Thursday, August 27, 2015

Facebook Posts While In Facebook Jail

1. A school in the South has barred a band from playing a Christian hymn.
2. A city council in the South has banned the American flag.
3. Conservatives are confused about Trump. Democrats are starting to give him grudging respect. The reason Conservatives are confused about Trump is because he doesn't apologize when ordered to by the press. Democrats are starting to give him grudging respect because they know he knows they are weak and have no workable solutions to anything, all they know how to do is deplete morale, funds, enthusiasm, fun, and progress..
4. the Bible is a 4,000 year history of actual events controlled, influenced and manipulated by a being claiming to be The God Of Creation. The Koran is a book of no historical events, only proclamations by a man who didnt write anything down who claimed to be receiving instructions from an angel of the Bible about a deity named Allah who claimed to be "perfecting" the errors of the Bible and who had no history and who claimed to be unknowable and who issued threats and a behavioral code at complete odds with Biblical admonitions. To say both books are equally worthy of respect is borderline sociopathy.
5. I just emitted a 20 second flappy fart.
6. Cradle of Filth has the best album cover ever. The music probably reeks worse than goat cloaca but the cover depicts, I think, the meaning of life. At least for me.
7. “What we know is that the number of people who die from gun-related incidents around this country dwarfs any deaths that happen through terrorism,” the president added._____news item.
i hate this muslim faggot piece of islamic allah-fucking shit. how he manages to draw breath when so many people want him not only dead but dissolved in volcanic acid pretty much proves that "intention" and "putting bad vibes out there" are bad ways to get something done. actual physical action is apparently the key missing ingredient. I would ask God to kill him but I keep remembering that God didn't put him there. The American worship of the Constitution and Coonbama's indifference to it are what joined forces to put him there. I doubt that God likes the fucker any more than I do. But then God doesn't really like any of us, I suspect.
8. Glenn Beck has flown-off into some higher state of unconsciousness that is closer to new-age "we are gods" than it is anything resembling Christianity. I think he even says he gets messages from other beings now or else he is saying he has himself become a higher being. He refuses to even mention Trump's name, he has "forbidden" him as a topic. This is some sort of deranged state. Naturally he has a niche in Right Wing Radio.
9.some asshole said at the mall looking at some real fucked-up kid that had horns growing out of its face, he says "if there's a god he a real asshole." i felt it my christian duty to intrude upon his ignorance. I says "Ya know there's 3000 other kids in this fucking place that are not fucked up at all. Unlike you and that kid you're talking about." He's all "What you say, fuck???" I repeated "There's 3000 normal people in here that God also made. You seem to have set a pretty high bar for the creator of the universe: he fucks up once and you're all over his shit. I bet your house is spic and span. Not one pantyliners out of place." he looked at me real strange, like many people do. he was thinking, like many people do "is this fucking endentulate lizard nuts?....or is he carryin maybe a gun. i dunno. he knows a lotta big, busy sentences." he kind of slithered away, keeping an eye on me.

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Jorge Ramos-Trump Letter

Dear Donald Trump,

     I think the Univision reporter who got thrown out of the room should apologize for saying he could not be thrown out of a room. I guess because he was a reporter. He had his facts wrong. And had them wrong during a videoed broadcast. This is a clear case of misleading the public. I would like to submit an apology for him that perhaps you could have someone pass on to him:

     "Dear my fellow anti-Americans; I earlier reported that I could not be thrown out of a room, after which I was promptly thrown out of a room. At the time I was convinced that I could not be thrown out of a room because my superiors had informed me prior to the event that 'Don't worry, you cannot be thrown out of a room.' I believed what I had been told and proclaimed that belief to the people who were throwing me out of the room. It turns out I had been lied to. A journalist is required to believe everything that he is told and I think I was upholding long-standing journalistic traditions by repeating what I had been told and repeating it accurately; I had, in fact, been told that I could not be thrown out of a room. Imagine my shock, imagine my despair at seeing myself and the room being increasingly distanced from each other. I had not been told that I could not be moved-about within the room, so until I was actually out of the room I was not too concerned. But then it slowly became apparent to me that  me and the room were now in two different locations. I eventually had to confront the glaring reality that I had in fact been thrown out of the room. Even though I am a journalist and believed what I had been told. 
     "I do not blame myself. I do not even blame the people who threw me out of the room. Which clearly actually happened. I blame my sources. My superiors lied to me. I do have to admit I never actually tested or properly researched the validity of their claim at the time. I should have suggested that someone should try and remove me from a room and thus test the hypothesis. I blame myself for this. But I was told this by a fellow journalist. You can understand my childlike faith in the truth of his utterance.
     Now that it has been demonstrated that I can in fact be thrown out of a room I hope in the future my comrades-in-journalism will learn to question what they are told and perhaps, if necessary, actually investigate the truth of things. This is a small first step and one that will be met with resistance. However I feel that ignoring this advice will only result in more journalists being thrown out of rooms. Something that until now we have probably all assumed was impossible." 

