Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Aretha Franklin

Some fucking music poll award judgement survey ouija think tank somethingorother declared Aretha Franklin "the greatest singer in history." I just saw her singing on Dancing With The Stars tonight and she looked like a twenty foot high pile of horseshit, she was off key more than she was on, she sang two of her "greatest" hits and they were just as fucking lame and worthless 300 years later as they were when she first sang them on the plantation that Sherman was burning and I said to myself, watching this hippo, this suet bucket, this mastadon of flowing and billowing blubber in a vocal fartstorm ripping the threads out of the canvas and walrus circus tent she was wearing, this obese, miserable pile of cesspool sludge stacked high and wide and deep with fresh hot lard that was somehow resisting the force of gravity that wanted to pull her either to the center of the earth or else into a flat pool of sweaty dung 300 feet in circumference on the stage, and I said to myself, looking at this
barreltitted behemouth belting out horsebales of really bad music, I said to myself, "I bet not one person will say to her when she's done 'You gotta be the luckiest broad alive having made a living singing miserable crap like that.'" No, they'll all say "That was fantastic, Miss Franklin, and you LOOK GREAT!"

The Buzz

I hear Obama's Muslim buddies are harassing anyone who blogs or prints anything critical of Obama. They threaten to get the FBI after them. HAHAHAHAHA. FBI agents are kinda dumb but they ain't Muslims. They're Americans. Unlike that fucking nigger muslim fag who just got elected to the black house. But I hear the Jew journaists are all caving in. But ya know, Jews are like that. You tell them to take their clothes off and get in line, they'll do it. "Vee dun vant no trubble," they'll say as the guards open the chamber doors and gesture them in with a smile.

Fun With Catholicism

I used to be a Catholic. According to Catholicity you can never STOP being a Catholic, God is well aware that you were "Baptised Catholic" and He can see by the trademark that gets left on your soul at this incident that you are now a Catholic and so you are bound by all the rules. And if you quit doing the rules, when you see God after you are no longer alive and after your eyes have rotted, when you see God in your deceased state He is going to see that mark on your soul and then look in His log and see that you "quit" being a Catholic for a while. OR SO YOU THOUGHT! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! So anyway when I was a child in the first grade they taught us all a prayer. A prayer to our guardian angel. There was a section of this short prayer that i never understood. Probably nobody did. Because now, in my adulthood, I just got SENT this prayer on a little card from some Catholic outfit wanting me to send them money so they can make more Catholics. Why would I encourage that ambition, I am tempted to ask them. Anyway the prayer is there on the card and I will put it here for you. Maybe you can tell me what the fuck is being said. It goes " Angel of God/ my guardian dear/ to whom His love/ commits me here/ ever this day/ be at my side/ to light and guard/ to rule and guide." Burma Shave. Here's the part I can't decipher or translate or get any kind of meaning out of: "to whom His love commits me here". I can't translate that into anything even vaguely meaningful. I almost can't even make nonsense out of it. Anyone who can please feel free to submit your interpretation. It would mean a lot to baby Catholics everywhre I am sure. On behalf of the Pope in advance, thank you.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Inexplicably Famous People

This will be an ongoing, ever expanding list of people who - completely devoid of any discernable talent, ability, or capacity to generate even the smallest measure of social, human, academic, forensic interest, or even marginal zoological curiosity - are nonetheless astoundingly successful at being employed at astounding salaries in the entertainment industry despite not having even one shred, iota, angstrom, atom or quark of entertainment value. This list includes to date Jimmy Kimmel, Adam Sandler, Red Buttons, Ed Wynn, Dave Attell - gee, all comedians so far - that's kinda weird. Well, I shouldn't say they are all comedians. Since not one of them ever made even one person ever laugh. Which is not that hard to do: to make someone laugh. But these five dullards never accomplished it. And yet they are, or were, right at the top of celebrityville. For being TALENTED. Shit, Red Buttons even won an Oscar. And not for being funny either. For being a pathetic loser. Why was THAT a stretch. On the other hand he would have won the same Oscar if the part had been a comedian. He would have won it for being a pathetic loser. He was just so good at it. Ed Wynn was beyond pathetic. He made Minnie Pearl look like Henny Youngman. He too achieved dramatic fame playing a pathetic loser in Requiem For A Heavyweight. He did not have to act to do that. Of course no one struggled harder and to poorer effect to try and wrench a laugh out of a normal audience with terrifyingly wretched material than doodles Weaver. On the other hand he was not exactly inexplicably famous. He was just inexplicably known. Well, enough about comedians let's have some news. Paul Moyer. Year after year, decade after decade, century after century Paul Moyer takes on more and more tenure from NBC with the worst delivery of telepromted material in the history of the known universe. Steve Edwards of the Los Angeles morning show with Whatsername Barbierri - he has not one interesting quality and now even has grey stubble on his unjustifiably cheery face and yet he has not been out of an on-the-air job in television for 50 years. He was abysmally strange then and he is abysmally strange now. He has not lost or gained ground in strangeness. He is at his eternal level of it. Apparently for eternity. And his good fortune keeps increasing, he now has two hot co anchors and is the least interesting of the three - by far - and probably gets ten times their salaries.

People That Didn't Vote

I voted for the first time in 30 years to try and keep the nigger out of office and keep the USA from getting nuked by Islam but it didnt work. And you DO know that the muslim president is arranging a strike against America right now with that sandnigger pal of his in Iran and those other sandniggers the Feds are convinced like us, the Saudis, along with the Chinese and that calculating focused piece of inhuman body parts and metal gears, Putin The Cherry-Buster and Fuk Yu Jo in Korea, right? Naa, you probly dont. Cuz yer an idiot. Getting back to the topic, I guess niggers wanted the nigger in office more than white people wanted the white guy in office. If niggers are rushing to the polls, you have to stop and step back and wonder if there might not be something inherently stupid and idiotic about voting. It could be all the intelligent people stayed home and figured "why participate in my own destruction." I kinda feel bad about voting now. Sorry white people. I let you down. I voted. It wont happen again. Fuck democracy if my vote is only worth what everyone else's vote is worth. HAHA talk about fucked up!! No wonder democracy is destroying the world. Cause it's a bad idea! "Oh, well it's better than what anyone has come up with so far." HAHAHA - NAWW I DONT THINK SO!!!! Fukkin idiots. Fuck you all.

Ceo's and Congress compared

Anyone notice that CEO's and members of the Senate and Congress get huge rewards for fucking up their businesses and their offices respectively? That's because Ceo's work for "corporations;" a legal entity created by Congress to enable them to - like congress - stay in business without actually providing a good or a service. Through the process of socialization of the country fewer and fewer individual companies exist. Eventually there will be one company, and one government. Then guess what there will eventually be. One government. Then guess what there will eventually be. Nothing. Future looks good for America. Go New Nigger!!

My Script

Every fuckhead on earth's writing a script, right? My script is another Star Wars sequel. I sure hope no one steals it. Putting scripts on the internet is highly not recommended because Hollywood will steal them. Because internet scripts are all so good. My Star Wars sequal is about Darth Batorius, an evil Sith. His acolyte calls him Master Batorius. That's all I have so far. Except for one line of dialogue. Like all Siths and most Jedi's, Master Batorius has a hand and forearm missing. It just goes with the territory. He has an artificial arm farmed out to a limb-guy. Master Batorius' apprentice goes to the arm shop to see what the hold up is on the thing. The mechanic tells him it aint ready. The apprentice says "My Master Batorius' hand job is a long time coming." Like I say, anyone steals this there's gonna be real trouble.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

An Equal Opportunity Hater

My buddy Dennis assures me that the new nigger hates niggers just as much as he hates whitey. So I THINK that's reassuring. In a strange weird way. The way things always are when niggers are involved. Strange and weird, I mean. Not necessarily reassuring. In fact not EVER reassuring, thinkin' on it.

