - experience I am - to date - capable of having. He is SO bad and SO nervy and SO obviously convinced that he is actually being entertaining, that, by way of contrast, Doodles Weaver performing the Beetlebomb Skit, or Don Adams performing the Astronaut's Crayons skit, seem like comedic flashpoints of brilliance from William Shakespeare rather than the dismal comedy crap they really are. I have a good imagination and I cannot imagine the pain and personal humiliation of the production crew on the set at having to be a part of the filming of this atrocity that actually rivals the Holocaust in the merciless degree of the intensity of pure, unfiltered, sadistic torture to the victims: who in this case would be Jerry's audience. Of course Jerry Lewis's whole performing career has been an endless onslaught and infinitely long dumpster train of performances just like this one, filled to the brim and overflowing onto the floor with strained, bizarre, and almost crazed versions of comedy embarassment. But his pantomime of a typist to The Typewriter Song is by far the most caustically painful to me personally and I try to never miss it on Christmas Eve so that I can be thankful for all the other things I have that are NOT the watching of this performance of raw, naked, unwholesomely revolting, cow puke. Good job, Jerry, you really, really ARE a festering, steaming, whalloping and gurgling pile of worthless drizzling shit.

What is a Cult

A cult is any group offering superpowers to its members and/or protection from "harm." So far all cults have failed in the second offering - protection from harm: their members have all died. And as far as the receipt of superpowers is concerned not one of them has ever defied a law of Nature successfully or otherwise demonstrated a feat: most cult members cannot SPELL levitation or telepathy much less perform it. The members have to pay to be in the cult. All current religions are cults. All governments are cults. Many "businesses" are cult-similar. Most "associations," as different from "sports teams," are cults. Any two people forming an alliance "of complete union" is a cult. A "complete union" would be "a conviction that together more (energy, power, spiritual 'influence' karma, aura-production, chi ) or other vague non-entity exists at the disposal of either or both members for instantaneous use." The "use" is usually a "wish." More often than not a wish for a weakening of an opponent, imagined or real. All tribes are cults. The only "asssociations" other than "sports teams" that are not cults are "armies." Or other types of "war groups" such as "navies." Or "air forces." These are armies basically, just not on land, so to speak. All cults WANT to be armies. But they do not want to face danger. So they do their killing "secretly." Armies can kill freely. Armies do not go to jail. Until they are defeated by another army. Then they do. Or they get executed. Cults kill secretely. One way or another. Because cults, unlike armies, fear direct physical confrontation involving weapons. Armies, on the other hand, this is their job. Because armies are not cults. And they know this is the only way to get that particular job done. Which would be defeating and killing your opponent or enemy. And, well, conquest of other humans. This is WAY too dangerous an undertaking for cult members. Only one cult is also an army: Islam. The Mob is a cult and kills "its enemies" secretly. Armies do not kill secretly. On the contrary. They make a big show of it. They want everyone to know what they are up to and how they are going about it and how it all turned out. There is nothing secret about an army's activities. Masons secretly kill the innocent - complete strangers. Unlike the Mafia, which kills people it at least knows. Or knows ABOUT. The Masons are VERY fucked up. Even for cults. They are really out there. They make other cults, even Islam, look normal. There cannot be "a cult of one." You always need at least two. So that one can control the other. All cults are superstitious entities, the members believing that their united "purpose" creates "wish fulfillment." This is a delusion. Delusion is the life force of every cult. At some point it began to occur to cult leaders that all of their members died. It apparently may not have been noticed by the members, however. In anticipation of the day when it MIGHT be noticed by the members the cult leaders switched their emphasis from "prevention from harm" to "prevention from harm in the NEXT life." This is now the norm in all "totally-into-it" cults, such as the Catholics or the Masons, or their derivatives, such as the Scientologists, Mormons, and Jehova's Witnesses. And since no one from the next life has come back to inform anyone in this life what exactly is occuring in the next life, be it good or ill, there has to date been no real controversy about it. The people in this life seem content to believe what other people in this life tell them about the next life. To those who might say "Well how can you compare the Masons with the Catholics, the Masons forbid the name of Jesus and the Catholics are just the opposite: Jesus is what they are all about." Well, Jesus is what they are all about IN PRINCIPLE. But in practice He gets diluted a lot into His mother, the saints, the clergy, the sacraments, the mysteries, the traditions, the history, the Catholic Church Itself, they gut a million things goin' that are, if not the equivalent of Jesus, they are things Jesus apparently cannot do without to be fully effective. The Catholics are a mess. They're all over the place. Unlike the Muslims. Who are pretty simple and easy to understand and very direct and - astoundingly - very open about their "stuff." And their "stuff" is, you either join or you die: if you say anything bad about us you die: if you say anything bad about our deity or our founder you die. The Catholic "stuff" is "You needn't join: but if you do; you cannot leave as far as God is concerned." You can badmouth Catholics and their beliefs and their founder etc all you want, they don't do anything drastic about it. Because Islam is the only cult that is also actually an army, Islam will eventually be the only cult left on earth. All the other cults will have, for one reason or another, ceased to exist. Only Islam will remain. Because they are also an army. They will attack and defeat all the other cults. Which fear armed conflict with an armed adversary. Muslims do not. Muslims fear nothing. Except the Bad Place. Muslims love armed conflict because if they die "for their cult" THEY GET THE AFTERLIFE GOOD PLACE!!! Remember earlier?...about that afterlife stuff? There ya go. Now, just because Islam will be the last cult to survive that does not mean Islam will be the last ARMY to survive. Only the last cult. If you LIKE Islam, this should come as great news to you. If you DON'T like Islam this should ALSO come as great news to you. Islam: something for everyone. WOO-HOO!!

