Israel Asks for a King
8 When Samuel grew old, he appointed his sons as Israel’s leaders.[a] 2 The name of his firstborn was Joel and the name of his second was Abijah, and they served at Beersheba. 3 But his sons did not follow his ways. They turned aside after dishonest gain and accepted bribes and perverted justice.
4 So all the elders of Israel gathered together and came to Samuel at Ramah. 5 They said to him, “You are old, and your sons do not follow your ways; now appoint a king to lead[b] us, such as all the other nations have.”
6 But when they said, “Give us a king to lead us,” this displeased Samuel; so he prayed to the Lord. 7 And the Lord told him: “Listen to all that the people are saying to you; it is not you they have rejected, but they have rejected me as their king. 8 As they have done from the day I brought them up out of Egypt until this day, forsaking me and serving other gods, so they are doing to you. 9 Now listen to them; but warn them solemnly and let them know what the king who will reign over them will claim as his rights.”
10 Samuel told all the words of the Lord to the people who were asking him for a king. 11 He said, “This is what the king who will reign over you will claim as his rights: He will take your sons and make them serve with his chariots and horses, and they will run in front of his chariots. 12 Some he will assign to be commanders of thousands and commanders of fifties, and others to plow his ground and reap his harvest, and still others to make weapons of war and equipment for his chariots. 13 He will take your daughters to be perfumers and cooks and bakers. 14 He will take the best of your fields and vineyards and olive groves and give them to his attendants. 15 He will take a tenth of your grain and of your vintage and give it to his officials and attendants. 16 Your male and female servants and the best of your cattle[c] and donkeys he will take for his own use. 17 He will take a tenth of your flocks, and you yourselves will become his slaves. 18 When that day comes, you will cry out for relief from the king you have chosen, but the Lord will not answer you in that day.”
19 But the people refused to listen to Samuel. “No!” they said. “We want a king over us. 20 Then we will be like all the other nations, with a king to lead us and to go out before us and fight our battles.”
21 When Samuel heard all that the people said, he repeated it before the Lord. 22 The Lord answered, “Listen to them and give them a king.”
PART ONE - EXAMINING THE TOILET FROM THE OUTSIDE
Apparently the winners of the American Revolutionary War, who were the first since Samuel's flock to be the only free people on earth - apparently the winners of the American Revolutionary War decided they too needed a king, and never, apparently, having actually read the Bible that they all claimed to revere and admire, and thus ignorant of the precedent cited above, they decided that being free was just not for them and that a ruler of some sort was required. What they got, however, instead of a king, since that's what England had and that didn't work, was a Constitution! Or in other words they got the first king in history to be made out of paper!
Nowadays, of course, every country on earth has a constitution because, well, America created one out of thin air and look at them, they now have Hollywood and railroads and an airline industry and cars of all things and a petroleum empire, and normal, non-royal, citizens are becoming arrayed finer than not only Solomon but the lilies of the field as well, so, why don't we do the same; "I say to you my fellow cannibals from the Congo, Chiefs Bundolo, Kreegah, Hathor and Tantor, let's make our nations of Somalia and Fucking Egypt and Jesus Fucking Christ Mongolia great too, howz about it, Buckwheat, why don't we - all of us backwards third world fucking pestholes full of shit - write a magical constitution too!"
"Yass SUH, Mistah Benny!"
And thus it came to pass that now all nations have one of these fucking things. And look how well they're all doing!
The problem with all this constitutionalism mania now gripping the planet thanks to us is America didn't become great because of the Constitution. It became great because the Constitution, onerous though it is, just hadn't yet created for itself enough clout and power strong enough to control all the progress being made during its infancy mode when actually Liberty was flourishing unimpeded, and therefore the Constitution was thus unable to slow a Truly Free America back down to the age of savagery and prehistory yet. But here in 2013, with the Constitution having come into Full Power And Might, and after the USA having achieved no actual progress of any kind since Abe Lincoln decided to declare war on his own country - something actually not covered in the Constitution - you can walk down any street in America and notice that the main industry now in the 21st Century in the good ol' USA is not oil or trains or planes or skyscrapers or mines or industry or space travel or planet exploitation or teleportation but rather the sidewalk cafe! And the corner fruit stand! - which for the time being is presently disguised as the colloquially termed "roach coach." Yes, that's right, the Mexican lunch wagon is the enterprise that is all the rage and the goal to reach-for among the American entrepreneurs and inventors of today. The fucking Rolling Burrito Truck is the future of the American Capitalist today in the Land of Opportunity.