Now That There's A Nigger

Now that there's a fucking nigger president i guess we can stop feeling sorry for the fucking niggers for all the oppression they underwent. Now we whites can leech offa them for a couple hundred years and piss and moan about inequality. Oh wait: we dont do that. Well, maybe we can at least sit back and go on welfare and let the niggers solve the world's problems for a while. Like they're doing in Africa, for instance. THAT'll be fun. They cleaned and straightened that continent right up once we gave it back to them. It's swell there now.

The Periodic Blog Reminder

Once in a while I insert a brief reminder of why this blog exists. It exists because that fucking Muslim nigger commie Marxist revolutionary Obama won the election. And no other reason. That's the sole motivator. Otherwise I would be using the time here doing what I prefer to do on the internet, watch porn. And, oh, man, porn on the internet gets better all the time. But the blog; it's really all about that creepy, purple gummed Palestinian-lipped nigger. And me fighting him the only way I so far legally can. It's about nothing else. But, whatdafuck, sometimes I get sidetracked. Whatta you care: you ain't even readin' this. So dont worry about it.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Adam, Eve, and Us

All Christians now living have been lied to. By other Christians. About Christianity. We, you and me, are not made in the image and likeless of God. Adam was. Eve was cloned from Adam so she was damn near as Godlike. But Adam and Eve lost their Godlike qualities. By fucking animals. Primates, probably. Primates genetically close to Adam and Eve but worlds apart in power and glory. So, Adam and Eve created Us. Not God. We are products of Adam. And Eve. And they were fucking messes. Not at first. But after Lucifer got done with them, fuckin, lookout. So we are not made in the image and likeness of God. Adam was. We are made in the image and likeness of Adam. And Adam was a total asshole par excell-awnce. For instance, after he fucked the Neanderthal chick God came by and Adam hid. Does this sound like Godlike behavior? Hiding? No. It sounds like human behavior. God had to call him. God knew where he was. But he was testing him. To see how fucked up he was. You see the Test wasnt to see if Adam would "eat the apple" - or in other words, fuck the Neanderthals. No the test was Multi Faceted. Ok, Adam fucked the hot monkey chick. Maybe she had nice tits. God made the tits. Maybe God figured He'd cut Adam some slack. Let's take a wait-and-see position on the thing. So he calls Adam. Adam's fucking hiding. God calls him again and practically stands on his foot. Adam figures he's cornered so he comes out. God says, "How come you waited to come out?" Like God doesn't know why. It's more of the test. So far Adam has failed twice. He ate the fruit: then he hid when the boss showed up. Adam comes out. He says he was reluctant to come out because he was naked. A lie. Another failed test. That wasn't why he was hiding. That's just something he came up with. God said "How is it you know what naked even is? When I made you you were just you. Now you're "naked you"? What gives? You couldn't know that unless all of a sudden you knew right from wrong. Or at least knew there was these things, right and wrong. You must have eaten the forbidden fruit. Adam says "She told me to." He blames a chick. REALLY big fucking Failing Mark here. He doesnt take the blame himself. Nope. No gallantry in THAT fucker. He blames Eve. Then to even further distance himself from any blame he reminds God "Oh, and don't forget, you created her. I didnt put her here. You put her here. You decided I needed a companion. You didnt ask me. You just went ahead and made HER. PLUS you made her defective. She won't listen. AND she's obviously a fucking troublemaker: first thing she does outa the gate is eat the apple. The one thing you told her NOT to do. Probly stuck that serpent up her twat too. Ask her that. Ask her if she fucked the snake." Adam's blowin' it all over the place. By this time God's fucking furious. I woulda been too. Bam: Adam's outa there and with a whole new boatload of travail: he traded ten million cool godlike aspects for one new really weird, almost kinda annoying one; knowing good from evil. So then Adam and Eve started fucking each other and also fucking the Neanderthals and there was all this in-breeding, and Adam and Eve's children became giants and the half breeds became sort of us, and then God just killed everyone except some of the half breed humans. So that's why we're fucked up. We're kinda hybrids. Animal hybrids. We ain't in the image and likeness of God. We're in the image and likeness of ADAM'S god: Lucifer. Lucifer is who Adam obeyed. some dumbfuck lyin' Muslim-like just fucking piece of shit. Lucifer is who Adam put his faith and trust in. Which brings us to Obama. But I see I'm out of time. Until next time, remember: anger is an energy; it gives you focus; it makes you stronger. Burma Shave.

Some New Fucking Las Vegas Hotels fa crise sakes

Sooner or later the Italian that runs Las Vegas is going to visit this blog in order to better educate himself to the subtleties of life and it is to him I wish to speak. During the next round of hotel demolitions on the Strip I hope you'll consult me before you decide on any new "themes." - or ya know if you do some more new ones off the Strip too: can ya try and make 'em a little more sane? I mean, look at the Rio, that's sane. Can you see it over there? It's not even on the Strip; and it's not themed like a fuckin fairy's underwear-drawer and it's doing just fine. I suppose you know that, since you're the guy that put it there. But some o' these themed hotels, i mean they are from right out of a fuckin third-grade coloring book, jesus tap dancing christ, have a fuckin heart, it's fuckin' grown ups going to these things, ya know? Not fuckin' Disney's Reetards. Ok, first of all, this New York New York crap and this France crap and this Venice crap, and this Excalibur crap: they're pretty fucking lame. They're almost fucking GAY, my friend. No, I ain't callin' YOU gay. I'm just sayin' you gut someone on your staff makin' some pretty goddamn fuckin faggyass motherfuckin queerbait fucking dick-deep-into-a-man's-stinky-hairy-asshole decisions, ya know what I mean? What the fuck is next, the fucking Kirov Ballet Hotel and Fucking Tutufest Fucking Hotel and Casino?? The fuckin' Crossdressers Hotel and Casino? The goddamn Crotch-Thrusters Waggelly Testicle Tube-Tonsled Anus Stetched Jizz Compartment Cock Suckers Theme Hotel and Scrotum Yankers Casino? HUH??? YOU FUKKIN LISSINEN TA ME YOU FUKKIN PRICK!!!??? Sorry. I got excited. Whattaya want from me, uh? I'm Italian. What's inside comes outside, I can't help it. All that "prick" stuff, it's nuthin' personal. Ya know my friend, I fawkkin fugot where the I wuz in this conversation. Lemme relax an' start over. Why don't you next time put up something Gothic, ya know? something fucking cool. Something cooler than what a fucking reetard on the small yellow bus would giggle about. Like maybe the H.R. Giger Hotel and Casino. The H.P. Lovecraft Sunken Dungeon and Casino. Or even that fucking motherfucker Lucas with his fucking space fucks: The Star Wars Universe and Casino. With, ya know, the Star Wars Bar and the Sith Lounge and whatdafuck, you figure it out, ok? Enough with the fucking motherfucking France, fa crise sake. Have a fuckin' clue. It's the 21st fucking century. There's a nigger President in the White House. Oh, shit, that's right. Forget the whole thing, that nigger's probly gonna demand that the next hotel be the fucking Farrakan Chicken Fry and Jew Oven. Fagettit. Sorry ta fukkin bothuh ya.

Friday, November 14, 2008

There's Never Been A War In A Lawless Land

Amazing but true. Individual scuffles, yes. Wars, no. That's why laws always come to lawless lands. To end the peace and calm.