Today's Law Question

Has anyone but me noticed that there ain't even ONE good law?......and by "good" law I mean a law that people get excited and happy about and go "Oboy!! We HAVE to do this!!" There ain't even one. Every single law there is or ever was - anywhere on earth - in history - pisses people off or makes them sad and depressed. You would think just by the "laws" of averages that a law that people liked would show up once in a while. Just at random. It ain't happened. What should we make of that. That's your question for today. You may masturbate now. Before it becomes illegal. Which it probably eventually will. It's already is illegal in some religions. Fortunately church laws don't send you to jail. They just send you to hell. And it's a crapshoot that there even is such a place. The evidence is pretty good though that jail actually does exist. Which is where disobeying State laws gets you. I seem to have lost my place.

Making Masons More Open

I address this to all my Mason readers, who before my earlier Masonic remarks numberd zero but who now probably number All Of Them. 'Cause I know you guys keep aware of your critics and, of course, each others' penises. Which is what I would like to talk about, namely, your penises. Which, I am sure you are quite excited about: your penises AND me now talking about them. I realize there was a time when you fellows had to maintain secrecy. Homosexuality and murdering women and babies was fairly well frowned upon. I believe killing women still is. But inter-male buttfucking, fraternalized oral copulation, and men jacking off other men is practically the norm these days, and, why, our new President is a homosexual, for Christ sake. I'm sorry: I mentioned Jesus. It won't happen again. But look at Hussein Obama's wife. Really. A fag hag of the first order. Maybe even of the 33rd order. I rest my case. And as far as you guys killing babies?... why it's practically so common, infant flesh will likely be soon a Futures commodity, like pork bellies. And the gay paraphernalia?....I realize its the closest you guys can come to "a decorative sense" that is so much better manifested in your more flamboyant gays, I am speaking now of the show-businessey and fashioney ones and the fellows in the arts. I realize you poor fellows are not artisans you are "craft"smen. and sort of "dark" ones at that. which would explain your murky sense of interior decor. Knives; goats; blood; oaths; that apron WHICH while fetching, really needs some sequins. Like the Shriners' fezes. Now THOSE GUYS are FUN. I LOVE that hat. (Still, really, boys, the sword? On a HAT? I think a nice bluebird would do just as well. BUT THAT'TH JUTHT ME!!) Not to mention all the references to ancient myths and dieties and, ya know, the superpowers stuff. It's just not FUN. But, hey, you're being the very best kind of homos you can be, and so what if it's not all skipping and show tunes and new openings for your Spring and Fall lines. And you don't have to DRESS the girls, just make the clothes. But I understand. You're more the business and political types and not really creative OR very good dancers. Or even musical. Really: you need to have at least a piano player or a nice combo playing during your events downstairs in "the room." Invite the public. I mean we outsiders are NOT shocked by anything anymore. Have you seen our new President? So you see we're ready for the "initiations." We won't retch or faint. We'll applaud. C'mon, just COME OUT!! It'll be FUN.

Most Racist

Someone sent me the most racist, mean spirited, "joke" I have yet to hear come out of the charged-up-and-raised-hackles election to date: "Sarah Palin and Michelle Obama were both asked, by two different magazines, to pose nude. Sarah Palin was asked by Playboy and Michelle Obama was asked by National Geographic." Now, that is tantamount to saying Michelle Obama is a stupid, naked savage of the veldt and seeing her naked is not a sin because it is no different than looking at a farm animal's teats and shithole and pussy. Which is why National Geographic could have tits on the newsstand in the 20's and 30's and 40's and 50's and 60' and 70's and there was never a fuss raised because to raise a fuss would be amounting to declaring that nigger women were human beings. And nobody wanted to do that. For two reasons: niggers would be declared human beings; and there'd be no more tits in National Geographic. And of the two just stated, the more important by far was that no more tits would allowed in National Geographic. You see, in the days when men and boys stared at the tits of the nigger women in National Geographic and used the visuals thus provided to install into their jacking-off studies a fantasy that would encourge arousal and more importantly, ejaculation of the jizz globs out of the penis and into the physiological bliss of the toilet - you didnt even have to hide the issue. The issue of the MAGAZINE, I mean. Not the issue from your cock. You DID have to hide THAT. But the women of the household, they always knew what us monkey males were up to. But they couldn't write to National Geographic and complain because it was understood by everyone in every civilized country on earth that niggers were animals and animals get to be naked. I don't know who managed to change this pleasant situation but at the time everyone was happy with it. White men, white women, nigger men, and i don't think the nigger women cared one way or the other. It was probably some faggot in Congress - which would be all of them - who started raising a fuss about it and now National Geographic is all about people who wear clothes. Just like Vogue. Without the ads. Or the good lookers. And without the tits. Although Vogue sometimes has tits. But usually not nigger tits. Usually white ones. I don't know the reason.
Maybe white tits and pink nipples go better with the clothes. You'd have to ask a designer. I don't know what the deal is regarding white or black tits-and-nipples and fashion. Or even if there IS a deal. Be good ta know. Fashion's very important. Wouldn't want to fuck it up.

