Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Jackson Funeral

This picture, taken at the mortuary embalming Michael Jackson's tranny carcass, will feature Jackson with an erection of his penis available for touching by boys under 12. Those youngsters who wish to actually suck Michael Jackson's dead penis will have to pay double the fingers-only fee. The family has stated that no one may exceed 2 seconds on the clock for any kind of contact. Youngsters who cannot reach up and over the coffin will be lifted up into the air by NAMBLA officials and gently and tenderly held ass-to-cock by the courteous boy-lovers afficianadoes. Trillions of eager adults and hundreds of terrified children are expected to attend. Admission is $1,000. Children under puberty are free to admit but must pay the posted touch-a-cock fee. To be announced. MIchael also foward-lookingly saved all of his ejaculated semen throughout his busy boy-fucking life and droplets of his sacred and holy jizz have been encased in lovely lockets and bracelets. President Obama has already ordered several to place on silver rods and push through his nostrils for decorative purposes. "We did dat in de tribe ub my yoof, hee hee yowza, ite," the president said while shrinking a head.


If you have Yahoo this picture has been on the side of your screen all week. It's the best thing about the game: this advertising bait-and-switch chick. This is the best that it gets. The game a 1970's level Donkey Kong arcade game without the ape. It's like an overhead view of a coloring book. So just cut and paste the ad-pic...scan it to life size, put it in the bathroom, and jack off on it. That's what I did. Hey, no problem, you're welcome.

When Michael Died

At the news of Michael Jackson's death 3,000 30 year old men took the pistols away from their heads, put the guns in a drawer, and continued on with their lives.

Gagwriter's Joke Of The Day

"Cardinal Mahony is working the Tilt-A-Whirl at Neverland."........D.O.

Lookit this picture of this freaking tranny child molester motherfucker ghoul-faced creep-times-ten that the AP and everyone else is saying NOTHING bad about. Jesus Fucking With A Capital F Christ: this is the face that leaned close to little boys and talked to them about what bad things would happen to them if they didn't let him touch their penises. Fucking kids, they musta thought they were in hell-without-dying. They'll pro'bly all look forward to death when it comes for making them forget about what happened to them in life: which was having to look at the face of this monstrosity of a fucking freaking monster in the throes of orgasm while he playing with their cocks and jizzing onto their balls. Assuming their balls were even in their sacs yet, which in Jackson Years would have made them old men.

The Niggerpation Proclamation

Everyone thinks that pompous ass, Lincoln, was a great guy for signing the emancipation proclamation "proclaiming" niggers "free." He just moved them from a smaller yard into a bigger one with a new owner: Lincoln. So the niggers became slaves to a different owner like the rest of us already were: the Feds. Except they don't actually now have to go out into the field to get paid. Whitey goes out into the field and the new owner gives the nigger a cut for sleepin'-in. It's called Reparations for the crimes of dead plantation owners. Sharpton thinks it ain't enough. Sharpton thinks the niggers should just get everything that is presently available. Sharpton thinks that whitey should just hand all the stuff he has over to the niggers. To save the nigger even the effort of breaking in and taking it. So that he won't even have to do that anymore. 'Cause let's face it, even to jack a car you have to get up off the couch. Sharpton thinks even that effort is basically unfair. And it gets even more fucked up than that: Al Franken is now a State Senator. Al Franken makes Obama look wise and intelligent. Al Franken makes Jessie Jackson look wise and intelligent. He makes GW look like Neils Bohr. Ummmm.....I think I'm done. Class dismissed.

Al Franked Declared Minnesota Senator

Al Franken, a comedian who's never funny, was declared State Senator by the Minnesota Supreme Court. Senator is a good job for a comedian who's never funny. He has a head start on incompetence.

And Now A Dennis Moment

My friend told me that there were pics on the net of Iraqi woman being raped by U.S solder's. I didn't see anything like that on the net, but she stated that the men used water torture on one of the victims then they gang raped her. They filmed the act then submitted it to a porn site. Is this true??? Does anyone know who the soldiers were and what happened to them were they punished?
3 hours ago
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All the men in that rape video of Iraqi women have died of Syphilis. They didn't water torture the women it's called a Pearl Necklace.

6 minutes ago

Anyone care to update me on current events?

So, I've been working 12 hour days the past month and haven't watched any tv and have hardly read any news articles. What's going on in the world besides Michael Jackson? And what's going on in the states at midnight? I live in the U.S. btw.
13 minutes ago
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My sister has a Yeast Infection.
4 minutes ago

Did you Know you can go to the unemployment office and look at jobs for Blacks only?

I was at the unemployment yesterday and on the EDD web site called Gad Ball I saw a window for jobs that only black people are allowed to apply for
11 minutes ago
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They have a rape white women category at the unemployment office?
3 minutes ago

Some Genuinely Interesting Hollywood Gossip

Remember this guy in the picture? It's Paul Kelly who was in a ton of movies in the 40's. Early in his career he fell for some other guy's wife. One day the two guys got into a brawl over her and Kelly beat him to death with his fists. He went to prison for two years and the guy's wife went to prison too. After they both got out they got married, he became a star and they lived happily ever after. I bet at the Hollywood parties Kelly and his ol' lady got invited to, nobody said shit about his wife. Or him either. I bet everyone behaved themselves. HAHAHAHA.