Obama as FDR

The present cover of Time magazine has a picture of The New Nigger in the garb and pose of a famous FDR photo. The title is "The NEW New Deal." Time magazine is on the right track but Obama is going to make FDR look like a piker at Socialism. He'll make Lenin look like a beginner. He'll make Mau look reverential for Life. Obama is not just a commie, he's a commie MUSLIM.
Instead of a new deal its going to be a new religion. A religion that makes Naziism look laissez faire. We are so fucked. And fuck you if you think we're not. You dumbass piece of fuck. I hope you're the first one he beheads. But you probly won't be. You'll fold and deny your Christianity immediately. You'll put on a Muslim gunnysack in a heartbeat. Just so you can continue to HAVE a heartbeat. Go away, you make me sick, you fuckin' piece of worthless fuck. Thank you. For going away. Not for being a fucking piece of worthless fuck.

The Kaaba

You may have wondered what that thing is in Mecca that the fucking Muslims parade around for dear life. That thing is the Kaaba. It's a building covered in a cloth. It's scary, no? Of course it is. Everything in Islam is scary. Especially the followers. The building is special because of something in the outside corner of it. Know what it is? It's a meteorite. Yes, that's right. It's a meteorite that the people Mohammed The Jew converted to Islam used to worship for a thousand years before Mohammed The Jew showed up. He decided that he would leave the stone because - well he just decided to. And why not: he decided to rewrite the bible and then insist the bible was the wrong version and his version was the right one: why not leave the meteorite alone? So he did. And that's what all those fucking monsters parade around in their OCD-requirement in order to get stuff after they have rotted into dust. You wonder maybe why I call Mohammed "Mohammed The Jew." Because I figure it is a pretty good bet that he was one. I'm good at figuring people. And I think I gut that Mohammed The Jew bastard figured out pretty good. It ain't too hard, I spent a lot of years in retail and can get a bead on psychos, the demonic, losers, liars, fuckheads, normal people, superior people, and well, just everyone, pretty fuckin quick. It's just sort of what I can do. Like tap dancing. Which I can also do. And I gut a bead on you, too. That's why you're mentioned in the title of this blog! It's cause I gut yer fukkin number! That SHOULDN'T make you nervous. Unless you gut a problem you hope I don't see. But I see it. Don't worry, you ain't the only one I ever seen it in. To get back to Mohammed The Jew, I can slot people pretty quick and pretty accurately. I mean there AIN'T that many varieties. It ain't as though the personality and behavioral and ethical and intelligence status of people is that fucking VARIED. And I gut Mohammed pegged as a Jew. He fits the profile of "Jews who monumentally affected history." And they would be Jesus, Paul of Tarsus, Mohammed, Marx, and Hitler. See?....easy. Anyway the important thing here right now is that you now know what the Kaaba is. It's a meteorite paid homage to by the people who flew planes and passengers into the greatest contruction in human history, the World Trade Center buildings. If George Bush had had any balls or intelligence, which he does not, he would have made the destruction of the fucking Kaaba the first thing in Muslimland to get vaporized, not some fucking horse trough in Iraq.

The Apple Store

I went into an Apple Store yesterday. The one in Pasadena. I went in with a computer guy so that I could get an ipod. I have a real good understanding of porn but a sketchy understanding of computer tech so I brought a techy with me. It's a good thing I did. The employees at the Apple Store in Old Town Pasadena are all zombies. One girl was standing on the floor listening to something in her ears. Her hands were behind her back. I asked my techy where you pay, where was the register. He said the daydreaming, ugly, overweight, slovenly trolls on the payroll just retrieve the item for you and scan it with a handheld scanning gun. Ok, cool, i said. I went over to the girl. "I want to buy an ipod Classic." She saw my lips moving at her but she did not want to disengage her senses from whatever she was listening to so she just sort of smiled and hoped that I would assume she was from another planet and could not interact with humans. You see, I actually know what employees of all stripe are thinking. I have had a lot of experience with employees, and also customers. And I am one of those people who learn from experience. So I knew what was going on with her. But I am also a chronicler of human non behavior so I wanted to
continue on with her. Bear in mind that even before we entered my techy said that the employees at this particular Apple Store were astoundingly more zombified than the ones at other Apple Stores. He was right! So I said again, "Can I buy an ipod?" Having her Complete Number I was now merely pursuing an experiment at this point. I knew clearly that she would not be of any help to me whatsoever. But I wanted to have something to write about. Writing for me is a lot easier when I am simply reporting and passing judgement than when I am making something up whole cloth. WHICH I OFTEN DO! I am a cult-followed fiction writer, you see. I write fiction designed to amuse felon biker white people. So I said "Can I buy an ipod?" She finally made eye contact and said "Yes." I said "Thanks. Can I buy one from you?" After a long time, when I guess Heepo and the Penis People stopped singing in her head she said "Just go to anyone of those employees over there." and she sort of gestured with her face. There were one thousand employees "over there," all of them listless and foul to look upon. I said, grinning widely "Hey, thanks!" and went over to a cylindrical stalagmite of a lad with a thick roll of fat that wobbled up and down his central core when he perambulated making him look a little like a human Slinky when he moved even slightly and asked him what I had asked his
passive Borg co-worker, and he made a throat sound that seems to have passed through some ham sandwich paste from an earlier feeding frenzy and he went and got it and did the stuff they do and handed me my purchase. I then took a one-last-look at all the employees to cement into my head the reality of them and then left. And came home and installed it all here. For you to read. And maybe read carefully enough to avoid going to the Apple Store in Pasadena if you want to make a purchase but to certainly visit if you want to see some really caustically dull employee types and look at light reflections in all the Mac screens.

The New Nigger

I just learned that anytime Obama is hit with a criticism of anything at all he says he tosses out the race card. Like the niggers at a store I used to work at. They'd steal something and then you would stop them, or they'd use a stolen credit card and you would stop them and they would fly into a screaming rage. And this would only work against white people you understand. It would never work against Mexican employees. Mexicans hate niggers and niggers know this and Mexicans, unlike white people, don't pretend for even a second that they like niggers, which the niggers know also, so the race card never works with Mexicans. So you would stop them and they would fly into a screaming rage and say "You doo-in dis y'all juffs becaw I'm BLEK!" The average white personnel freaks at this. But I would say "No, I am not doing this becaw you're blek. I'm doing this becaw you have 20 pounds of t-bones down your baggy saggy pants. Now, because you are blek might be the reason YOU PUT the 20 pounds of t-bones down your baggy saggy pants, but that's not the reason I stopped you from leaving. I didn't stop you from leaving because you are blek. It's the meat you are stealing is the reason." Of course I would never get this far into the dialogue. Niggers know when a white person ain't at all concerned with "looking like a racist" to his white friends. At some point early on they would just sputter and fume and wait to see if I was going to give them the option of leaving without the meat and "never coming back" or of going to the next level which would involve cops. They always chose the level that did not involve cops. Niggers don't like cops for some reason. I am going to Pray to Jesus the God of Creation in human form who died for the sins of all mankind that The New Nigger is somehow delivered into my presence under circumstances where he is inspired to say to me "You are just saying that because I am black." HAHA. I will have a very funny answer for him.


