Movie Review: The Dark Knight

Pretty fuckin' empty. Except for fifteen total seconds when Batman has a really cool vision device. Other than that, you wait 2 and a half hours for the movie to start. It never fucking does. Then it ends. And you sit through the credits 'cause at least the music's pretty ok. Movie reviews ain't too bad when a goddamn fuckin fag ain't doin' 'em, right? If I was a fag this review would have been a glowing tribute to god only knows what for another 3,000 words. Like every fucking other review of this movie I read. Mine is the only accurate one. I know: I read them all. Nothing happens in it. Lotsa talk. Harvey Dent. Who gives a shit. Batman's ugly girlfriend. Who gives a shit. Does she really love Batman?...or does she really love Harvey Dent. Who gives a shit. She loves Batman. And she dies. And who gives a shit. Batman and Dent give a shit. They both love a homely no-titted skag dullard with bags under her eyes. She dies. Harvey Dent dies. The Joker, we think he was captured. Batman is declared the real villain by the elected officials for some weird reason we are supposed to understand and the townspeople who are all wonderful, just like the felons in prison, because they did not kill each other because they chose self sacrifice instead of not self sacrifice Jesus Fucking Christ who the fuck knows it just went on and on and on with the smaltz and the crap and the fucking joker, Jesus Christ, even the comic book crowd hates the Joker because he's boring. Fuck. It was just awful. And it got the greatest reviews in movie history from every fag reviewer in America. Please tell the Muslims and the Scientologists I wish to be destroyed now. Thank you.