Associated Press Writing Skills

I took an electronic photo of this yahoo AP headline. i didn't change anything.

'Nother Train Off The Rails

This one was in Italy. That's five in about a week in one place or another. Plus the two planes going to and from France. The word's out: Obama's a pro-Muslim pussy, blow up everything in sight. Bush was an idiot but he liked killing Muslims. That's the only thing that quiets them down: their deaths. For all his stupidity he was smart enough to understand that at least.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Plane #2 Goes Down

Might as well start an Obama Douchebag Death Toll, plane number two went down, falling outa the sky for no reason into the ocean so the black box can't be recovered. Those Muslims see clear skies ahead with this pro Muslim douchebag faggot gay cross-dresser givin' 'em a free pass to sabotage the whole civilized portion of the planet. Being a nigger, civilization is the enemy to this guy. He can only think in terms of dirt and rubble, that's where his comfort zone is. He'll take the perks as long as they are available but he'd be happiest in a boma and putting everyone else in one too so there would be no "inequality." Everyone would be slumass poor. Even for a nigger Obama's stupid. Shit, I oughta put that on a shirt.

Gagwriter Joke Of The Day

"I filled out the EHarmony compatibility form and they matched me up with a jar of Vaseline and a porno video."__________ Dennis Ousley

White Firemen

The Supreme Court of Masonic Weirdos reversed a ruling by the fat Mexican lezbo dyke spic fatassed bitch judge that the nigger in chief wants as a Supreme Court Lesbian. In Connecticut a bunch of whites and Mexicans and niggers took fireman tests. A bunch of whites, a couple of Mexicans and NO NIGGERS AT ALL passed the test. So the fat Mexican bitch judge said that the test was racist. The Supreme Court yesterday said that no, the test wasn't racist, rather, niggers are stupid. That is NOT how the "formal explanation" will be worded, by the way. But that is what it will say in wrap-around jargon. But in a sense - to be fair - the fat Mexican bitch is right: the test was racist: it seperated the retarded race from the other races. The retarded race being the nigger race. Or the "race that lives naked and in the dirt" race. Which would be the nigger race. You will notice that two Mexicans actually passed the test. That is because the Mexican, or "south-of-Texas indian" race is not a "naked in the dirt" race. It is a "stone-stacking" race. That means they can "learn." To some extent. To review an earlier lecture of mine, Americans are different from all other tribes in history and on earth in that Americans were the first "steel-stacking" race. Americans taught steel stacking to other cultures: European; Arab; Slopehead; Spic; and nigger. The Europeans got the idea immediately. the Europeans might have even started stacking steel first, but if they didn't, they were right close behind to be the first to do it. The Arabs, Slopeheads, and Spics, to some extent, were able to pick-up the idea because they came from stone-stacking cultures. For instance, the Arabs stacked the pyramids, the chinks stacked a wall, and the spics stacked some additional pyramids. The niggers however are forever going to be bewildered about how to advance to the steel-stacking level of human advancement because they come from a dirt-stacking culture. They never stacked stones. They stacked twigs and branches, like gorillas do when making a nest. As do the "American" indians, they also stack twigs and branches. So the chinks and the spics and the sandniggers, they learned steel-stacking because they only had to "advance" one level: from stone to steel. The niggers however will never learn it, nor will the "American" indians or the Australian aborigines because they have to make a two-tiered leap from dirt sifting and twig stacking to steel stacking without ever having mastered the stone-stacking stage. Apparently making a two-level jump for the terrestrial human earth-monkey is too tough of a leap. It has to be one level at a time otherwise they just get stuck. A discussion of the "Iriquois," a tribe of "American" indians that works in the high-rise construction business will have to wait. Although I know there's a fucking white "defender of the Indians" out there somewhere screaming "Hey, the Iriquois stack steel!!"

Sunday, June 28, 2009

World News At A Glance

The Americans are pulling out of Iraqi cities and the Muslims are now killing each other. Iran is in turmoil and very soon the Muslims will start killing each other. I like the way things are going. Stay tuned to this station for world news the fast way.

Jackson's Nigger Physician

They're closin' the noose around that poor bastard. "Murder" pro'bly nullifies all insurance policies. Innuendo is flyin against this guy like he was Richard Nixon. He did this wrong, he did that wrong, he was owed money that was never gonna be paid, he had an attitude problem, he was frustrated, he lost-it and took revenge....i can see it all comin'. Sill I can't believe they're pickin' on a nigger and not a white dude. That kinda throws me. Jackson's dead: thousands of future children will never be traumatized by him playing with their cocks. This doctor ought to be made Mayor of Los Angeles in celebration. Yeah, I know, he's a nigger. But he's a GOOD nigger. Yeah yeah, I know, the only good nigger is a dead nigger. Hey, whattaya want, gimmee a break, I'm tryin' ta cut a good Samaritan some slack, ok? A tranny sadist Luciferian remorseless, resolute child molester is dead. If this guy did it he
deserves a medal.

More Honduras

The "world" including the US is "condemning" Honduras. Which is a pretty good indication Honduras has done something right. The "world" including the US "condemned" the Croat-Serb war when the Christians decided to slaughter and eradicate the Muslims. Clinton put a stop to that pronto. It's the only time he took action of any kind- other than to unzip his pants and squirt jizz onto a teen - and he was inspired into action to save Muslim lives. When the Muslims attempted to knock down one of the World Trade Towers with an underground-parking bomb, he didn't do shit. Didn't see the WTC as a target at all after that. Just took his cock out some more and stuck it in a teens yap and laughed and jizzed. Pretty good job, the Presidency: you just get laid and fuck the Nation.