Hooters sucks. The waitresses wear their order books in front of their pussies so you can't see no camel toe. They have those fucking glazed irridecent stockings on that make their legs look like copper coil electromagnets. They have five garments on under their Hooters shirt that presses them tits down harder than Primo Canerra presses down on his sphincter to get a turd to come out his ass. They come over and bug you like whore mosquitoes to get you to buy paraphernalia which if you dare to display it is going to piss off your wife and convince your buddies that you are desperate for love. The copper coiling goes up their asses making whatever is under their shorts look like curveless cement. If you dare to put your hand on their mummywrappings under their hooter shirts they call the cops and throw you in jail. And there ain't no women in there so you are in a room full of men with boners. There's probly more wrong with the place i just ain't recalled it yet. It's been a long time since i went in one. It took three visits to swear off the place. Now I just go to strip joints. It's a little more expensive but there ain't no visual frustration. And with a little tact and courtesy you can get that boner taken care of.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Conversations Among The Secret Service

Bob, you gonna jump in front of that nigger to take a bullet? No, Jack, don't think so. He ain't even American, is 'e? Nope. He's a fuckin' Muslim. Ain't we at war with the Muslims? Well, I know EYE am, even though George Bush is at war with terror. Any o' the other guys anxious to protect this Muslim American-hating motherfucker with their lives? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Ya kiddin' me, right? I ain't gettin' nowheres near that son of a bitch. Maybe Farakan will send some soldiers to stand in front of him. That's fine with me: they miss Obama they still get someone worth killin. Looks like it's gonna be a wild ride. Well so far it has been with every other nigger in charge of a city, state, or country. Goes right into the sewer overnight. All the whites leave in a hurry and the place turns into a fucking garbage can. But the Koreans will probly stay. Unlike white people Koreans aint afraid o' niggers. Maybe in a hundred years the Koreans will be running things in America and they'll let the white folks back. Sounds good ta me. Oh, look, there's Obama. Let's pretend we don't see him. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!

America's Motto For The Next 4 Years

Niggers, tree-huggers, and queers, o my.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Our Muslim Commander In Chief

When a country at war with Islam selects for its new leader and Commander In Chief of it's war machine....a Muslim: unless you're a nigger who voted for Obama or a really stupid white person who did the same thing while wearing his pants below his ass with his boxers pulled up real-cool-like like a fucking Negro Reetard, you have to assume that Islam is going to win that war. One of the problems of Islam winning a war against Christians is that the Christians have to convert to Islam or they are executed. Their bodies arent buried either. They are left out to dry as turds after passing through the stomachs of dogs and crows. Of course this assumes that the personnel of the war machine being commanded by a Muslim obey the Muslim Commander In Chief's orders. Hopefully they will not. And in fact it is hard to see how they would. What would be the incentive? Obeying the enemy? Well, the army of the Crips and the Bloods and the Weather Underground and the Black Panthers might obey the skinny Muslim boy-loving white-hating son of a nigger-fucking bitch. But I dont think the Marines or the Air Force or the Navy or the Army or the Special Forces, or even the Secret Service will obey the Muslim Commander In Chief. All this fucking stupidity that our Founding Fathers heaved onto us in their insistance of forming a government where no government was needed and which they spent a lot of time and money and energy fighting to get rid of now comes into full bloom here in 2008 as the Democratic majority chose for their champion a member of a sect that detests the Country the nigger President is now President of. I suppose a lot of people look around at the election aftermath and notice that the sun still comes up in the morning and that the mail still shows up and that there's still milk at the supermarket. And they likely assume from all this that everything's fine. Hey, it aint swearing-in day yet, pal. When that Koran comes out and that Muslim nigger bastard swears allegiance to Allah and not to the flag you can kiss your flat white ass goodbye because the nigger you voted for is going to cut your head off after asking you just once if you will convert to Islam. And if you think those Islamic bastards hate Jews, they hate Christians a whole lot more. Because you see the Jews and the Muslims at least have one thing in common: they both think that Jesus was just human. The difference is, the Jews don't care that Christians think Jesus was God Almighty Yahweh the Creator of the Universe in human Jew form. The Muslims, they gut a BIG problem with it. They won't tolerate anyone believing that a human being was, or in this case is, God. They'll cut your fuckin' head off. A Jew? He don't give a rats ass what you believe, so long as you pay your bills on time. Start learning your Koran You dumbass Christians who voted for this Islamic lunatic. And get your kneepads ready to get put into use bowing down five times a day to kiss Allah's fucking shit-covered ass.

Anarchists Anonymous

The motto of Anarchists Anonymous is "One law is too many. A million are not enough." Their biggest resistance as a group comes not from anti anarchists, you may be interested to know, but from Alcoholics Anonymous. Who are threatening to use the law to force them to change their name and their slogan. Alcoholics Anonymous has no known policy regarding anarchy, one way or the other, either favoring it or being against it: adding to the irony of the resistance by Alcoholics Anonymous to Anarchists Anonymous. I have some dealings with this group, personally gravitating to anything passively anarchistic. There is active anarchy and passive anarchy. Active anarchy is "sabotage." Passive anarchy is "standing listlessly by while order falls into prevailing position." Why the two things even have the same name is something I have not as yet examined. They are existential opposites. 99% of the "higher educated" (meaning educated at a cost exceeding two hundred thousand dollars) have a desperate almost limbic resistance to the idea that human "society" is by its nature orderly and that it only becomes disordered, chaotic and bloody-throughout when laws are imposed by force by a gang. As opposed to rules imposed by "the owners." I am sure I have lost everyone at this point. If Anarchists Anonymous would change their name to just "Anarchists" they would have less trouble with lawsuits. But more trouble from the FBI. I think "Passive Anarchists Anonymous" might work. Except it might give the impression that they are trying to give-up passive anarchy. Ya know, it could be that anarchy IS disorderly and chaotic by its very nature. Whoa.

Was Ayn Rand Musical?

When the title of something is in question-form the answer is always no. So, now that you know the answer i guess you're done. Goodbye. So, I guess that leaves just me here. LIKE THERE WAS ANYONE ELSE HERE ANYWAY! EVER!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I base this conclusion regarding Ayn Rand's musicality on evidence which a court would find spurious and anemic but which I find more than ample for conviction. Does it matter if she was musical? Well, yes I think so. Because, as you know, all the best people are. And there might be one or two remnant pathetic Ayn Rand acolytes who have yet to shake off the spell of the lesbian bulldyke witchery which I am certain was at the core of the blueprint of her soul. Well, you probably CAN shake it off in just a moment or two. I will walk you through the painless process and then you will be free. I could even do this for a Scientologist or a Catholic if I felt like it. But I don't feel like it. Muslim? I don't think I can get a Muslim to shake off Islam. It's in the DNA. Which reminds me!!.... that will be the topic of one of my most revolutionary posts. Yes, I know what you're saying: "But they're ALL revolutionary posts!!" Thank you, I am a bit embarassed now, that's very nice of you to say.
Ayn rand mentioned music only once or maybe twonce times in her
novels. And as any Ayn Rand acolyte knows, her novels have been memorized by, well, her acolytes. I can only think of two instances immediately of music references, and that might be because there WERE only two. Being an Ayn Rand acolyte myself I can only think of two at the immediate moment. In one book she said something about the character feeling some emotion that was the emotion that you expect to get from dancing but seldom do. This is clearly Ayn Rand talking about herself. This is clearly her admitting that she got nothing from dancing. This (this inability to "feel" anything from dancing) is a phenomenon alien to - except for Obama - 100% of the nigger population - 100% of the female population, 90% of the non-nigger male population with the exception of whites where it drops down to 10% of the white male population, and 100% alien to me personally. Which proves that I have something in common with every woman and every nigger on earth. And yet Ayn Rand lacked this "aspect" or "ability" or "faculty" I guess would be the word for it. She lacked the faculty for enjoying dancing. And in some other place she has some character going into a depression of anger - or something - regardiing the fact that a piece of Great Symphonic Wondrousness composed by a character in her novel had been transcribed into a popular little ditty and was being hummed by trained
myna birds. Ok, I have distorted the facts even more than I usually do. I was trying to be exasperated. But anyway, some "great composition" had been turned into a pop tune with banal lyrics. The fact is, you cannot "demean" a great musical composition. No matter what you do to it. Excellence always translates "downward" with ease and functionality. Ayn Rand had a particular love of Rachmaninoff's music. Or some of it; ya know, the popular stuff played by "classical" buffs. Rachmaninoff has in fact had his melodies turned into more than one popular song. "All By Myself" comes immediately to mind. He never suffered from it. It just proved that he was accessable by all. Nothing wrong with that. So the fact that Ayn Rand even had it in her head that this was something "that should not occur" to "great" (which usually means written before the recording of music was invented. And not all music written before that date was great. Including MOST of FUCKING MOZART'S!) music means that not only was Ayn Rand musically barren but she also was a pompous ass elitist who thought she was better than everyone else just because she had an IQ of 250. NO: YOU WEREN'T BETTER, YOU JEW RUSSIAN NAME-CHANGING BITCH! YOU JUST HAD WALRUS HIPS, MASTADON THIGHS, CALVES LIKE THE PILLARS OF DAGON'S TEMPLE AND ANKLES THAT WOULDNT TURN THE HEAD OF A
MONGREL HOUSEDOG TO SCAMPER OVER AND HUMP THEM! AND NOTHING IN THAT LIST MADE YOU BETTER! You just had a higher IQ. You were still a big nosed female farmhand that made Ugly Betty look hot. PLUS......Ugly Betty has a personality. It is very likely Ayn Rand did not. Unless you want to call the disposition of a hydrophobic hyena on angel dust a personality. So: was Ayn Rand musical? No. I think I already said that up top somewhere, didn't I? I TOLD you that articles titled in question- form the answer is always no. Thank you. Burma Shave.