J.J. Solari

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

The Trump Revolution Letter

                                                                                                                                            photo:jj solari
                                                   the nature of the trump revolution

Dear Donald Trump,
     You are the first candidate for President since the days of the Founding Fathers who can actually do something. The closest runner up would be Ronald Reagan and all he could do was read the words someone else wrote for him while he was being photogenic. How many "Reagan" buildings were ever erected? There were a few marquees with his name on them. But not too many skyscrapers.

     Look at the picture on the other page of this. It's a name towering between earth and sky. There is no other name in sight there is no other person in sight. There were a lot of people on the terrain covering the area between where I was and where the tops of those distant hills are. 
     None of their names are visible in this panorama. 
     Only one name is. Trump. And this building in the middle of the sky is not on fucking Easter Island or on the edge of some godforsaken tundra in Siberia. It's inside the three and a half mile strip of roadway that is visited by 40 million people a year. And they come from all over the planet. If there were people on Mars they'd becoming from there too.

     I have actually heard people say "Well, what has Trump done in politics?" Well, he hasn't done anything in politics. That's why everything is upsidedown and ass fucking backwards.

     "But he has no experience." Bubba Hussein Obama had none either and he's still lucky if he gets his name on a t-shirt, much less a building.

     Trump will usher in the the new beginnings of the virtues of capitalism in America, where people will make money instead of begging for it from the government. 

     And I for one feel fortunate to have lived to see it starting at last.


J.J. Solari

Sunday, August 23, 2015

to trump about chuck todd

chuck turd

dear Donald Trump

     You sure had a lot more patience with that intrusive blathering pile of idiotic idiot-shit Chuck Todd than i would have. At his first interruption i would have had the sole of my foot hard into his excuse for a face with that molestache on it and he would have been sliding, chair and all, on his back into the far wall. 
     And then i would have walked over to him and leaned down and finished what i was saying. 
     Then i would have gone back to my chair and sat down and waited for him to get up and try again. 
     I guarantee you he would be trying hard not to interrupt from that point on


J.J. Solari.

trump and lincoln

trump vs lincoln

Dear Donald Trump,

   From the looks of things it's pretty clear that as President you're gonna be the exact opposite of Abraham Lincoln. As you know, he was our most idiotic President, declaring war on his own Country, and of course he is the President that the Kenyan In Chief most ardently admires, for that reason.

     You, on the other hand, appear to be about to bring America together.

     Lincoln and Trump, Trump and Lincoln. There could not be two more natural mortal enemies. Lincoln not only declared was on the Country he was leading - once he won it he declared Universal Slavery for it's citizens. This is called the Thirteenth Amendment. Which apparently nobody has ever actually read. Other than me, it looks like. But then I always was a good reader. My reading comprehension skills are actually through the fucking roof. What can I say. It's a gift. I have great genes. 

     Lincoln pulled off the most amazing hoax in history with the possible exception of Obama claiming to be a citizen of the USA: he fought a "war to free the slaves" and then made everyone eligible for slavery as long as "due precess for admittance to slavery" was followed. Whatever the fuck due process even is. I guess it means "whatever the fucking process actually is."

     The 13th Amendment took slavery out of private hands - where it actually did some good - and put it exclusively in government hands: where all it does is destroy everyone, black, white, brown, yellow, red, or rainbow. Which we actually now have! We have rainbow people. Fantastic.

     I hear you have a problem with the 14th Amendment. You think that one is fucked up you oughta read the 13th.

    I think I'm done.

     Thank you.

     God bless you.


J.J. Solari

to trump about jeb

 jeb " the black hand" bush

Dear Donald Trump,

     I seen that picture of Bush with the black hand, and your post that "He just can't get it right." And I mean that hits the nail on the head. He can't even strike a pose that looks intelligent, forget about him trying to delve into Photoshop. He's standing with a shirt a first-grader at a special-needs school wouldn't wear without getting pissed off. But Jeb?....he wears that shirt like they were made for each other.

     What the fuck is with all these candidates anyway, they go a-stumping in a shirt with the sleeves rolled up like as though they actually know what physical labor is. How the fuck hard is it to stand in one place and yammer? You really need to roll up your sleeves for that? 

      And Jeb, being the fucking clueless yokel that he is, he doesnt even have a white shirt on. I guess his mom knows he will have it filthy in two seconds.

     And am I the only one who has noticed that he's cross-eyed? And those mason-jar lenses on his spectacles don't do anything to reduce the cockeyed-thousand yard stare that bonehead manages to manifest and then call it "grinning." I mean, he looks stupid even for stupid. The School for Stupids wouldn't let him in. He'd accidentally injure everybody. 