Steve Martin Banjo CD

If you like hillbilly music - and I fucking DON'T! - Steve Martin, the Jew comedian that used to be funny 40 years ago - put out a cd of him and some other hick-type musicians playing his banjo-song original compositions and with Martin on the banjo. If you like banjo playing...let me emphasize this, if you LIKE banjo playing... you're gonna go fucking nuts. Steve Martin writes banjo music and plays banjo like, fucking, Beethoven on white lightning.

The Hereafter

Michael Jackson gets to sing in the hereafter with a hundred piece orchestra of the greatest dead musicians in history while Billy Mays stands right next to him while he's performing and is selling Oxyclean to the orchestra at the top of his voice. Jackson is in hell and Mays is in heaven even though they are both in the same place. This saves God a lot of real estate, and being a Jew He really likes that. The Hereafter: one location with everyone together; some of them eternally pissed; some of them eternally happy. God's idea of a very funny joke. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

The "Blues"

Here's how the "blues" works:

I just fucked my baby
even though she had the shits
i just fucked my baby
even though she had the shits
i squirt jizz on her pussy
and a little on her tits.

now sing 20 more 6-line pieces of repetitive anything that comes into your head, using the same two bars of music for every line of sung crap. then stop. wait for tons of applause. Then start over with another bunch of nursery rhymes to the VERY SAME MUSIC.
Congratulations. You are now an American icon. Blues is nigger music by the way. That's why white people say it's great even though it's retarded.


Bet you never thought you'd ever see Honduras mentioned here. Neither did I. The Honduran military dragged the head of the country, who is best pals with the commie running Venezuela and the commie running Cuba and kicked his ass out of the country. Naturally the nigger in chief and his lesbian secretary of state are upset. Because they know it could happen to them. And should.

Billy Mays' Last Pitch

Sadly, before he died, Billy Mays was contracted to hawk the world's funniest book. He made several run-up rehersals, and while the video cannot be shown here, the audio can be here reproduced: Ladies and gentlemen: Billy Mays' last pitch:


Billy later commented after one of the rehersals that having anything to do with "that awful book" would probably kill him. He'll be missed. Our thoughts and prayers go out to the thousands of children who never had the chance to be molested by Billy Mays, since, unlike Michael Jackson, he wasn't a child molester. To repeat once again - Billy Mays, famed pitchman and hawker has died, killed by the contents of what he said was the plague and the infection and the contagious pestilence of When Bikers Meet HUmans. He'll be missed. Our thoughts and prayers go out to those places where thoughts and prayers go out to at these times of personal tragedy and sorrow. I guess they go out to Guam, which I think is....over there in that direction, can you see where I am pointing? Billy Mays, dead at..... some age that doesn't really matter. He won't be exceeding it. He'll be missed. It IS a lot quieter, I've noticed. Wait, I think I can still hear him. Anyone know why he keeps yelling? Does he know he's dead? Does he ever stop?? I can hear him!! "PETER....HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED 'HOW IS IT THESE PEARLY GATES KEEP GETTING TARNISHED WHEN I HAVE JESUS HIMSELF CLEANING THEM BY MAGIC!!' MAYBE WHAT YOU NEED SOMETHING A LITTLE MORE SUBSTANTIAL THAN MAGIC PETER, MAYBE YOU NEED PEARLY-SWIRLY!! WHAT'S PEARLY-SWIRLY??...."

Oh for christ sakes. dennis ousley has just told me that billy mays was found with a rope around his neck, another rope around his balls, and a Sham-Wow stuffed up his ass. Ok, now that crosses all lines of decency, I am out of here, i dont need this.

Jackson's Doctor's House

The press is running pictures of Conrad Murray's house, for crise sakes. I mean, they are wasting no time fucking with this guy, and lookit his house, it looks like the house of a psycho killer. This is a whole new press-tactic, I guess, "guilt by yard appearance." I have to confess, it works for me! Looks like there's a bunch of shit on the sidewalk in front of it too. Whattaya suppose THAT is. HAHAHA maybe the press Jews put it there, to make the place look even more creepy. Nice touch, I gotta admit. The cops already took away the guy's car. HAHAHA. But, oh, no, he's not a suspect. Everything's fine. They just hauled his car away. They do that all the time: someone dies - they impound the attending physician's car. That's normal. I mean, hell, they did the same thing to OJ's car. And Robert Blake's car. And they were innocent. So same with this guy. He's innocent too. They just took the car for a while to have 300 scientists examine every square inch of it. Well, if they took his car, they're pro'bly gonna rope-off his house next. I mean it's in Nevada and the press has already hitailed-it there to take pictures of it. They musta heard it was gonna be roped off. Or picked up a really big vibe when they saw the guy's car being taken to Lawrence Livermore for inspection. Obama's gotta be pissed, another nigger is getting all the headlines.He better get used to it or else start WW3, Jackson's gonna be Topic Number One pro'bly until the end of time.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Early Training Picture

Here's a picture of Michael Jackson learning how to put things into childrens' mouths.