Why The Stock Market Fell

It all had to do with the Mexicans. No one else will ever tell you this because it is the truth. Nobody tells the truth anymore. They are afraid. Their wives will get mad at them. But here is the truth. At some point about fifteen years ago American Industry noticed that illegal Mexicans were buying lots of Gerbers baby food and Huggies diapers. So they changed the labels to Mexican. Other industries noticed that Gerber and Huggies were writing Mexican words on their labels. Other industries did the same thing. Even though Mexicans might not be buying those products. The thinking was, well, they're buying baby food and diapers, that's for sure, by the fucking TON: maybe Mexican labels on OUR products will attract their attention. So American Industry made a big move toward Mexicanization. The Feds noticed this because Industry told them. They said "We like Mexicans." the Feds said ok: more sales for you means more extorted taxes for us: we're in.
A sort of "positive mind set toward illegals from the countries of Hispania" was established. Meanwhile the Mexicans were very busy buying houses. Nobody noticed this but me. they would buy a house and move 50 low-paid workers into it to pool the mortgage. Mexicans living 50 to a house was Valhalla considering where they came from: living 50 to a cardboard box. The house sellers said, "Shit, these fuckers can pay this house price easy, no sweat. Do you suppose if we up the price 20 grand they can still make the payments?" Turns out those rascal Mexicans sure could. They just moved 75 people into a house instead of just 50. Over the years the house sellers just said fuck it, raise the price of houses some more: let's see what happens. What happened was that the Mexicans just moved more workers in low paying jobs into the houses and they all still pooled their dough to make the payments. Eventually a piece of shit in Pacoima was costing NINE HUNDRED THOUSAND FUCKING DOLLARS! One day in the not too distant past, radio talk show noisemakers started screaming about illegal aliens. Washington panicked and tried to legalize everyone on earth as an American citizen. People flooded bureaucrats with complaints. The bureaucrats became frightened and backed off. They even took some baby steps to deport people. The Mexicans said "Ai carumba, eet's getteeng kind of dicey here my fren, let's vamoose home (which would be everywhere south of Texas) until things cool off."
A lotta houses suddenly had no people in them. Not a credit ding to an ilegal! Leaving was no problem to them!! Gambles made on housing futures going up all collapsed. Loans vanished to Mexico. Everything fell apart. Now prices on everything are dropping and that is considered Bad News. Not to me.

Why Niggers Are Different

The thing about niggers, the thing that makes them eternal non participants in the overall forward flow of civilization is that they came from a non-culture. Culture I will define as "social environments where buildings are not considered voodoo hexes from space." "Buildings" I will define as "large things made from something other than compacted dirt." This would of course exclude adobe structures from the definition of "building." I don't know why people say the social sciences are complicated. So niggers do not come from a "culture," Unlike, say, the Chinese. Who I believe were also brought over to America to do work and get treated like shit. But not as slaves. They would not have put up with that bullshit. They would put up with abuse. But they would not put up with being slaves. Because they came from a culture. In other words a place with buildings. They did not come from a compacted earth kiddie-fort, with entertainment, history, religion, and the nature of reality coming from a drugged and painted monstrosity of fears and psychoses obtaining his knowledge
from the shapes of the flames emanating from a circular fire in a hole in the dirt under the feared stars around which he is "dancing" to "music." Really BAD dancing to really BAD music. Life like this is not a "culture." Life like this is called "stone age life." It never changes. It is life on a basic human level necessary to sustain human life: clumped in groups, in fear, around fire. It's not "a culture." It's terror bouyed up from insanity by incantations to ghosts and images of animals sincerely believed to be wiser, more intelligent, and possessed of superpowers. It's basically nuts, in other words. "Culture" is a huge step above this in all cases. No matter WHAT the culture. Culture has, you may remember, "buildings." "Buildings" come about because there are things like agriculture and farming and "school" to enable a large enough group to exist to where new bits of knowledge can be added to the culture to make it "grow." Cultures "grow." "Stone age groups in the dirt" do not "grow." They persist. Or not. But they never "grow." Your "Negro" comes from a stone age clump. Not a culture. He was hauled into a culture by force and went into shock. The leap from clump-in-the-dirt to Culture is too big. People taken from other CULTURES can ADAPT to a NEW CULTURE. Because the leap is SIDEWAYS. Not UPWARDS. The American Indian and the Mexican Indian offer an excellent example of culture vs. dirt life. The American Indians lived in the dirt. They had no buildings. The Mexican Indians lived...in buildings!! Today the American Indian lives...in dirt! Still! Whereas the Mexican Indian lives in big houses in Los Angeles, 300 to a room. The American Indian strives to maintaiin his dirt heritage. He strives to stay the way he is. The Mexican Indian strives to get a job in Chinese restaurants to supplement his investment in leaf blowers. Which he operates early in the morning before the restaurant opens, sparing you, the sleeping American, the need for an alarm clock. That ends our lesson in the complete understanding of why Negroes are a mess. Thank you for your attention. There is no homework. I did all the work for you.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008


We now have a nigger President. And he wants change. Or in other words, the same thing the nigger under the bridge wanted from me today: change. Which I guess shows that you can take the nigger out from under the bridge and put him in the White House but he'll still be a nigger.