     You gotta know he wears zipper-free trousers. There is no way he could push his dick aside and zip up his pants simultaneously. He would be spending his life doubled-over screaming in pain, flesh and metal locked in a hellish embrace of torment with Jeb making things even worse by trying to free the mess with violent jabs of a knife. He likely stays naked as much as possible. Just to avoid trips to the hospital.

J.J. Solari 


Me And Facebook

Once again I have been thrown off facebook for typing the word nigger. Amy white had informed me - on facebook - that she had been banned for a month. I said "whatdja do, write the word nigger?" Facebook then informed me that I was banned for a month for writing nigger. Which of course they can do, Facebook is their property and they can kick anyone out for any reason. It's not like I pay to be there. Hahahahaha, that's funny just writing it. The idea that I would do that. Pay to be on facebook. I should be getting paid to be on facebook, I am by far the most fascinating entity there. How Amy had informed me via facebook that she was off facebook.....this is still kind of a puzzle in my head. But i took the opportunity to get myself thrown off by asking her what I did. I of course knew the consequences, and I need 30 days away from facebook to focus on my personal relationship with Trump. Do you have a personal relationship with Donald Trump? I am trying to establish one. Because my one unobtainable wish in life that I cannot do on my own without trespassing is to stand on the roof of the Trump building in Las Vegas in the evening while smoking a cigar. To do this I might have to become an advisor to the President. He might let me up there if I am telling him how to handle different global situations. Now you might say, and this would be the first thing to pop into your head "I think he seems to know how to handle situations." To this I would say I think he might be a bit unsure about a few things, a few rarified philosophical and theological and cultural areas in which I am a self-proclaimed expert par exelahnsss. That's french. I get around, motherfucker, I have a degree of  class, goddamn fuckin' A.
     Getting back to facebook. And the word nigger. It will be a cold day in hell before JJ Solari is forbidden to write a particular word. Writing words is all I know how to do except for a few remarkable tap steps. How the word nigger became fucking sacrosanct...well, that's happening in a universe that I am happy to take a shit in as often as possible. And keep in mind that the only reason this blog exists is because the nigger obama was elected fucking president. when he is gone and trump is in I will likely stop this blog, assuming the nigger obama basically disappears from public life. I might even stop using the word nigger. Because he is the reason I started using it at all in public discourse. I have used it in fiction when spoken by a "character." but very rarely. I think I did it once in a story about a nigger. It was a rare event, I don't write fiction about niggers, just white people. Usually bikers. That's sort of my fiction arena.
     So anyway I was kicked off again. with the notation that "you seem to do this a lot." I can still SEE facebook because they would not want me to miss the ads. I can monitor the site and my "page." and everyone else's page. but i cannot comment.
     Like I say i did this on purpose. i need a month off from that heinous drug. I mostly use it as a notebook anyway. I jot down my social and philosophical and comedic insights so that i dont have to use paper. PLUS the world gets to see them. even when i am banned.
    now, about the word nigger. only white people have a problem with this. whitey is of course in retreat. whitey is weak. but this whitey right here is not weak. he keeps writing nigger. solely because it is a forbidden word. because it is so hard-hitting. it undoes decades of propaganda that niggers are
"normal people." well, they are normal people on the veldt. But they are far from normal in an industrial Western civilization. And they refuse or are incapable of adapting. Like the Navajo. they should be on reservations. Really. On a reservation they would have nothing but dirt, which is all they aspire to: living in the dirt. But they want to wreck White World first. So that they won't have any competition in the dirt or any thing to aspire to. If whitey is gone they can relax in their own insistent primitive lifestyle where dancing, killing and raping are the accepted norm. the word "nigger" presents this entire Negro Universe in its entire disgusting horror. And since niggers are the "proletariat" that will never advance past that lowly stage, it is necessary for the political universe - the universe of compulsion - to keep them around. In fact the latest "we need niggers" slogan is "black lives matter." No one ever explains why. Why do they matter? No one has one reason. Not one all negro country is civilized. Even though they all now have constitutions. which are supposed to be civilizing agents. apparently this is not the case. every negro nation is devoid of light, water, roads, shelter, commerce, industry, and business suits. All they have is squalor and body counts. because this is all niggers are comfortable with. and using the word "nigger" brings all this truth and reality immediately to mind. why blame me that niggers are niggers? i didnt do this to them. they're self-starters in niggerness. i just type a word.
     like i say i dont have a problem with facebook having an anti-nigger rule. that's fine. but it hasnt retrained me out of my naughtiness. it's just made it worse. now i say nigger even though i dont actually need to say it or want to. i just do it to keep my hand in. because i am a writer. i am THE writer. and i use words. all of them. no words are off limits. not even nigger. thank you.