Yogi Berra

I just found out that Yogi Berra never died. That means he's still alive. Jesus Christ, he was 90 years old when that picture was taken and that was taken pro'bly in the fifties! As long as Yogi Berra is still alive that means that everything in America is still basically ok. But when he goes, I think that's gonna be it. Then it'll all be gone. He's all that still actually means anything in America that has anything to do with America. Shit, I feel bad about him dyin' and he ain't even dyin'. I just can't win.

Jackson's Final Tour

The Family and debt-holders of the Jackson "estate" have announced a final Michael Jackson tour of his body to nursery schools and daycare centers throughout America for the children to spit on. It will be the "farewell" tour in a very real sense. Children who wish to spit onto the body will have to pony-up ten thousand dollars apiece unless they can prove Michael Jackson actually played with their gonads or enticed or forced him or her, most likely him, to play with his (Michael's.) These kids will get to spit on Mike for free. Proof will entail photos taken by Cecil B. DeMille or Alfred Hitchcock and signed in the blood of a tyranosaurus on paper from the tomb of Nebucadnezzar with a pen of Ramses the 2nd containing ink from a squid living in the ruins of Atlantis captured by Aquaman using a speargun built by Mr. Spock.

LaToya Jackson Offers To Take Michael's Place As Star

LaToya Jackson, Michael Jackson's weird sister, offered to take her brother's place as the pop icon of America. "I look just like him and have an actual pussy," she said. "Everyone wins: fags; normal people - I'll be better than he was. At least in the looks department. And I have a nose. I'm the one he was always trying to look like anyway, and I actually look like me, so it all makes sense I should just step into his shoes. Plus, if I molest little pubescent boys they are not going to be traumatized. They are going to be thinking their little woody ship just came in. Instead of trying to expunge it all from their memories they'll wished they had filmed it just to make the lifetime's worth of masturbating sessions I am going to create for them a little clearer. Of course to all you 12 year old boys listening, I WILL be happy to film our little 'me and your penis' sessions, no problem. Oh dear, what's that noise?" "It's 12 year old boys lining up outside," the reporter informed her.

Jackson's 3 "Children" Charged With Murder

The three Jackson "offspring" shown above, whose names are Michael, Michael, and a creature named "Blanket" have been arrested at the Jackson Family home in Encino and charged with first degree murder in the death of their "father" Michael, the famous pop star. "I juff knowz dey dun it," Michael, the family patriarch, chittered loudly while swinging from the chandelier to the ceiling fan to the curtain rod to the bric-a-bracs shelf near the upper part of the wall and then doing a forward flip, bringing his tiny little legs together to increase the speed of his rotation, and then landing on the dining room table, snatching a banana, and then scampering out an open wiindow and into the yard. Jesse Jackson, who has recently declared himself a member of the Michael Jackson family, stated that "Da frtllbg httyghhh vbngngn fwouuutlbb." His son Jesse, translating from Jesse language into Normal Nigger said that his father said "I juffs knowz dem white little shits dun it." The three children are currently in the downtown jail facilty undergoing grueling questioning by the entire Los Angels police force and all the detectives squads. They have not requested lawyers since they have no idea what lawyers are. They are expected to be executed in Iran by Abadinijad next week. The children are reportedly all crying. "Life with him dead is even worse for us than life with him alive was," Michael Prince was heard to say to Michael Paris and Michael Blanket. "It never ends," he concluded, inadvertently quoting Sam Kinison, which made several of the detectives laugh before resuming interrogation. So far only Blanket has confessed, but it cost her several teeth before she opted to own up to things. The other two are expected to confess "certainly before dawn tomorrow," one of the detectives assured reporters, wiping blood from his hands with a towel and laughing. LaToya, who used to have great fake tits, a hot little ass, and the cutest pussy this side of Vajayjay High, and who has always been the most outspoked critic of her parents of all the original Jackson children said "It makes sense to charge the kids with murder and then kill them as soon as possible. All three of them can't wait to escape and accuse Michael of, well, ya know, the usual deranged sexual things that kids are ALWAYS accusing him of," she said, rolling her eyes around, "and also my father wants the limelight. He also wants to start dating Lindsay Lohan's mom. Which to me is, ya know, weird."

Congress To Bailout Jackson Show Promoter

Congress in coordination with an insistent Barak Obama has declared that the 85 million dollar financial disaster that befell AEG LIVE, a British promotions company, when Michael NAMBLA Jackson died at the hands of his three white children, will be paid back by the citizens of the United States in memory and appreciation of a great pervert and as a gesture of unity with the grieving Jackson family, which now includes Jesse and Jesse Jr. Our thoughts and prayers go out to everyone but the children whose lives were ruined by Michael's mouth around their penises.

Renowned Blogger Has To Backpedal

Your blogger, you may remember, three seconds ater the nigger child molester died, I said watch them try and find some white guy to pin this on. Turns out they are going to try and pin it on another nigger. My crystal ball is wrong 1% of the time and this might be one of those incidents. Still the crystal ball knew that the nigger jackson society and hangers-on were gonna try and make SOMEBODY other than the dead nigger responsible, because niggers are never responsible for anything they do, even dyin', but the crystal ball said it would be a white guy. So I guess I was wrong. Still, I notice my crystal ball is tellin' me somethin' right now, and it's "Don't be too hasty thinkin they're gonna go after this guy, it turns out he's pretty shady and the Jacksons and the Jackson Army of Molester Protectors - which is probably Congress - once they see how thick this nigger is involved in shenanigans, they might leave him alone: he just ain't innocent enough to railroad. My first guess is that the Jackson Nigger Army of Molester Protectors will try and blame the three kids Jackson kidnapped and owned. They're the most innocent victims of all so they would likely be next-candidates-for-blame numbers one two and three." So says the crystal ball. Hey, I'm just tellin' ya what it's tellin' me, let's see if the thing's right. 99% of the time it is.