Fake Tits

This is pro'bly gonna be the only WORTHWHILE post on this whole shitload blog that there is on it so far or most likely ever WILL be on it. I hear a LOTTA crap from "guys" who'll be lookin at some broad with her tits out at the beach or at the titty bar or at their house while we're fuckin' their ol' ladies, or their moms if they're hot, or some hot bullet-titted broad will come onto the porn channel or some fuckin' place or we'll pull some fuckin' chick's top off in the pool or in the church pew or whatever, and they'll say, these weird fuckers, they'll say, all pissed off, "Man, that tit job on her has her tits lookin' like fuckin' concrete bunkers. They don't even move, man. You couldn't DYNAMITE them jugs outa position." Like, that's a fuckin' problem, faggot. 'Cause here's the deal on fake tits: the deal is, my dick is eye-operated. And it gets its best workout when I'm kneelin' over some broad's naked chest and jackin' off my cock onto her tits. And when that's happenin', when I'm starin' at them two butterbags and my hand is whappin' against my cock so hard there's blue smoke comin-up from between my fingers and my ballsack is slappin against the side of my hand so fast it sounds like Gene Krupa on bennies and Buddy Rich on meth playin' pattycake with each other - I want both them tits visible, fucker. I don't want them melting down the side of her fuckin' rib cage like vanilla ice cream. I don't want them oozin' across her belly like some kinda seagoing gelatinous slop-o-pod. I want them tits stickin' up. Where I can see 'em. This is a crucial series o' moments for me. And my pecker and me, we want to be able to stay inspired. The both of us. You CHICKS are pro'bly followin' alla this explanation better than the fuckin' FAG DUDES that are readin' this that seem to like to loiter around this blog so much. Where the fuck was I. Oh, yeah, me jackin' off over a pair of poised and erect fake knockers. This is where all that surgery by the doctor, and sense of personal pride by the fuckin' broad, pays off. And that payment is made in jizz, my friend. Jizz from inside my pecker. Jizz from inside my pecker that makes its way outside at last and splats - or skids - onto - or across - them brand new, Jew-given tits. When she gets back to her fuckin' feet, Christ, I could give a shit what her fuckin' tits do after that. Once I jizz on 'em, shit, they can do whatever they want. They can stay where they are, they can flop around, they can do fucking jumping jacks, they can come off altogether and go into the fuckin' freezer for all I care. But when I need to have them torpedo-rigid and ramrod-straight and upright and facin' the ceilin', all nippage-hard and rock-solid to where I can see 'em and know they ain't gonna move while I am engaged in the only thing that gives my life any meaning at all - which would be ejaculating semen onto a pair of up-ended tits professionally hewn and scultured and American Made tits...they better fuckin' BE there. Where I can fuckin' SEE 'em. And they better be stock still and filled with man-made tit-stiffener. Because that is just the ticket to get me onto that ride. And that ride is the ride to deep and lasting and righteous eternal love for three seconds with the woman of my dreaams and the love of my life for the moment. Or however long it takes to e-jac-u-cum-u-jizz-ulate. So that's the name o' THAT tune as I believe Robert Blake says. So I hope I have made it clear and got my point across. 'Cause this is one topic where ambiguity ain't a virtue. And I'd sure hate to be misquoted by those fag Jew Masonic baby-eating, boy-fucking bastards at Time magazine about it. It would fuck up my whole life and reputation. Holy shit. 9-11, and that Jew shit during the Hitler War?..... hardly a Richter ripple by comparison.

Cyd Charisse

Cyd Charisse's real name was Tula Finklea. One of the beauties and yet at the same time one of the faults of this blog is that you get to hear what I want you to hear. Which could explain why there's never anybody here but me.

Lipstick On A Pig

"You can put lipstick on a pig but it's still a pig." Only a fag - and a murderous one of the female-targetting serial-killer variety - would say this about Sarah Palin with no compunction, no second thoughts, with full premeditation, with full intention and with full conviction. America, it appears, is finally going to reap the harvest from it's sewing of the seeds of unborn children into the lake of fire. A supernova of wrath. All hail the faggot nigger baby killer: the god of this world made flesh. Gird your loins, Christians, your beliefs are about to be tested by the Jesus-hating faggots. And you know how faggots get when they have authority: they sort of insist you suck their dicks. If you won't be having a problem with that you'll do just fine.

The Mayan Calendar

The Mayan Calendar, a calendar created by an aggregation of child-killers, ends Dec. 21, 2012. The new Mayan Calendar will then begin. There will be no Mayans to pick one up at the store. Because the Mayans are gone. The Mayans were able to lay stones on top of stones to a height taller than themselves. This ability is usually cited by archeologists as the hallmark of a "civilization." "Civilization" in archeology language is something "really good." For instance the Apaches didn't have a "civilization." They could not stack stones higher than themselves and if they could they didn't. So they are just a "society." Ants do not have a civilization but African termites might: they stack stones higher than themselves. They are very small stones. But termites are very small creatures. So back off. Inch for inch I REALLY doubt that you could do better. So you are not a civilization either. However there may be buildings where you live where stones have been stacked higher than you. So you were lucky to have stumbled into an area where people other than you stacked stones really high. So you live in a civilization. By default. Just in case you were starting to feel boastful. The Mayan stone-stackers and child-killers - who likely killed young women after debauching them in a holy rite of holiness that showed their contempt for females since the priests were likely homosexuals - as priests tend to be - because their calendar ends in 2012, this means that we will too. And now you know about the Mayan Calendar: stone-stackers; girl rapists and girl killers; and visionaries into the end of the earth's existence. Credentials for accuracy certainly enough for a VERY large percentage of of earthlings living today. But not enough for me.