The New Presidential Nigger

As if having a Muslim nigger as President of the USA at a time when Muslims are giving up their suicidal lives in order to eradicate America, this particular nigger is the only nigger in fucking HISTORY to have been born with no musical sense or aptitudes at all. No rhythm, no vocal skills, he's tone deaf, he has a tin ear and a lead toe, he can't snap out a beat, he can't sing along, he is one of those typical freaks of nature who usually become tribal chieftains of the most ruthless sort: a totally non musical aberration. These guys usually get into management. Most managers are totally non musical. They have emptyness in their souls where the music is supposed to be. This particular lack usually distorts and warps their entire remaining soul structure. It, like, bends their souls into an unnatural, unattractive shape. Youy'll notice that the WORKERS in a workplace are mostly musical individuals, and the ones who are the most hooked into music in its most interesting and off-the-norm forms are usually superior employees in every way. Bafuck Insane Ofuckmerunning is one of these NON-MUSICAL NIGHTMARES who has taken over the highest management position possible. AND he's a nigger. A non musical NIGGER! That fucking pushes the limits of fucked-upness. He gotta have TONS of hatred and frustration boiling deep inside him. And he's gonna come up with some real shitty way of getting it all off his chest. When the nukes start falling on the USA it's a pretty good bet it will be while Obumba is outa town. Probly visiting his pal in Iran. I can see them both in a boy-lovers' ecstacy, getting their cocks sucked by buffed-out party stripper guys while they both jack off 14 year old boys they kidnapped. Ya gotta love it. We White American Christians are So Fucking Fucked with this atheist satan-worshipping piece of gay effeminate
queerbait motherfucker at the fucking helm.

Monday, November 10, 2008

The new White House

Somebody sent me a picture of the "new" White House after Obama and his Mau Mau Marxist brothers move in. There was, ya know, cars on the fuckin lawn and clothes hanging from a rope clothesline and garbage cans all over the place and niggers sittin up against the axles of the abandoned vehicles. The picture was funny but not exactly accurate. For instance the American flag was still flyin' from the roof: there were no minarets on the structure with some screeching Muslim prick singing hell songs to Allah The Boy-Fucker and Mojewmad, his Heeb inventor and calling people to Fucking Prayer 5 times a day but never to the shower.

obscene davey and goliath

Until a few months ago there was a great filthy parody of Davey and Goliath on video-clip sites everywhere. Davey was a total foulmouthed monster who wanted to get blowjobs from his sister and he said fuck you more than i say porn rules the universe. Then they disappeared. I think there were two of them. The great one was the episode where Davey falls off the ladder during the "home made signs" competition. Of course they were the original animations with new overdubbed filthy dialogue. The thing has disappeared from the world wide web. In its place are billions of legitimate episodes, some old, some fucking new of Davey and Goliath. Fuck that. I need to be able to see that great foulmouthed version whenever i need an instant fix of total sanity. Since no one reads this blog - and who the fuck could blame them - it is unlikely this call for help will ever go heeded.

Regarding comments on this blog

Unless they are so fucking funny and or brilliant they defy removal, all anonymous and pseudonymed comments will be deleted. Now of course you are saying "How can you possibly know if Joe Schwartz is some fucker's real name?" Well, first of all nobody named Joe Schwartz would be on this site. It's run by a wop. Jews would only show up by invitation. Hey, don't scoff, it happens more than ya think. Jews and wops get along. More or less. Long as the rules are followed. But I know what you're saying: how can I know if a posted "real name" is actually the real name of the guy using his "real name"? I dunno. I'll just know. And if I later find out different?...he fuckin disappears. From the site, you understand. Not from the earth's surface. At least not necessarily. Why the deal with real names? Hey: I use my real name; you use your real name. Otherwise that tells me you're just another scared white guy with a lotta opinions he dont have the balls to back up with his fuckin' kisser. Fuck that. And fuck you if you're ONE o' them blognet assholes with little egg ovaries for balls. This aint the place for you. i%ers other than Mongols are exempted from this rule. However Mongols gotta use their real names. Hey, life sucks if you're a Mongol and this is just another example of it.

anonymous nigger post

I was Googling "nigger in the white house" and came across some anonymous blog with the following anonymous comment. I don't approve of anonymous postings or anonymous anything else. But this is pretty funny. I did not write it. If I had I would say so.

Congratulations on your purchase of a brand new nigger! If handled properly, your apeman will give years of valuable, if reluctant, service.

You should install your nigger differently according to whether you have purchased the field or house model. Field niggers work best in a serial configuration, i.e. chained together. Chain your nigger to another nigger immediately after unpacking it, and don't even think about taking that chain off, ever. Many niggers start singing as soon as you put a chain on them. This habit can usually be thrashed out of them if nipped in the bud. House niggers work best as standalone units, but should be hobbled or hamstrung to prevent attempts at escape. At this stage, your nigger can also be given a name. Most owners use the same names over and over, since niggers become confused by too much data. Rufus, Rastus, Remus, Toby, Carslisle, Carlton, Hey-You!-Yes-you!, Yeller, Blackstar, and Sambo are all effective names for your new buck nigger. If your nigger is a ho, it should be called Latrelle, L'Tanya, or Jemima. Some owners call their nigger hoes Latrine for a joke. Pearl, Blossom, and Ivory are also righteous names for nigger hoes. These names go straight over your nigger's head, by the way.

Owing to a design error, your nigger comes equipped with a tongue and vocal chords. Most niggers can master only a few basic human phrases with this apparatus - "muh dick" being the most popular. However, others make barking, yelping, yapping noises and appear to be in some pain, so you should probably call a vet and have him remove your nigger's tongue. Once de-tongued your nigger will be a lot happier - at least, you won't hear it complaining anywhere near as much. Niggers have nothing interesting to say, anyway. Many owners also castrate their niggers for health reasons (yours, mine, and that of women, not the nigger's). This is strongly recommended, and frankly, it's a mystery why this is not done on the boat

Your nigger can be accommodated in cages with stout iron bars. Make sure, however, that the bars are wide enough to push pieces of nigger food through. The rule of thumb is, four niggers per square yard of cage. So a fifteen foot by thirty foot nigger cage can accommodate two hundred niggers. You can site a nigger cage anywhere, even on soft ground. Don't worry about your nigger fashioning makeshift shovels out of odd pieces of wood and digging an escape tunnel under the bars of the cage. Niggers never invented the shovel before and they're not about to now. In any case, your nigger is certainly too lazy to attempt escape. As long as the free food holds out, your nigger is living better than it did in Africa, so it will stay put. Buck niggers and hoe niggers can be safely accommodated in the same cage, as bucks never attempt sex with black hoes.

Your Nigger likes fried chicken, corn bread, and watermelon. You should therefore give it none of these things because its lazy ass almost certainly doesn't deserve it. Instead, feed it on porridge with salt, and creek water. Your nigger will supplement its diet with whatever it finds in the fields, other niggers, etc. Experienced nigger owners sometimes push watermelon slices through the bars of the nigger cage at the end of the day as a treat, but only if all niggers have worked well and nothing has been stolen that day. Mike of the Old Ranch Plantation reports that this last one is a killer, since all niggers steal something almost every single day of their lives. He reports he doesn't have to spend much on free watermelon for his niggers as a result. You should never allow your nigger meal breaks while at work, since if it stops work for more than ten minutes it will need to be retrained. You would be surprised how long it takes to teach a nigger to pick cotton. You really would. Coffee beans? Don't ask. You have no idea.

Niggers are very, very averse to work of any kind. The nigger's most prominent anatomical feature, after all, its oversized buttocks, which have evolved to make it more comfortable for your nigger to sit around all day doing nothing for its entire life. Niggers are often good runners, too, to enable them to sprint quickly in the opposite direction if they see work heading their way. The solution to this is to *dupe* your nigger into working. After installation, encourage it towards the cotton field with blows of a wooden club, fence post, baseball bat, etc., and then tell it that all that cotton belongs to a white man, who won't be back until tomorrow. Your nigger will then frantically compete with the other field niggers to steal as much of that cotton as it can before the white man returns. At the end of the day, return your nigger to its cage and laugh at its stupidity, then repeat the same trick every day indefinitely. Your nigger comes equipped with the standard nigger IQ of 75 and a memory to match, so it will forget this trick overnight. Niggers can start work at around 5am. You should then return to bed and come back at around 10am. Your niggers can then work through until around 10pm or whenever the light fades.