It's not a fucking accident that the Constitution is destroying, rather than creating, the United States of America.
All you have to do is read it and see for yourself that it is probably the worst idea in the history of Man since the execution of Jesus. Not to mention the worst writing ever penned. I guess that's why none of those guys that signed the thing ever made it as novelists and poets and essayists and humorists. Except for Ben Franklin. I don't know what he was doing with all the rest of those cranial amputees. Maybe he liked all the cock.
Well, enough small talk, what exactly is the Constitution.
God dammit, mofo, I am glad you asked.
The Constitution is basically the secular version of the Kabbalah - a superstitious, mystical, sorcery-like roadmap to perfection but applied to a governing body and its subjects in a novel, new, reduced, succinct, easy-to-read-and-implement form. It is the function and spirit of the Kabbalah put into a practical manual of application that is then declared, without consultation with the people it will affect, as the road to Perfection. It is Scientology with taxation instead of a " mandatory donation chart." it is Middle Eastern mysticism extracted from the Egyptian magicians who the Israelites never lost their love affair with despite all of God's efforts to the contrary. It is a polyglot of random and goofy organizational charts and rule by wise elders via formulas and rites siphoned from Greece and Rome and Phonoecia and Assyria and fucking Ur, combined with more charts and meetings-schedules and jobs-from-nothing creations in the "public" sector, which means the ineffective and incompetent sector and which also means the sector you have no control over but which does control you, and assignments, and duties, and, yes punishments for everyone in the country!… even though only a few people in the Country were involved in its drafting - and I am sure you weren't one of them - and which notions and cute arrangements and heretofores and hences and thus sayeths are condensed into proclamations and affirmations and edicts and decrees of absolute gay-garden-party blather created by nationless foppish dandies homesick for the rod and whip of England, and who, after lots and lots of chit-chat, and hackings of the nuts, and fartings in rooms filled with other men in their underwear amidst playful touchings of penises with delicate fingertips of love and desire by other fellows….. all this pompous, windbag, gay, better-than-thou crapola was then written down on the skin of a goose with a pen made from the feather of a duck and declared The Will of God rather than the will of 5 or 6 dozen presumptuous blowhards with ugly nagging wives.
And that's what the Constitution is.
If the skin of a goose and the quill of a duck are the instruments you are using to "create utopia for all mankind and to be a beacon to all in the universe who seek wisdom and truth and justice" and you don't even have electricity, then you really need to rethink all this pompous optimism and vaulting self-delusion when what you are creating this spectacular Miracle of The Future with is the feather of a duck being applied to the skin of a goose by the light of a fucking candle.
Now someone once said to me, hey, they didn't really write the Constitution with the feather of a duck onto the skin of a goose; it was written with the feather of a duck onto pulpified tree bark.
I said to that person, "You are right: I shall throw in the towel."
He seemed happy and was in the middle of extending his hand to congratulate me on what a good sport and noble soul i was when I immediately began to yell and scream and to beat him to a blood-erupting pulp with a piece of metal pipe and continued yelling at him while he was down on the ground and losing consciousness, informing him politely "I lied about throwing in the towel! And fuck you and your fucking tree bark!!"
The problem, of course, was that he was a fucking dumbass fuck. it doesn't really matter if the Constitution wasn't written upon the skin of a goose if it adds to the mood and the gestalt that I am trying to impart to the dazed and confused "white, Christian Americans" who are wandering around in a blind furor, confused about what is happening to "their Country," and being all blustery and with their fists raised against the air and shouting "out of my cold dead hands, mother fucker!!" and other such oaths of prophesy which will actually turn out to be false. Because, actually, they will hand-in their guns without a fuss because if they don't the cops that they are paying to protect them will arrest them. Because If they didnt use their guns to stop the collapse of their liberties during the first 250 years of the Constitution's slow overhaul of the 13 colonies into the 50 serfdoms of Washington DC then it ain't likely they are going to become suddenly brave at the confiscation of their gun collections now.
For 250 years Americans have been calmly cooperating with the government the Faggoty Fathers created, and suddenly at the thought of losing their teeny firearms they are going to get brave against the tank turret on their front lawn pointed at their house? I don't think so, Sparky. Especially if their reward for being cooperative is to not be imprisoned into one or more of the many prisons already installed and operating by one of the many law enforcement officers who are also already installed and operating here in the land of the free.