The Masons

You knew it had to show up here sooner or later, right? The Masons is a "secret society" whose "secret" is that they have sex with other males. That whole "sacred apron" thing is a clear whopping clue. Grown men don't have "sacred aprons" unless the sacred apron is the only article of clothing used in the Final Rite. With the sacred apron as the sole article of clothing that means the buttocks are bare. And there ain't hot chicks in the audience tossing dollar bills so that means those butts are bare for some other reason. The enticement into the Masons is the same as the enticement into all "secret societies" - Super Powers. Keep in mind that these are guys who cannot get an erection unless it's in the presence of another penis. Ok? What the fuck kinda super powers are guys like this likely to be in possession of. Only one. The power to blackmail you. Period. That's the super powers. Super powers over YOU. Stupid. The diety of the Masons is Lucifer. Lucifer is an actual entity and he's their guy. They know it: I know it: and Lucifer knows it. But me and Lucifer are the only ones actually laughing about it. The Masons themselves, they are totally serious. Now, if you think the Masons are not Satanists, go into a Masonic "temple" with a political posterboard over your shoulder that has a depiction of Jesus on it, and while whistling Amazing Grace. See what happens to you. See if they greet you in a pleasant and courteous manner. They will probably slaver and drool actual drops of molten sulpher from their jaws in their fury to get you out of there. All "secret societies" attract acolytes via a combination of the acolyte's trust and the acolyte's avarice. When the satisfying of those two elemets starts to wear thin for one reason or another the acolyte is usually so far involved that he can safely be then kept there by fear. It's really all about fear, and the lie that the "secret society" has "powers." The only power they have is that the higher ups are even more fearful than the ones lower down so are even More Motivated to stay. And for them to stay means that YOU have to stay. Otherwise it all comes down if the secret gets out. You won't hear a lot of laughter at a Masonic Secret Ceremony. 'Cause there ain't nuthin' funny goin' on there. There ain't nuthin' goin' on in there but grief. Grief disguised as "super powers." And you know there ain't no super powers or these guys wouldn't look so ugly, so fat, and so fucking uncoordinated. You'll never see a pickup game of touch football from these guys. Just a pickup game of Sacred Apron Peekaboo. HOO-HOO!!

Prince Charles

Every bit as stupid as he is ugly, Prince Charles is undoubtedly the luckiest man in history. He has not one shred of ability in any arena and is about to become King-Of-England-In-Tandem with King Saud of Saudi Arabia. Since Prince Charles is an idiot that will make King Saud also King of England. And since England orders the United States around and has done so unabating since Colonial times that will make King Saud President of the United States. This will be no problem at all for the now "suddenly former" President Obama who will courteously step down and who basically blows Muslims for a living anyway, so nothing will change except his title. He will now officially be called "nigger." 'Cause King Saud won't give a fuck about him. King Saud will then tell the Americans that they must now become members of the official religion: Islam. The Americans will say ok. Out of fear. Since most of the people now in the United States aren't Americans anyway. Except for a few White diehards who will go down fighting. Meanwhile Prince Charles however will think he is still King of England. And he'll say goofy things to that horsefaced water closet he married and she'll blow King Saud too. King Saud's cock is on the verge of getting a lotta action from some powerful international mouths. Isn't global politics great? It's like an exclusive gay bathouse with a whorehouse facade. Meanwhile this will leave Israel alone against the world. This will eventually lead to Amageddon. This all could have been prevented if Prince Charles had had the brains of one of the turds that comes out of his gay fucking ass. Because as you may remember, he was married to the most popular woman in the galaxy; Diana Spencer. Diana Spencer was not only photogenic beyond belief, she was bashful AND the wife of the future King AND she could dance AND she had an ear for music. It was these last two "accomplishments" that spelled her ruin because Prince Charles has a tin ear, doesn't know an eighth note from a vagina, can't keep time with his toe anymore than he can say anything interesting, has NO musical ability, and is less fun than an underling manager of a supermarket. And so it is when his wife kept insisting upon being interesting and fun he decided that rather than use her to gain for England back Her global empire, he would make her life miserable and attempt to drive her mad. Because he is an idiot. Since HE wasn't going to make a fuss if she died, Queen Elizabeth and King Saud decided to solve a mutual problem they both had with her latest love interest. And now she's dead. Just an accident, you see. Thanks, Chuck. Thanks for Armageddon, stupid. I could have at least taught you to LOOK like you could dance and PRETEND you were having fun around music, but no: you had to throw that skank-skinny, shitshovel-ugly green-toothed pukebucket in your wife's face and tell her that THIS is what you consider hot: not the most popular chick in the galaxy. But rather this ass-faced troll. Jesus. You are one stupidass motherfucker. Speakin' o' which, creepyboy: what exactly IS the deal with you and that 90 year old weirdo.

The Saudis

The Saudis actually run this planet. They are every bit as devoted to Islamic crap as the fuckhead loser suicidal assholes who are used as human weapons but the Saudis are the ones who always reap the benefits. And, amazingly, they pretend to be on the side of the West. Why not? - the western "leaders" don't really give a shit if the Saudis reap the rewards, so long as the Saudis say all the right things and do all the right diplomatic dances at the right and appropriate times. Meanwhile the Saudis pay the Iranians and the Iraqis and the Lybians and the Syrians and the Palestinians and the other fuckhead Muslim shitholes to NOT jump through the Western hoops. And the other Muslim, dirtbag countries go "OK: You are Muslim so we like you: besides, you own Mecca, and if we can't get there we go to hell." If George Bush had had a brain he would have vaporized Mecca on Sept 12th, 2001. That would have shut every fucking Muslim piece of shit up forever. They would have gone into a stunned shock they would have never recovered from. They would have probably all just died on the spot from the damage to their universe of shit. But of course George Bush is a pawn of the Saudis too. We all are. George Bush is always blathering about the need for dictatorships to become "democracies." Except for England and Saudi Arabia, which are both monarchies. They're fine. It's just all the other one-ruler countries that have to, I dunno, do whatever George Bush says for them to do. Meanwhile these two ruthless monstrosities of chicanery have America fighting all their wars for them for the past 100 years and are still at it. and the dumbass bureaucrats here get a ride in a golden limo and say "Ok, sure, we'll keep you two idiots alive. We'll kill every fighting American we can train to keep you two folks viable and in charge." And England and the Saudis wink at each other, buttfuck quickly, and order another ride in a golden limo for another boy-loving queer American Senator and queer-in-training American Congressman.

