In All Fairness To Scientology

In all fairness to Scientology, a lot of people use as a weapon against them the "improperly released" news about Xenu and him being the evil galactic ruler who imprisoned souls and blew them up and used volcanoes and h bombs and now they are attatched to us and holding us back from our rightful superpowers and so on and so forth. The argument goes that this is a silly story because it didnt happen. These same people say the Bible DID happen. Which also has weird, not everyday, shit in it. So why is the Xenu stuff any weirder than the Jehova stuff? Or the Lucifer stuff? Or the Moses stuff? Or the Elijah stuff? Why is it WEIRDER stuff? it's just DIFFERENT stuff. So criticizing Scientology for the Xenu Incident is ridiculous. Especially IF IT ACTUALLY EXPLAINS WHY PEOPLE ARE FUCKED UP. Assuming people actually are fucked up. And not just monkeys and apes and ass-scratching primates doing their ass-scratching thing. Which would be a very simple and uncomplicated, and by just looking around for a minute a probably very accurate assessment and not at all profound or mystical or holy or subtle or confusing or deep. Just monkeys being monkeys. Full of mischief. Full of meanness. Full of noise. Full of shit. Full of murder. Full of deceipt. Full of avarice. Full of theft. And liking to eat, drink, masturbate, fuck, masturbate, play with our cocks and balls, ejaculate, and go fast. Pretty simple monkey animal stuff. With no "higher purpose" in evidence anywhere in the extremely messy, bloody, dirty, feces-strewn, piss-filled, puke-reeking, monkeys-simply-being-monkeys picture. That we're here, to Just, let's say it again, eat, drink, masturbate, fuck, masturbate, play with our cocks and balls, ejaculate, and go fast. Pretty simple. Pretty basic. Pretty easy. Not at all weird. Not at all esoteric. Not at all hard. Except during periods of boners. Burma Shave.