The Future Looks Black. Nigger Black.

At the top of this is a picture of the "reverend nigger" nigger jesse jackson and i'm lookin' at the piece of shit standing next to him and I go "Who the fuck is that piece of shit nigger wannabe tough guy" and it turns out it's nigger jesse's son! I go, lookin' at the fucker, I go "Somethin' ain't right here." So I go lookin' for nigger jesse jr's, data and what do I find but a future campaign picture of this Sean John Puffy Combs Nigger Daddy Puff Fuck Doggy Dog wannabe and the flag he detests and the Black House behind him. Nigger Jesse Sr. is gettiin that little gay fucker douchebag son of his ready run for office. He better be queer or he ain't gonna win. But I'm sure he is. Haha you'll notice the dead man's dad is real cordial to any camera he sees even in his time of "grief." According to the dead guy THIS fucker was an even bigger son of a bitch than Vlad the Impaler. He seems overcome with sadness, don't 'e? HAHA even that camera whore jesse "babies a-plenty" jackson and his idiot douche son are showing a ton more propriety and mournfulness of demeanor and aspect than Pappa. The Old Man can't get ehough of the cameras! Mike's gone now, he has the whole Jackson "thing" this hisseff now, yowza "Fuck you, Son, now it be MY time ta shine ITE!!!" HAHAHAHAHAHA! Fuckin' niggers. They're a riot.

Dennis's Thoughts on Michael Jackson's Passing. (takin' the dirt nap)

HAHAHAHA he said that the flags at NAMBLA are at half-mast today. HAHAHAHAHA he said that God took Michael Jackson in order to apologize for giving us Obama. HAHAHAHAHAHA Dennis was watching the news and quoted one of the mourners outside Jackson's rented house. They asked her why she was there and she said "He be gib us songs we be can be dance to." Shit, I'm actually getting a bit weepy now.

Dead Child Molesting Nigger Update

Don't worry, children, Michael jackson is still dead, yaaaaaaaaay, but I did want to mentioned that I just learned that the three white children he has been imprisoning all their lives, they are all named Michael too. That's normal. That's not finding a new way to fuck with kids.

Today's Disease Scam, SMA

I noticed my Yahoo was crawling with "Defeat SMA" banners and cartoons and animations and flashing signs and a million other annoying things. I said immediately "Oh, today's money-raising tax scam, let's investigate!!!" I learned that SMA means spinal muscular atrophy. I think. I learned that "children with SMA are unusually bright and socially interactive and generally gifted." This I interpreted to be White Code Racist Cryptology for "SMA mostly strikes nigger kids." So I am concluding that SMA paralyzes the "nigger wires" in the spines of the little screaming maniacs to where they act more like children and less like chimpanzees on meth. So why would anyone want to cure this. I can only assume that SMA is an embarassment to the Negro Leaders because it demonstrates that niggerness - which is NOT "having black skin," mind you - it demonstrates that niggerness is a disease and that SMA cures it. So that's why they want to get rid of SMA. Because it turns niggers into normal people. Naturally I won't be cooperating with its eradication. I will be looking for ways to infect people with it.

Friday, June 26, 2009

The Electorate

The Electorate is everyone but you. Above is a sign by a member of the electorate demanding "climate legislation" immediately. In other words, this retarded imbecile wants people like the drunken Ted Kennedy and the crazed Nancy Pelosi to legislate earth's temperature. These people, this "electorate," truly believe that child molesters who live off others (or in other words, live off you) like parasites, and who cannot even manage an honest job for themselves, can alter the temperature of the sun. The sun, as you may have learned in kindergarten, is what determines the temperature on earth. Not Ted Kennedy or Nancy Pelosi or Al Gore, a fat man with a lisp and a fondless for cock in his mouth. No, it's the sun that determines earth's temperature. And this is why democracy is a joke. Because there is a lot more of the "electorate" than there is of you.