Chunk O' Jesus Church

I'm thinkin' o' starting my own church. For the tax incentives if nothing else. Gonna call it "Chunk O' Jesus Christian Thing." I sorta prefer "chunks" o' Jesus but i figure that sounds a little too much like infected jizz. And I would hate to get this ministry off on the wrong foot. And eventually some wiseasses would start ridiculing it calling it "Chunks O' Jizzes." And who the fuck needs that: I'd like to keep it all very respectful and above board if at all possible.

Freeway Bum Sites

The Freeways around Los Angeles and vicinity used to be mini paradises for bums. Either social bums or solitary bums. I was never a social bum. I sort of am a solitary guy anyway and being a bum i saw no reason to change. All I really needed for company was cigarettes. And along the freeways there were long narrow vacationlands of thick shade, hand-planted forests, ample water from sprinklers, and the constant whish and whoosh of traffic REAL nearby to remind you that even though the world had pretty much ended for you it was still in high gear for everyone else, so that was good. I have always preferred vehicles to humans anyway. I never adhered to that "right of way for pedestrians" shit. That's just ass backwards. Even a legislator should be able to see that a pedestrian weighs a hundred and fifty pounds and bleeds and a car weighs 2,000 pounds and doesn't. You had your choice of forests in the freeway bum resorts. My favorites were the pepper tree forests. You could ascend them easily, for one thing, and that was always fun. They smelled good. They had lots of shade but let in lots of light too. They were just fun and very enjoyable trees. Some of the sections of freeway had what I called "jackoff flora." Kind of thick-but-negotiable growths that you could see out of but not see into. I always get boners alone in the wildnerness. There's nothing better than playing with a naked chick in the wildnerss. Or someplace that will pass for wildnerness. And if there's no naked chick and you're still in the wilderness the next fun thing to do then is jack off. Preferably as naked as possible. And these freeway forests of "jackoff flora" were perfect. It was impossible for the people in the cars to see in, and even people on foot on the street-side of the freeway would never - unless they were bums - even CONSIDER going in there. There was usually always fences for one thing and for another thing, most people are just unaware of stuff. Unless you stick it in their faces or spend 20 minutes getting their dull attention off whatever it is its on and onto what you WANT it to be on, they're usually oblivious to everything. Which is one of the main reasons nobody reads this: I spend no time at all in recruiting attention. If you stumble onto it, ok. Whatever. Who cares. In Los Angeles, since it's usually hot, the outdoors is never a problem to be in, and the freeway jungles would keep out the sunlight and provide shade, and even in the winter, it would be warmer in there than outside with the buildings. Periodically the jungles would get manicured and cleaned up. Sometimes if I would come across a particularly favorable place with trees and scenery I liked, if it was a mess I would police the place myself. Except the mattresses. I stayed away from those. I would never use them myself either. They gave me the creeps. It was like they were radiation, or something. I didn't look anywhere near as ruined as a bum as most of the bums did. Most of the bums were a mess. But most of them were also very meek. But some of them were crazed. It was hard to bluff the crazed ones. You had to really impress them with lunacy and your own creative aspects of dangerous degeneracy for them to either leave your vicinity or at least stay out of range. I never liked other bums around. At least not the male bums. The female bums would break your heart. Except for the killer ones. They were scarier than the killer DUDES. The best trees were the tamarisk trees. They cascaded whole hairdo's of whatever their "leaves" were down and all around. It was like being in a play-fort with those things surrounding you. But tamarisk freeway-gardens were very rare. There were none in the LA area and existed only off busy roadsides out in the more deserted areas. And you were always nervous inside there. Because not being around the freeways, and just being next to highways, was a lot more dangerous than being around and next-to the freeways.

Niggero

I asked a white person who informed me HE HAD A PROBLEM with me saying nigger if it would be ok if instead i said negro. He said HE PREFERRED that I would say "black" or African American but that negro would be ok. I said thank you. Then I said how about niggero. That's almost negro. He said it was mostly nigger. I said it was about fifty fifty. He said he didn't want me saying niggero. I just looked at him. Then I said nigger. He actually spat at me. Then I hit him in the center of his face with my fist, directly against the front of his nose and he became all electrified with pain and infuriated and half blind and then i hit him directly with my fist again just under his sternum so he One: couldn't breathe, and Two: still couldn't see. Then I waited to see what he would do next. He was still pissed but helpless. But I could sense his anger. So while he was still half bent from trying to breathe and worrying about the blood pouring from his nose i shoved his legs forward with my foot and pulled him backwards by his shirt and used a lot of follow-through so that he hit the ground too fast and too suddenly to stop the momentum of the back of his head from hitting the concrete. Which probably knocked him out. Once he was crashed to the ground and on his back I then kicked him in the ribs near his spine most likely cracking some. Then I walked away, feeling pretty good about things. I then saw a Negro and asked him if he minded that I used the word nigger. He said he didn't give a fuck what I did, that white people could all go to hell as far as he was concerned. I thanked him and went on my way. I still had spit on my face and was still all freaked out about it. I'll probably worry about Aids for the entire next week. Then I'll forget all about it.