Your nigger enjoys play, like most animals, so you should play with it regularly. A happy smiling nigger works best. Games niggers enjoy include: 1) A good thrashing: every few days, take your nigger's pants down, hang it up by its heels, and have some of your other niggers thrash it with a club or whip. Your nigger will signal its intense enjoyment by shrieking and sobbing. 2) Lynch the nigger: niggers are cheap and there are millions more where yours came from. So every now and then, push the boat out a bit and lynch a nigger.

Lynchings are best done with a rope over the branch of a tree, and niggers just love to be lynched. It makes them feel special. Make your other niggers watch. They'll be so grateful, they'll work harder for a day or two (and then you can lynch another one). 3) Nigger dragging: Tie your nigger by one wrist to the tow bar on the back of suitable vehicle, then drive away at approximately 50mph. Your nigger's shrieks of enjoyment will be heard for miles. It will shriek until it falls apart. To prolong the fun for the nigger, do *NOT* drag him by his feet, as his head comes off too soon. This is painless for the nigger, but spoils the fun. Always wear a seatbelt and never exceed the speed limit. 4) Playing on the PNL: a variation on (2), except you can lynch your nigger out in the fields, thus saving work time. Niggers enjoy this game best if the PNL is operated by a man in a tall white hood. 5) Hunt the nigger: a variation of Hunt the Slipper, but played outdoors, with Dobermans. WARNING: do not let your Dobermans bite a nigger, as they are highly toxic.

Niggers die on average at around 40, which some might say is 40 years too late, but there you go. Most people prefer their niggers dead, in fact. When yours dies, report the license number of the car that did the drive-by shooting of your nigger. The police will collect the nigger and dispose of it for you.

Have it put down, for god's sake. Who needs an uppity nigger? What are we, short of niggers or something?

They all do this. Shorten your nigger's chain so it can't reach any white women, and arm heavily any white women who might go near it.

Not unless it outnumbers you 20 to 1, and even then, it's not likely. If niggers successfully overthrew their owners, they'd have to sort out their own food. This is probably why nigger uprisings were nonexistent (until some fool gave them rights).

Yeah, well, it would. Tell it to shut the fuck up.

A nigger's skin is actually more or less transparent. That brown color you can see is the shit your nigger is full of. This is why some models of nigger are sold as "The Shitskin".

What you have there is a "wigger". Rough crowd. WOW!

They're as common as dog shit and about as valuable. In fact, one of them was President between 1992 and 2000. Put your wigger in a cage with a few hundred genuine niggers and you'll soon find it stops acting like a nigger. However, leave it in the cage and let the niggers dispose of it. The best thing for any wigger is a dose of TNB.

And you were expecting what?

When you came in here, did you see a sign that said "Dead nigger storage"? .That's because there ain't no goddamn sign.

Important announcement

I am creating new lyrics to "Mirror In The Bathroom." I am changing it to "Nigger In The White House." I can't wait. For the new lyrics, I mean. Not the reality, of, ya know, the new nigger in the White House. But, ya know, sooner or later it had to happen. I mean it's been a slow decline since George Washington. And he didn't really WANT the job. Honest man. No honest man WOULD want the job of ruling soverign individuals. Yep: George Washington to Barak Obama. A steady decline from the very best to the very worst. I guess that will pretty much be wrapping it up for America, no? Well, it's been a fun two hundred and whatever years. That's all, folks. Burma Shave.

No law: lotsa order

When George Washington defeated the most powerful empire in the history of the world, he had no government. He had no defense department. He had no Congress. He had no Senate. He had no graduates of West Point. He had farmers with guns with no military training. He won the war. He defeated the most powerful and richest and most heartlessly brutal empire in history. the Mighty British Empire. For ELEVEN YEARS AFTER THAT there still was no government. Everything was fine. There was peace, prosperity, and progress. There were no problems. If there were, they werent making the news, they were getting handled. During this blissful time everyone was convinced that something was wrong. Things could not have been more right. But historically, this was unprecedented. You cannot have “no government.” Otherwise there will be chaos and anarchy and ruin and extinction. You could look up this road and down that one and not SEE any of these things happening but everyone was convinced apparently that a megalithic apparatus for destruction financed by threat of prison had to be put into place. A government must be formed at all costs! So they formed one. They actually went out of their way to create a government for an already brilliant, smoothly running machine. In order to keep it from running smoothly. Because they, and everyone in history apparently, believes that a government is necessary for people to survive. In reality an absence of government is necessary for people to survive. In a couple of days the head of this government the Founding Fathers Founded very well might be a skinny, totally unprincipled, egotistical delusional tribal chieftain puppet operated by the Christian detesting Muslim Empire. It took only two hundred years of government control to turn a nation of astounding geniuses into idiotic dunces. GOOD JOB FOUNDING FATHERS!! WAY TA GO!! FIXED A MACHINE THAT WAS FUNCTIONING PERFECTLY!! Damn good thing there’s no chaos anywhere, we’d be in real trouble.

what halloween means to me

It’s almost halloween. I love halloween: tiny little Democrats of the future come to the door making threats and demanding payment, or else. Actually they’re more honest than Democrats. They dont say they’re going to redistribute the candy. We know they’re going to keep it. They also dont come to the door dressed as angels: they come dressed as demons. When they get older and run for office they’ll dress as angels. And promise to give the loot away. They’ll also have more clout to get the loot than just a verbal ultimatum. They’ll have the law behind them. Halloween: it’s American politics performed by children. No wonder its so fucking scary.