Sanford's Wife And Sanford's Mistress

Sanford's wife is in the chair and the mistress is the other one, the one that looks like a fucking Italian grandmother at a wake. The third woman is Miss Canada: she doesn't fit into any of this at all except as an example later in the post. But she does have a great cameltoe. Not to change the subject. Now, back to the governors wife and his mistress: talk about the frying pan and the fire. Oh-ho-ho MAN!! Ok, here's how this little spermfest in a teacup full of skanky grannys is gonna play-out: this "other woman" is more of a skank than the wife. So the wife will put up with that. If you - this is Primo Life Advice for you dudes, now - if you fuck someone the wife considers less hot than herself, the wife feels sorry for the mistress and thinks, "Shit, she really NEEDS a good fuck, the poor thing, I guess I can farm my old man out to her for a minute or two, no way he's gonna fall for her." Women know that it's only surface appearance that is a threat to them, they know that us men are shallower than a puddle of rat piss on the train tracks. But if the other woman is some fucking smoking hot piece of ass like Miss Canada (see above) the wife is gonna go for the fucking throat. She knows she can't compete with prime-cut pussy so she's gonna skin the guy's hide at the lawyer's office and hang his skin in her new 5-car garage. So this "affair" will blow over. Because the broad Sanfor's fucking on the sly is a fucking dungeon dweller. In fact the two broads will likely become friends because they're both real ordinary, and ain't never gonna ever get fucked by anybody ELSE except Cry-Baby-Man, and they will pro'bly get along with each other better than either of them ever really got along with the ugly dude. He's just a schlep social-catch anyway, just something to get invited to go to bureaucrat parties with. That's all he is. Both these broads know that. They'll pro'bly start fuckin' EACH OTHER, fa crise sakes. And not let Goofy even join 'em. They may BOTH agree to suck the guy's bank account dry in fact. Yup, I see these two broads becoming pals, they're both so fucking ugly. Now if this guy had had a half a brain here is how he would have handled this little indiscretion. He would have called the press conference and said "It's true; I did have uncontrollable passionate sex with that woman. Every time I see her my penis fills with enough blood to float an oil tanker. Sweat falls down the front of my face when I lay eyes on her and my testicles feel like they are vibrating like a tuning fork. She is the most beautiful sight I have ever seen. There is no way I can look at her and not become as erect as a caribou in September staring at Bambi's mother. The only solution that can possibly work is to either ship her to Mars or pluck my own eyes out, she is so beautiful." Everyone in the room, including the mistress would all look at each other and go "Huh???" The wife would eventually say to him "There's something seriously wrong with you, dear, I mean, I'm Elizabeth Hurley compared to her. You need to rest." He'd be off scott free. If you're gonna talk for the Press make it dirty or make it blasphemous or make it both. They'll love you for it and and will keep you famous forever just for the next press conference. The Press are all dirt-whores. So give 'em dirt. They're also all douches too. So just give 'em more dirt than they can handle. And that ain't hard. They can't handle a lot of much. Except nigger cock in the ass or gullet, or maybe a quarter, since 95% of them are Jews.

Good Idea For Owners Of Defunct Jackson Show Tickets

Dennis sent me this idea.....
"Fans will be able to use their Michael Jackson concert tickets to attend his funeral. Five lucky fans will be chosen to go back stage and look at and touch Michael in his coffin. Janet Jackson will be showing fans her tits after the funeral."
.....which after i thought abut it for a seoncd seemed pretty good. They could ship the dead child molester to Britain and carry his child molesting carcass around the arena and I am sure the ticket holders would like that just as much as seeing the 50 year old noseless zombie stagger through some songs and dances. In fact this would be better, he wouldn't get winded and people could get up to take a piss or go get a beer and come back and never miss anything because Jackson would just be laying there. But I don't know about Janet's tits. Latoya had better lookin' ones; she could fingerfuck herself on stage or something, that would be good.

This Just In

"Michael Jackson has left his Neverland Estate to the Catholic Church and it will be opened again as a child care center." D.O.

Iraqi Muslim Suicide Attacks Continue To Rise WOO HOO!!

The Americans are supposed to leave all Iraqi cities by next week. In celebration the Muslims are killing Muslims faster than ever. Watch Obama get all upset and order the Americans back in in order to save Muslim lives. Obama loves them sandniggers.


Some chick I know just sent me a joke. I am only printing the good part, 'cause, except for the ending, it's really good.

A Nun and a Priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel.
On the third day out,the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning..

After dusting themselves off, the Nun and the Priest surveyed their
situation. After a long period of silence, the Priest spoke. 'Well,
Sister, this looks pretty grim.'

'I know, Father. In fact, I don't think it likely that we can survive more than a day or two.'

'I agree,' says the Father. 'Sister, since we are unlikely to make it out of here alive, would you do something for me?'

'Anything, Father.'

'I have never seen a woman's breasts and I was wondering if I might see yours.'

'Well,under the circumstances I don't see that it would do any harm.'

The Nun opened her habit and the Priest enjoyed the sight of her shapely breasts, commenting frequently on their beauty.

'Sister, would you mind if I touched them?' She consented and he fondled them for several minutes.

'Father, could I ask something of you?'

'Yes, Sister?'

'I have never seen a man's penis. Could I see yours?'

'I suppose that would be OK,' the Priest replied lifting his robe.

'Oh Father, may I touch it?'

The priest consented and after a few minutes of fondling he was sporting a huge erection.

Los Fagleles Police Department

Watch the faggy LAPD figure out some way to blame some white guy for the dead nigger child molester's death. You heard it here first.

Congress Pauses To Mourn Child Molester

I am not making this up. The American House of Representatives paused today to offer a moment or two of silent tribute to Michael Jackson, the world's, and history's, most famous, most dedicated, most calculating, most creepy, most flagrant, most defiant, most single-minded, most ingenious, most career-goaled, most Satan-praising, and most industrious pedophile and most prolific creator of future deranged and suicidal adults. I guess they saw him as one of their own, so I guess I can understand their sorrow. Jackson was probably a Mason. Masons like pedophiles. They consider child molestation a form of worship. Most, if not all, Congressmen are Masons, so seeing a boy-fucker die, it's no surprise they are in grief. They should look at the bright side, it means more little boys for them. Anyway, here's the item. I ain't lyin'. Not this time.