My New T-Shirt

I had a t shirt made up that says "I Really Like Sarah Palin." I had myself photographed in it and emailed the picture to everyone I know. All the people I couldn't stand anyway now will have nothing to do with me. Relatives I detest now willingly avoid me. I haven't gotten one annoying call from them. When I wear it in front of "service personnel" they can't get me away from them fast enough. Service has improved immensely. I wore it at a Christian Sunday church service. About a hundred people started screaming aloud inside the room and carrying on something awful, but other than the noise and the name calling it all was perfectly harmless, although so many people became afraid of the screaming people that they asked me to leave. Or at least take the t-shirt off. Next time I encounter an exorcist who's having problems with certain cases I will suggest he place an "I Really Like Sarah Palin" t shirt onto the victim. The demon will either flee or the person will just explode. One or the other pro'bly. Either one would be cool to watch. It's amazing the effect she has on people. She's, like, fuckin' Jesus. Demons come outa the woodwork. I need ta take her around with me wherever I go. Save me a lotta time and effort getting to "really know" people. They'd either go "Oh, hello, Mrs. Palin" and offer their hand or they'd start spitting pumice and screaming in rage. Either way I'd have their number real quick and would never haffta turn my own spirit-check radar on even for a second! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

My Unorthodox View of Redemption

I don't think this is a very pious view of things but I have a hunch God didn't send Jesus because He loved humans but because He hates Lucifer. That sort of puts us in the middle of a feud that really has nothing to do with any of us, but for some reaason I gut no problem with that. I prefer a diety motivated by anger than one motivated by love. I don't care that I'm in the middle. But if I was Satan I would be infuriated that humans, the monkey people, who he spent a lot of attention of getting to get kicked out of Paradise by turning them into monkeys, they get a free ride back in if they just open their fuckin eyes and take a look at the situation. No wonder he spends so much sweat and effort tryin' to get them to not look at the situation and confusing them with meaningless crap and pseudo-solutions. HAHAHAHAHAHA Gotta hand it to the lyin' fucker. At least he ain't lazy. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

How America Has Advanced In 60 Years

When I was 3 and 4 and 6 we went back and forth from Boston to Los Angeles a lot. On route 66. We had Italian problems. We worked them out. A few weeks ago I took a road trip from Los Angeles to Austin. Route 66 was still visible in its original form off to the right, on occasions. Here is what has changed in America in 60 years: the road is a little bit wider. Reciprocating engines are also still inside the vehicle used to move you. Gasoline is also still the fuel. You also still cannot leave the road and scoot above the surface ten miles thataway to explore some fascinating piece of barren and uninhabited scenery. And it is also still barrren and fascinating and uninhabited. Because it is also still very hard to get there in a car. Even though at least you can go - legally - 30 miles an hour faster on that road. And you cannot get there to that interesting thing way over there off the road in an air vehicle because - even if there was such a thing - the FCC would not allow it. In private hangars and garages all over America are viable air buggies that will wisk you above the surface at 100 miles an hour with no problem that cannot be flown. It's against the law. Thanks government: keeping America stagnant, on the road, and in two dimensions, for over 60 years. And I can vouch for that from personal experience. Then, and now. Nothing has fucking changed. It's still fucked up and primitive. AND Obama is focused on you keeping an eye on that tire pressure for when gas goes to 10 dollars a gallon a week after he swears in. Which WILL LIKELY keep you from even using the primitive road. Welcome to the future of America. Don't you wish you weren't in it? You probably won't be if you're White. Or Christian. And definitely won't be if you're both. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Why No Nigger Stuff?

A lot of people are asking me why I ain't doing a lot of Obama-Muslim-Marxist bashing. Especially since the nigger's election to the Presidency is why this blog even exists. It's because he hasn't taken office yet. He is lying in wait and so am I. We will emerge together and at the same time. At the moment this blog serves little more than a clearing ground - getting rid of, early, anyone who is going to be upset by a lot of use of the word nigger. Which would be, 99% of them, White people. Figure THAT one out if you can. No wonder Mexicans and niggers insist White people are stupid. Hey, it's worse than that, niggers and Mexicans: they're fucking scared shitless cowards. If you two, and the Muslims, had any fucking brains you'd make your move now while White people are unified in denial and fear. You start goin' after 'em piecemeal, however, a little bloodletting here, a little slaughtering there, they'll eventually - maybe - rally, and become again the global warriors and rulers they rightfully are. Maybe. Maybe not. Most of them now weight 300 pounds. Fortunately for them, though, you niggers and Mexicans weigh even more. Ain't seen a lotta fat Muslims, though. Haffta say. Or Chinese. Or Japs. Or Africans. HAHA The funny thing about the Africans is that they're the same dimensions whether they're alive or whether they've been dead a couple of months. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Creationism

Creationism is the make believe science of a bizarre bunch of Satan worshippers who call themselves The Real Christians. The problem they have is with the language of Genesis. At least the English version. I doubt if these fucks have read any other-language versions. They take the human mind and do to it what the Muslims did to the World Trade Center Art Icons of Human History, only to the human mind, bringing it down in a cascade of dust and rubble and caustic aftermath. Their objective also seems to be the bringing down of Christianity. And that's what they are accomplishing. They are turning the world's best and most sensible religion into the world's worst and most idiotic. They insist their motives are noble. So did Lucifer in the Garden. However they don't even begin to hit their idiotic and malevolent stride until they get to Man - a creature they insist is so evil he had to be redeemed by a divine being...and yet who cannot be related to monkeys because he is so Noble and Godlike. Holy shit, talk about having your head up your own ass with a grenade taped to your skull. These fuckers make Islam look like a brilliant monument to common sense. Still, Islam has the Creationists beat in the savage butchery department. So the C-sters have a lotta catching up to do to become a world-class player in the Fucked Up Religions game.

Why Christianity is the Best Religion

Christianity teaches that some guy came along and took responsibility for your behavior. And that you can now do what you want. Free of guilt. Both here on earth, and also in some future location to be announced. Even if it ain't fucking true who wouldn't sign onto that? And as far as RIDICULING it? Jesus Fucking Christ, you gotta be fucking nuts ta do that. Or worse.

Question of the Day

You think that if Jesus sounded like Jackie Mason anyone woulda paid any attention to him?