My Halloween


I decided I would spend it at the Santa Anita Mall dressed as a Sith. The Jayster became the Sithster. Every Halloween children from all over the place come to the Santa Anita Mall with their parents. The children are all dressed in costume. The parents aren't. The only grownups, or near-grownups, who dress in costume at Halloween at the Santa Anita Mall are employees of the shops. And, this year, me. And I am not an employee at any of the shops. If I was an employee at any of the shops, and if I was dressed up at Halloween inside the mall - I would be giving candy to the children who came up to me. And in fact that is the whole idea of employees at the shops dressing up at Halloween: to give candy to the children; who are also dressed up at Halloween; to go to the shops and get candy from the grownup employees dressed up at Halloween. I am also a grownup. I was also at the mall dressed up for Halloween. But I had no candy. And I didn't work at any of the shops. But the kids didn't know that. And so it is by now that you should be able to see what it was that was going on here inside my head, inside my costume, inside the mall, with no candy inside my pockets.
It was not long before little tykes began to cute-ily approach me in their delightful costumes of fairies and frogs and pirates and little pretties; their eager, avaricious eyes filled with trust and excitement. "TRICK OR TREAT!!!" a little band of innocent hopefuls announced to me, their satchels of contraband held open and upward at my shrouded form. I looked down at them with a soft grin. I enclosed all my fingers together at my waist, and in all blackness I said to them "Ah: trick or treat indeed. I shall select from you, I think, 'trick'. For you see, I have no candy. I just look like I do. And even if I did have candy, I would not give it to you. I would give it to crows. Or to bats. Or to lizards. Not to you." They would look at me then with a bit of unsureness mixed with, I think, worry. I don't think their worry was that they would get no candy. No, I think their worry was that they would not be able to back-up their threat of punishment if they got no "treat." Rare is the toddler who comes prepared at the annual Halloween greedfest and extortion orgy to follow through with his
threat of retaliation should he not get his beak quite as moistened as he had demanded at the outset of his demand, all full of swagger and confidence and braggadocio. And so when I told them I had no candy for them they would look at me for a moment, in childlike concern and upset, and then turn immediately in desperation and confusion to their parents - usually six to ten feet away - and wonder I suppose if their guardians and protectors - and the very people who brought them here in the first place to get their guts full of crap and goo for free - they would turn to these formerly trusted, but eventually not quite so trusted, souls to straighten all of this out. Preferably in the child's favor. But I do not fear parents any more than I fear their idiot, annoying midgit offspring. I would then raise my gaze to the parents, standing off in the distance, and I would just look at them. I am often told, usually by people who, having 5 or 6 drinks at my invitation, and feeling welcomed enough to speak freely, that i have - even when not in costume - a sort of crazed and
disturbing.....I guess "look" would be the best word to use as a description. Though sometimes they say "manner" and sometimes they say "expression" and sometimes they say "vibe" and sometimes they say "demeanor" and sometimes they say.....well I guess you can add your own words here, I am getting tired of doing so. Keep it up for as long as you think it's necessary. And so, being possessed of all or some of these attributes, I would look up from the befuddled children, now looking back at their parents, and I would join them in their gaze toward their elders. Even to the most fearless, and in the case of the shoppers at this mall, criminally mutated, parents, the sight of a 65 year old man of minimum charm and even less attractiveness staring expressionless at them in a Sith costume, devoid of makeup and yet appearing quite appropriately dressed to suit his natural facial appearance.....the parents' reactions always seem to mimic their childrens' at these moments. Leading me to conclude that stupidity is indeed transferable via the testicles and ovaries. After a moment or two of silence from all three groups - the children before me, the parents behind them, and me and my shroud in front of both - the parents would gesture the kids "Come on, come away from there..." (I was more often than not referred to as "there" in these little dramas) "...Let's go to the next store." And the children would then QUICKLY scamper away in a direction perpendicular to where I was facing and proceed to hopefully better hunting grounds yonder. I did this for about two hours. I inadvertantly gave a bad name to many MANY places of business. This was not my intent. It was my intent to amuse myself at the expense of toddlers. Not at the expense of diligent business owners. Such is the unfortunate plague of Halloween: it spreads its contagion like spraying, roiling lethal shrapnel from a hellish cannonball. Once in a while some adult, a bit more self assured than most, would march up to me, all martial and regal and self appointed to something, and say to me straight on, once the kids were out of earshot "What the fuck's your problem grampa, fuckin with these kids. This the best you can do with your fuckin free time??" I'd gesture down at myself real quick, all Italian, my arms out, my garb draped open - and dark, inside and out - my face all hooded: and I'd look at him like he was an imbecile. "Whattaya want from me. I'm a Sith, fa crise sakes. We're pricks." Like as though, ya know, have a fukkin clue, stupid. Then I'd just stand there, my arms out, presenting myself; lookin' at him with an expression of self explanatory righteousness mixed with a kind of ominous glare. Then, still standing there looking at him, presenting myself in preposterous grim reaper attire, I'd tilt my head a smidge and kind of soften my expression, as though saying, "Hey: dude; c'mon; it's October 31st. " This worked with all my participants in these private conversations, and they would all kind of chuckle and go off after their family like, oh, yeah: you're right. Well, it worked with all but one granpa 55 year old Mexican patron who still was not amused and to this day probably STILL isn't, his nuts probly even now still undergoing reformation from pudding back into their original ovoid shapes. I'm still a dancer AND a good sprinter and by the time he regained his painlessness and his upright posture I was in front of another store 500 yards away and pissing off boys and girls like hellzapoppin. When the time came for me to go I was making my way down the escalator in Macy's and I heard a voice behind me utter, "Will you forgive my sins?" This was, I decided, directed at me. At the bottom I stepped off and sort of turned around to await and encounter who was talking to me and it was a strange man with a kind of unhinged expression. I said, still under the cowl, "What?" looking at him. He had to stop because I had stopped. A bit more jocular now he said, "Will you forgive me my sins?" I looked at him unsmilingly for a second and then told him, "I don't forgive sins. I encourage them." He got all weirder and went away, troubled. It was fun. And, I would hasten to add, it WAS Halloween. Otherwise I am sure I would be writing this from State Custody. For even now I am still in my Sith robe. And it's mid November. But I am wise enough to only go OUT in it one night a year. Which make me - officially, at least - ... not nuts. Heh heh.

Why say nigger?

I am often asked why I use the Nigger word. Or as I like to type it when I do not wish to offend, ni&*%gg&&#er. I use the word nigger in order to upset white people. Niggers don't really seem to care if someone calls them nigger, unless it is in a "challenging" environment. For instance, if there was a nigger over there, say, and he was the only nigger in the vicinity, and everyone else was white and i called him nigger, that would be a challenging environment. I would not do that. It just aint me. Unless of course it was Obama. He is a separate category. Now then, if i was the only white man in a room full of niggers, I could, and most likely would, say nigger with impunity. The other niggers would just look at each other and shake their heads and say "Dat be one fukked up ofay muthuhfukka, ite." Or some similar such exotic remark. Because being the only white man in a room full of niggers and saying nigger clearly is not a challenge. Now, white people reading this of course would disagree because when it comes to niggers, white people are pretty fucking stupid. But any niggers reading this - which liklihood I estimate at zero - they would understand with no problem. I have left the point. I say nigger because it upsets white people. Who are scared to death of niggers. And so publicly pretend they like them. But they do not. They fear them. Head to toe, top to bottom, inside and out, white people fear niggers like they fear....well, there ain't nothing a white person fears more than a nigger so I guess I can't come up with a comparison. So when I say nigger, white people rally to the "defense" of the people they fear: the niggers. They attack me for saying nigger because it shows them that I am not afraid of niggers. Whereas they are. And this bothers them. To an astounding extent. Whitey is TERRIFIED of de Nee-grow. But I am not. That nigger over there lookin' at me right now with what appears to be a fucking AK in his ape grip?....him I'm a little leary of. But just plain old, the whole fucking tribal horde of, niggers en masse and in general? I aint afraid of them. Take it or leave it. Do the niggers care if I ain't afraid of them? I doubt it. At least not the ones I don't owe any dope-money to. And the niggers I DO owe money too?....they might give me a reason to be afraid of them in particular if I don't come up with some sort of payment plan that they are comfortable with. But that's between me and them particular niggers. It aint nobody else's, nigger or not, bidneh. So fuck you, Whitey. Go vote for that nigger you're scared of and maybe when he calls his muslim pals to break into your house they'll only slit half your throat out of respect of your fear of them. You dumbass piece of white shit coward.

Welcome, Stupid

Welcome, stupid. As you can see there's nothing here now. But America now has a nigger in the White House. And I now have a blog. So there will eventually be something here, just as sure as eventually there will be rap videos being shot in the Oval Office. I never thought America would ever have a nigger in the White House. And I never thought that I would have a blog. Both things turn my stomach. And yet here they both are. They arrived simultaneously. It ain't an accident. It is a law of nature: nigger in the White House?....J.J. starts a blog. If you don't like it, leave. You won't be missed. At least not by me. Thank you and fuck you. J.J. Solari

Alternate Blog Greeting That Was Never Used

Hi, stupid. Welcome. Your idiot life just got smarter. Your meaningless existence just took a turn onto a happier highway. My torture is your comedy. My annoyances are your redeemable coupons for fun. At the moment I am bent slightly, quite nude, and pulling my buttcheeks apart so strainingly that i can actually hear ripping noises that for once are not farts. And my ass is facing your direction. Sure, it's gay. Men insulting other men is always gay. Hey, at least I am not pulling my cock out of my zipper and thrusting my crotch in your direction and daring you, "Hey! Suck this, white boy!" like niggers and Mexicans like to do. In fact, it's none of this is REALLY happening at ALL!! It's just letters on a screen. Not even illustrations or drawings. So relax. Asshole.