Now, Buford, as long as I have you here, try and tell one of these patriotic dunces above-mentioned that it is the Constitution that has put them into this quagmire of total and utter chaos that they are calling law and order; and which they are also calling liberty and freedom; even though it is in reality not law and order; and it is not liberty and freedom; it is regulation and restriction and confiscation of their stuff and imprisonment. But try telling one of these happy flag wavers - well, now they're mostly scowling happy flag wavers 'cause since Obama they know something is really wrong - try telling them this. If you've lost your place, try telling one of these bulging-bellied patriots living with question marks over their heads that it is the very Constitution that they are bowing down to that put them in this lifelong "duty to my government" prison-without-bars in the first place.
Inside the borders of this Land you hold so dear and are prepared to die for for some reason; a reason probably put into your head by someone else; who apparently didn't like you; and who you believed; probably because you trusted them; probably because it was one of your parents. - inside the borders of this Land you hold so dear, you are being daily more-constricted into absolute motionless by the anaconda-brained suffocation-machine known as the Constitution.
"Oh, well, now, sir, if you don't like it here, asshole, why don't you just fucking leave." Yeah, well, I would leave if the fucking traffic on the Constitutional road system would allow me to get to my new country before I starved to death in traffic, and assuming i don't get jailed on my way out because I haven't paid my yearly Constitutional registration on the car I can never actually own since it can be confiscated, pink slip and all, if I don't pay the yearly Constitutional fee to have the enjoyment of the shitty roads and the shitty traffic flow and the shitty everything else operated by government, or if I can manage to get gas in the car from the Consitutionally-controlled-and-regulated-and-taxed-and-fined-and-told-how-to-make-gasoline oil industry, assuming there's actually any gas at all in the pumps since the Constitutionally controlled Terrain Police may have shut the station down due to "Constitutional storage-tank violations" that could harm the dirt, so fuck you and your customers, asshole gasoline seller, because the Constitution is worried about dirt and making the Country safe for dirt since dirt is more important than you, do you not have any sympathy for the fucking dirt, Sir? You fucking prick? You dirt hater? So yeah, I would leave if I could afford the inflated gas with the worthless paper money created by the Something-th Amendment to the Fucking Constitution to buy the highly taxed and almost uncombustible gasoline mandated by the Fucking Constitution, which also determines and decrees by the righteousness of the Fucking Constitution, which monitors and commands every aspect of American life now, what you can sell and who you can sell it to and what you can live in and who you can rent to and who you can hire and what you have to pay them and what you can say and what you can buy and what you can legally own and what you can eat and what you can fuck and how much ass-wipe you can use a month due to Constitutionally Created tree shortages in order to Save The Planet from your clean rectum. Here's a better idea; why don't you leave 'cause you're a fucking piece of stupid fuckass shit? How's that, you semen-sipping dunce? How about you leaving because you fucking bother me?
Now a lot of Americans consider the above short list of tyrannical edicts under which they are living and playing "freedom."
This is what is called Cult-inflicted Bizarro Thinking Inside A Completely Empty Head. That's the technical term for it.
You would think that this revelation about you being - quite simply - brainwashed, would cause you and the the average person next to you reading over your shoulder to suddenly develop a little more respect for the sinister power of Kabbalah, wouldn't you? But that's not the case. People who have made a very long - actually lifelong - commitment to the belief in a huge load of magical mystical superstitious nonsense from ancient Egypt and Assyria and Ur of the fucking Chaldees and who the fuck knows from where else in the dirty woodpile of human Satan-worshipping history… these people are not going to ever throw these anchor-points of their life away, even though the anchor points of their lives are hauling them straight down into the darkness of the eternal, silent suffocating, compressing deep-end of the pool, and won't listen at all, even it's brought to their attention that these anchor points of their lives are a decreed acceptance of "Pursued Human Perfection," or in other words the idea that utopia and "the perfect man" - which is kind of a gay notion anyway, the perfect man - can be created by fiats dreamed up by Wise Men Far Wiser Than You In Understanding And Far Nobler Than You In Inherent Virtue. These would be the Founding Fathers of course, and anyone since them now in office or wearing a badge.
To reiterate, the image in the minds of the Constitutional Cult People, which very likely includes you, is that the completely idiotic and preposterous Constitution creates something vaguely referred to as freedom, or justice, or equality, or prosperity, or harmony, or holiness, or righteousness, or fairness, or happiness, or stability, or tranquility, or safety, or Hot 'N' Spicy Cheez-its. That somehow it does this.