Christmas Cards and Men

I have never sent a Christmas card to a man. I have never RECEIVED a Christmas card from a man. If I ever DID receive a Christmas card from a man I would have to either blow HIS brains out or blow my OWN brains out. NO MAN has ever sent a Christmas card to another man. Except fags of course. They are not part of this discussion. No man has ever sent a Christmas card to another man. It is only women who do this. They make their husbands sign them. Which we do: why not, who gives a fuck. Now, I send Christmas cards to WOMEN. But not to be nice. But to let them know that I am sensitive and caring and maybe set them up for a free gander at their tits someday. Of course this never happens. But I can assure you that if a man sends a Christmas card to a female, that is the underlyiing motive. Not because it's fucking Christmas. Turns out that this whole Christmas BULLSHIT is generated by women. Not by men. We just don't give a fuck. Not about Christmas, not about Jesus, not about peace and fellowship and harmony and love. This is all women putting men up to this shit. And so we do it. It ain't THAT hard, and why make a fuss, no one else is. Save the fury for something a little more crucial, throw the chicks a bone on this one. Except this is a pretty big fucking bone we decided to toss. This is a fucking mastadon femur. We men are all douchebags. Even the ones that think they ain't. You are. We all are. This whole Christmas Nightmare is just us men admitting we are all douchebags. Now FAGS - who ironically enough are all atheists - they LOVE all this Christmas shit because, well, THEY'RE WOMEN. I guess women really do keep all the stores open. Too bad they don't have a little more class about where they shop. Be a lot less Targets and Walmarts.

Pink Floyd's Dick

That fucker Dennis Ousley just emailed me and said "I'm watching some tv show. Guy puts on some cologne and some chick comes in and sniffs and makes a face and says 'What IS that, it smells like Pink Floyd's dick in here,'" He then went on to say that he can't stop laughing at it even though it makes no sense. Getting Ousley to laugh unless there's a train going off a trestle and down into a ravine a thousand feet below in an uncharted wilderness in the dead of midnight with 500 people on board is damn near impossible. I emailed back "That makes no fucking sense. Pink Floyd is a fucking band. It don't have a dick. The band members might have dicks but then that amounts to saying that it smells like a half dozen penises in the room. Which makes even LESS sense." I told him I was actually starting to get pissed. He emailed back he was still laughing so hard he hurt all over. I said just for the hell of it I was going to say things smelled or tasted or looked like Pink Floyd's dick all day long. "....And is everything all right at this table, sir?..." "Well, the eggs taste a little like Pink Floyd's dick, but, yeah, everything's fine." Or "...Does this dress make me look fat?" "No, it just makes you look a little like Pink Floyd's dick, but other than that' it's fine." "Hello, JJ speaking: could you speak up please, you sound like Pink Floyd's dick." Or "Good morning sir, I hope we're not interrupting, we're going from door to door hoping to make people more aware of the Bible." "The Bible you say? Oh, yes!...I was just reading about the Bible in Pink Floyd's Dick." "Excuse me?" "Pink Floyd's Dick. I think it comes right after Deuteronomy." "Excuse me?" "Are you at all familiar with Pink Floyd's Dick?" ".....no....." "May I show you some literature? It's only 25 cents." "And what is that for again?...." "Pink Floyd's Dick." Now I'm pissed off all over again.

The Sarah Palin Effect

The Sarah Palin Effect is - I have noticed - exactly the same effect possessed-people have when the name Jesus is mentioned around them. Total out of control enragement. I'm pretty good at peggin' people. And I have no explanation for this. She seems ok to me. She seems really honest and straightforwad and talented. And really really cute. And good with a hunting rifle. And likes men. Maybe that's the problem: she ain't queer. Whatever it is, it just completely mystifies me. And I am astoundingly politically acute. And adept. And able to see what's REALLY going on. If ya know what I mean, uh?, wink wink, nudge nudge, ey? But this Sarah Palin hatred really stumps me. I ain't a dummocrap or a pre-pube-lickin, or anything else. I think they all suck. But I can't see what WRONG with Sarah Palin. I mean, what's there to hate? So if anyone the fuck knows, clue me in so I can hate her too. Thanks. I mean, who knows, she might have it comin'. Thanks again.

Bill Maher

Bill Maher is the first person in my lifetime that I have applied the word "fool" to. He's classic. He's like a happy buffoon rejoicing in his own preposterousness and mistaking his goony "observations" for "acute awareness." It's a really big mistake to MAKE. What sets him apart from, say, a "comedian," is that One: what he says is never funny. No one has EVER laughed at anything Bill Maher has EVER said. In fact it is very difficult to even audibly register what he says because his face is so misshapen and grotesque that it hypnotizes you into deafness, you're so fixated on it. He may be actually homlier than Lafayette Ronald Hubbard. With none of the charm or ability to be oddly interesting. Two: what he says, while opinionated, to Bill the Fool, it's also manic. He not only has "opinions," they are like the opinions of the paranoid - desperate and filled with personal fear. Except he does not seem to have the personal fear of the paranoid. He has the snarling hatred of Lucifer. Now, I too have the snarling hatred of Lucifer. But there is a difference between me and Bill Maher. I have the snarling hatred of Lucifer AT Lucifer. He has the snarling hatred of Lucifer at GOD. Big difference: two different beings; two different agendas. Of course Bill Maher's wrath is directed at a PARTICULAR god. His own Jew God, Yahweh. Bill Maher is like a lot of mother fucking Jews who hate Yahweh except that in Bill's case, he has none of the usual intelligence these sorts of people carry around. He in fact has VERY LITTLE intelligence. Among Jews, and as Jews go, and particulary regarding Jews who hate Yahweh - Bill Maher is in the bottom one percentile of IQ's among Yahweh-hating Jews. Still, he is not brain damaged or retarded or moronic or stupid or dumb or brain DEAD: he's just an ordinary schlub with the opinion-level of a guy in Chilis drinking a beer and fascinated by the football game on the screen: kind of a doofus; but with the intensity and passion of a genuinely intelligent man with a mission. Except he has no particular detectable intelligence. Which he would be shocked to hear anyone say. Because Bill Maher is convinced he is a bright guy. He so isn't. He's like a first year Jr. college student who never moved on to a new level - which would be the level past the first-year "wondrous immersion into a new world of ideas" which is where first-year Jr. college kids think they are. And all of this adds up and combines itself into him being a fool. The first and only one I have ever actually ever seen. In my whole life. He's the only actual fool. He has a PARTICULARLY hostile energy level toward the Roman Catholic Church! He ain't even a fucking Catholic! He's a fucking Jew! So what the fuck is THAT all about. The Catholic Church takes crap from Jews only up to a point. Then they start exterminating them. He needs to pick a fucking meeker target. I TOLD you he was a fool.