" AP House pauses to remember Michael Jackson
1 hr 22 mins ago
WASHINGTON – The House of Representatives paused for a moment of silence Friday to mark entertainer Michael Jackson's death.
Lawmakers briefly interrupted a debate on a global warming bill to stand in silence and honor the "King of Pop."
Rep. Diane Watson of California rose during the debate to suggest the House "pay tribute to the culture that he has left behind, his legacy."
Watson said the lawmakers send their condolences to Jackson's family, friends and his fans worldwide.
Rep. Jesse Jackson Jr. of Illinois said the singer changed the world and he wants to "thank God for letting all of us live in his generation and in his era."
The 50-year-old musical superstar died Thursday after being stricken at his rented home in Los Angeles."

The Nigger's Health "Care" Plan

Here's the short version: the trillion dollar tax-funded health care plan is a health care plan for illegal Mexicans. The health "care" will be on a level with Soviet Russia in 1917 when THEY started the program that Obama admires so much and that we are about to copy, but bad as the health care will be, it will be like Cedars Sinai to the Mexicans since where they came from the health care is provided only by the buzzards that pick the dead bones in the street clean. All the buzzards are healthy in Mexico. All the excess money, and there will be LOTS of that, will go to individual Senators, Congressmen, State governors and city mayors. There is absolutely nothing complex about government operations, despite what msnbc and public television and cnn and the huffington post tell you. it's real simple. It's a shell game. From the cave days to right now, it's never changed. Chiefs and witch doctors taking the property of you the sucker reetard. HAHAHAHAHAHA

Fantastic Reality Show From Yours Truly

They oughta round-up the children of OJ, Michael Jackson, and Robert Blake's daughter Rose and put them all together and follow their day to day lives - what's left of their day to day lives, thanks to their folks. HAHAHAHAHA, Follow them around like they do the New Jersey Housewives or the Kardashians or Miss Clinically Depressed 2009, Denise Richards. That would have to be great, listening to them all talk about their parents and how great life is being their kids. Be a good show to advocate the licensing of parents with. You need a licence to fish, drive, and build an outhouse in the United States but not to breed kids and destroy their lives. HAHAHAHAHAHA

Dennis Will Help You Now

Does Michael Jackson wear a wig?

In this interview on TV it looks like his wig is falling off the top of his head-

So that's not his real hair then... he must be bald underneath???
8 minutes ago
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He has a small toupee for his balls.

Why are people showing grief at Michael jackson's death when they always made fun of him when he was alive?

Everyone made fun of MJ when he was alive and called him a zombie, pedophile, drug addict, crazy and used words like jacko whacko for him. They all made jokes of his appearence which was his own property. This all gave him mental dilemma and humilated his talent. Was this a pay off for his brillaint music and talent he had?

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My days as a child are filled with wonderful memories of being molested by my uncle Dave.
34 seconds ago

How did michael jackson become white?

some people said that he bleached his skin
8 minutes ago
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I was told that R Kelly was peeing on Michael Jackson
27 seconds ago
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Whatever happened to Michael Jackson's chimp, Bubbles?

Is he still alive? Where did he go?
12 minutes ago
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6 minutes ago
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He's the president of the United States.
4 minutes ago
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(apparently this first remark is a critique of Dennis' vocabulary)

Hello Don't really care (adamsozip),
You have received a message from another user!
From: No Picture™
Subject: RACEST
Message: You r a racest pig.Calling Michael Jackson a n**igg**er.Im not stewpid i no you just tryed to spells the N word so it looked deffirent. you have ben repportted too yahoo as a racest.
To continue the conversation, click this link:
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Thanks for using Yahoo! Answers.

Dear No Picture. Some of my best friends are Niggers.I have a nigger clean my house and a nigger who waxes my car and a nigger that makes sure the other niggers don't take any of my stuff.If you're a nigger and need a job my crapper could use a good cleaning.Thank you for the message you sent me .Is Mr.Jackson still dead?

Kind Of Funny Mike Jackson Eventuality

Michael Jackson had 50 shows scheduled in England in a large arena and they have all already been sold out. Needless to say he ain't gonna be makin' them appointments. What do you think them tickets cost apiece. Yeah, you guessed it, plenty. What do you think the chances o' them idiot child-molesting supporters getting their money back. Yeah, you guessed it, zero. That's funny.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Farrah Fawcett Eulogy

