Sunday, September 25, 2011

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Nancy Grace

Nancy Grace will be debuting on Dancing With The Stars in two days and today on TMZ i saw her doing the cha cha in the TMZ offices and doing the cha cha correctly and with vibrant enthusiasm. This has so depressed me that I have fled from Facebook in shame. I have spent the last two weeks predicting that she will be a calamity on the scale of a gigantic flow of molten magma across America. And now it looks like she could actually win the contest. She has the right attitude, she is immune to abuse, she lets ridicule bounce right off her and worst of all there is actually nothing to actually ridicule about her ability. Naturally this has depressed me more than the landing at Normandy depressed Hitler. It has left me doubting my own sanity. I have been defeated by Nancy Grace. If there is a lower rung of hell to be dangling by your fingers on I don't know of it. The terrorists have won.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Jimmy Hoffa Jewnyer

Apparently Jimmy Hoffa Jr. forgot that Jimmy Hoffa Sr. disappeared because of his big mouth. I guess he thinks that the people that killed his dad will now give him, Jimmy Jr. a lifelong break to say anything he wants. I guess they think he is now a cutie pie as far as the Mob is concerned. Hey, Jimmy; everyone is a cutie pie to the Mob until they decide you gotta go cause you suddenly aint a cutie pie no more. Jimmy Junior was all Tony Soprano - a mythical, make believe individual created by members of the Writers Guild - he was all Tony Soprano today at a pro sock monkey rally inhabited by Teamsters. Who Jimmy Hoffa thinks own tanks and not trucks, apparently. He called on his Teamster "army" to take people like me out. You know, Jimmy, if you are going to tell people to take me out you need to tell them in secret. So I don't see it coming. Now I see it coming and I intend to not let it happen. In fact I think a court of law would see you as putting me into a position of potential self defense. I guess you think everyone is as afraid of you as your dog and your wife and your kids. Your dog and your wife and your kids are probably idiots, Jimmy. That's why they are afraid of you. But I aint a idiot like them. I think you're just a big fat blowhard who doesnt know when to shut the fuck up. You aint where you are because you are a bright guy. You are where you are because you are the son of a bright guy and have his same name. Keep in mind that your bright guy dad, while a lot smarter than you still wasnt smart enough to keep from getting himself killed because of his big yap. And he didn't piss off near as many people in his whole lifetime as you did in five minutes yesterday. Stew on that tonight, you putz halfjew.