Jewsus of Nazareth

In honor of Christmas 2008, a week away, I would like to present the Christmas Story. The story of Jesus, King of the Jews. The angel Gabriel appeared to Mary. "You are very special. We would like you to become the mother of God." Mary said, "Vat, you tink I vas bawn yestiddy? Ha: dis is da Messiah vee is diskossink hee. You vant me fa dis, it's gonna cost ya." The angel said "We will take care of everything, you can relax. You're compted the whole way. All we ask is that you do what we say." Mary said, "Ya kidding, right? Dis is an oppitoonity hee. Vat, you tink I vas born yestiddy? You musta picked me fa a reason. I'm tinkin it's because I am not a monkey like the rest of the people around here. Already I get da pictcha. Yahweh is the Dad of dis kid, i can see dat, I gut two eyes, I ain't blind. Dis is a big deal. King of the Jews heah. Already I can see there's gonna need ta be a fake dad. I gut just the guy. Oy, vat a chunk of man dis is. Looks like David Duchoveny." The angel says "We have picked Joseph." Mary loses it. "Joseph! He's barely alive!! He looks like Ed Wynn!! He's duller than Red Buttons! And, oy, he's more annoying than Sam Jaffee. And you know what his last name is? SCHICKELGRUPER!! AND he takes Viagra every ten minutes, AND it still does nothing, AND even if it did his dick's the size of a peanut. Don't ask how I know. I hear things. It's a small town here, you must know that, you found me, right?" The angel says, "Look: do not fuck with me. I'm an angel. I can annihilate you so completely your parents won't even remember you ever existed, that's how gone you'll be. Just do what we say." "Okokokokokokok. Jesus." The angel goes back outside and Raphael and Michael are standing there. So is Lucifer. Michael says "How'd it go in there?" Gabriel says, "She's a handful. Very annoying. Her DNA in this kid COULD be a mistake. WHO'S idea was this????" "Yahweh's." "Ok, ok, Whatever. What are YOU doing here, Lucy?" "Don't call me that." "LucyLucyLucy!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!" "You fucking shit. Real brave when Mike's around." "Just tell me why you're here, asshole." "Just tryin' ta figure out what the fuck's goin' on, is all. See what you pricks are up to." Meanwhile word gets out Mary's pregnant. So eventually Jesus gets born. Three kings show up and bring presents. "Vat's dis?" Joseph askes them, pointing to the stuff. "Gold, frankincense, and myrrh" they respond. Joseph says "Da golt is good. Dat I can use. But vat is dis Frankenstein shit? I nevah hoid uv dat, vat iss dat. And Moiah??" "Myrrh." "Moiah?...DAT I gut no ideah vat dat iss. Vat, you couldn't bring some nice food? Some FOOD would be nice. Holy crap, you see any food heah? Oy, vee came by goddamn DONKEY 300 miles, fa gawd's sake, ve gut no food left. Sure, it's on-the-hoof. It's a stable. But what am I, da butcher? I'm a cahpentah. You like dis manger? I made it myself, almost from nuttink. I'm good, I tell ya. Feel dat. Cherry wood. You can't get dat heah. Jewsus, the new kid, he done it. Made it appeah. Don't ask me how. If I knew we'd be on the road, doing the Catskills " The infant Jesus immediately changes the gold and frankincense and myrrh to delicious middle eastern kosher treats; some nice fruit, some Mogen David, some delicious schaav, some hot matsoball soup, bagels, lox, cream cheese: a really nice spread. Joseph goes berserk. "NOT DA GOLT YOU IDIOT! DA GOLT VEE CAN USE! DA FRANKENPOOP AND DEH MOIAH? i DON'T EVEN KNOW VAT DAT ISS. SO IT'S NO BIG DEAL IT'S GONE. BUT DA GOLT? NOW IT'S SOUP. HOW WE GONNA PAY FA DIS SHITTY ROOM MIT ZOOP!!!" The shepherds show up. They look inside. They start to enter the stable. Joseph shouts "HOLD ON! Vat you vant!" One of the shepherds says "The sky filled with angels all singing and said to come here, that the savior of mankind was just born in here." Joseph said "You bring tings?" One of the shepherds said "What do you mean, 'tings.'" "You know, Freebies. Lookit dese kings of the From God Kows Where here. Dey had the DECENCY to bring tings. Some MANNERS vee are talkin' here. So: whattaya gat. And not sheepshit either. I gut dat in here already. Oy, it stinks in here." The shepherds said "We have nothing. Only a wish to see the savior." "Ha." Joseph said, shooing them away and out the door. "I haf no time for your cheapass shennanigans. Come back when you have..." and touching the side of his nose over and over and winking angrily "some manners. Kapeesh? Wet my beak a little, ok??? Den ve'll talk." The shepherds left and went back to their hillsides, looking back at the stable from time to time and frowning. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!