Farrah Fawcett was the first famous starlet to make a publicity photo that intentionally displayed visibly erect nipples. She was the Paris Hilton of her day. I'll do the Paris HIlton eulogy when she dies. And before she dies if she requests it. Other famous starlets had their nipples exposed, such as Sophia Loren and Jane Mansfield and Jane Fonda but these were all photos either from a movie or from a paparazzi incident. Farrah Fawcett was the first to break the "taboo that ruins careers," by intentionally producing a preplanned professional photo shoot that displayed her erect nipples. And she did this at the height of her popularity during Charlie's Angels. She managed to achieve this because the photo walked a tightrope that on both sides was a career-busting abyss and right in the middle was an exuberant smile that basically said "I really can't help it that my nipples are hard, it's just a curse I shall have to live with, fans!!" Now: IF SHE HANDN'TA BEEN NEUROTIC...she could have parlayed those majestic nipples of hers into a photographic fortune. She could have left film forever and could have been her own product, if, say, a career manager had hooked her up with an artsy photographer she would have been a gallery object selling photos for thousands of dollars. But no, she wanted to be "a serious actress." Like that's anything. Like they ain't all over the place. And which of them has trillion dollar pokies. None of them. Plus it is clear she was never comfortable with her famous nipples. God gave her the nipples, and probably expected her to make use of them, but apparently he forgot to give her the attitude and confidence to flaunt them until it was basically too late. She finally saw the light for an isolated photo shoot or two but still wanted to be "a serious actress." She would have gotten a lot more jobs if she had settled to be just a "non serious actress whose nipples everyone liked." Nipples on a chick last forever, practically, and it's never too late to be a nipple model if you have the erasers. Let that be a lesson to you youngsters with million dollar nips. Don't be stupid. Show 'em. Even though she was a carrier of prime nippage I have been thoughtful enough to include a picture of her twattage canyon. You're welcome.

Thought Of The Day

Michael Jackson is gone. If OJ and Obama died right now, niggerwise it would be a perfect day.

Michael Jackson Eulogy

Three children that we know of, Paris, Prince and "Blanket," can all breathe a sigh of relief that the fall of Mankind in Eden spelled a death sentence for us all, otherwise Michael Jackson would still be alive. And there are other children too, who will doubtless come out from hiding, who will rejoice along with myself that Michael Jackson is at last dead. God has said "I do not delight in the death of the wicked but want all men to be saved." God said that. I didn't. This is just one of the many ways that God and myself differ. I do delight in the death of the wicked and Michael Jackson was one of the most heinous human beings, or at least people with human DNA, who, up until today, ever lived. He liked to frighten children in order to get them to seek his comfort from the monsters he would present to them in order to frighten them. They would come to him so he could protect them from himself. But they were kids, they didn't know they were being fucked with. Once he did whatever he would do with their penises, it isn't likely that he then asked them to marry him in order to assuage their trauma that will last forever until they too die. No, he sent them home and brought in another batch to seduce and traumatize and ruin. He fucked with everything he came in contact with, including himself. He turned himself into a noseless, colorless, corpse. He was as lifeless in life as Andy Warhol was, but not as virtuous as Andy Warhol was. Andy Warhol never associated with children. It would never have occured to him. Little else occured to Michael Jackson. I know sane, well meaning people who actually say Michael Jackson was a child himself, that he could only relate to children. This is what they say. And apparently they mean it. In my world these people are called saps. Michael Jackson was a monster who spent his life creating more monsters. Who I am sure will slowly come crawling out from under the porches they are hiding under and have plenty of un-childlike things to reveal about their former playmate. None of it nice. So Michael Jackson is dead, so that means his pastime of presenting his penis to children is over. Which is good. So let's give Lucifer a handclap: he made it possible for Michael Jackson to die.

Forbidden Picture Of Mohammed Revealed

A miraculous picture of Mohammed appeared on the asshole of a camel today in Mecca. The camel was immediately killed and its pizzle used as an anal sex toy for the Saudi king while the sacred face of the Most Beloved Mohammed was buried deep in a cavern of one of the ass fissures of Barak Obama. It is forbidden to gaze upon an image of the Prophet who never prophesied anything. Everything else is ok, though. The more horrible the better. But anyone who looks at the image of Mohammed must be killed. Since Barak Obama's ass is so foul that not even a Muslim would want to look at it, the chances of idolatry via the Prophet are slim. May the holy balls of Allah slap against your chin in peace and prosperity and may the jizz of Allah splash against your face with everlasting gushyness if you are a man and with death and poison to your twatted crotch if you are a woman.

Michael Jackson Blamed Book For His Weirdness, Source Says

A source close to the dead body of Michael Jackson who wished to remain anonymous due to the anonymity of his remarks claimed that Michael Jackson blamed his weirdness and oddness on the book When Bikers Meet Humans. "This book has made me weird," the anonymous source said that Michael said in his high-pitched girly voice one day while licking the testicles of a cat. "I was a normal white skinned negro with a fondness for bare-knucked fighting, marlin fishing, and Kodiak bear hunting until I read this," Jackson is claimed to have said. "Then I went all delicate and dainty and you might even say sociopathically psychotically deranged." Asked how this was possible since Jackson had never read a book in his life except the childrens' book What Our Crotches Tell Us by "Anonymous," which he often read aloud to 7 year olds, the anonymous spokesman said "It has pictures that are not nice. There is a drawing of a teen's pussy in it that is not nice. Penises are nicer." Being reminded that there were actually also drawings of penises in the book, including the penis of a horse, a human, and a dog, the anonymous spokesman said, "Really?"

Snorgtees Ad Bitch

I want a blowjob from this broad.

Reports That Prince And Paris, Jackson's Two "Offspring," Are Anxious To Talk Declared False By Anonymous Spokesman

Reports that the two "Jackson children," Paris and Prince, can't wait to break their bonds and flee into the "real world," have been claimed false by a spokesman who wishes to remain anonymous due to the anonymity of his remarks. "There is no truth that they both screamed 'WOO HOO' when they heard of their 'father's' death," the anonymous spokesman said anonymously. "Nor is there any truth to the tell-all book deal they signed for an amount bigger than the Obama budget. That's just ridiculous. Nothing is bigger than the Obama budget,"