God creates freedom. Not the Constitution. The truth creates freedom. Not the Constitution. The Constitution creates confusion and chaos and punishment and restriction and stagnation, and is doing it now, virtually, at everything, and in everything, and to everything, and with everything. Nothing escapes the chaos, confusion and punishment and restriction and stagnation that the Constitution bequeaths. British faggots in toreador pants with their cocks and balls pressed visibly against their thighs and wearing womens' wigs do not create freedom and liberty and justice for all. No. British Faggots in toreador pants with their cocks and balls pressed visibly against their thighs and wearing womens' wigs create tyranny. And for a very simple reason: because tyranny was all they knew! THEY WERE BRITISH, ASSHOLE!! WHEN YOU ARE BRITISH AND YOU DECIDE TO CREATE A COUNTRY YOU CREATE BRITAIN!!! AND BRITAIN WAS A TYRANNICAL FUCKED UP NATION THEN, AND IT'S A TYRANNICAL FUCKED UP NATION NOW, AND IT ALWAYS HAS BEEN AND IT ALWAYS WILL BE!!
New England, "where liberty was born," wasn't called New England because it was America. It was called New England because it was New England. It still is. New Englanders are the most backward hicks in the whole United States. If you transported them all to King Henry the 8th's England they would feel like a miracle of homecoming had just occurred. Naturally New Englanders are convinced that they are the entire United States and the smartest people on earth. No one who ever leaves New England ever returns, you may have noticed. Because their eyes open upon leaving. On the other hand very few New Englanders are aware of anything west of New England so they rarely leave. They do have some notion of something called "Europe" because that is where their dark empty hearts still are and the odd New Englander will actually go there to see grey and dingy medieval-living first hand.
When the Revolutionary War was won, the combatants and those kinfolk of the combatants, were the first truly free people in the history of recorded human history. Naturally the faggots wearing the tights and the wigs who were British were very uncomfortable with this situation. Not living under a king they were lost and afraid because their entire culture was rooted in kingship and not having one meant they had no culture and having no culture meant having no identity because individuals identify with things outside themselves because things outside themselves, nebulous and intangible as they might be, are still less nebulous and intangible than the identity of actual individuals because actual individuals are unspecific imbeciles, too lazy and disinterested in themselves to make any effort to acquire an individual identity. They need a group to attach themselves to spiritually, emotionally and psychologically because it's so much easier, otherwise they flounder and flop on the ground and gasp for air and die.
Most of the founding faggots were not only British they were Masons. Masons are people who think they can attain godhood by learning the secrets of attaining godhood. Now, you would think that attaining godhood would be something they would willingly share with everyone. But this is not the case. It is, oh my, so very carefully guarded that long before you learn the secrets of godhood-attainment you have to prove yourself worthy of keeping your mouth shut in mundane matters. In fact you have to keep your mouth shut about such mundane matters as murder and theft and human sacrifice and the cannibalistic eating of the hearts of the victims of the sacrifices - usually babies so who cares - and homosexual acts committed in front of others, sometimes with blindfolds involved and sometimes not but always with the buttless apron of embroidered delights being worn coquettishly around the pastey naked thighs, oh my! Once it is clear you can be trusted with tut tut these paltry sorts of secrets, you know, the kinds of secrets mere mortals worry about hiding, only then can you advance to being trusted with the secrets of divinity!
But most Masons never get to this level. Which of course doesn't actually exist. Most Masons just get to the "we are the sole improvers of Mankind" level. Which is the rather silly level that all Kabbalah Kults, which would include such modern day clown performances as Scientology and Jehova's Witnesses and Catholicism and Mormonism and the Hindu spiritualism abysses of emptyness; they all proclaim "improving mankind" as their specialty; "making men better." And better always means gayer to these people. That's when you start to get better. When you start sucking cock. Islam of course is the Mother Lode of Kabbalah, it is Kabbalah on meth with a steroids-soaked-in-Benzadrine chaser. But you would never get a Kabbalahite to believe that and a Muslim would actually have no idea what you were talking about because Muslims are not only dimwits they are basically human extensions of Satan in the flesh and therefore too frenzied and erratic to actually focus on so bothersome a detail as a fact. They don't realize they are demonic of course because it is actually now embedded into Arab DNA at conception. Muslims are basically a people who are conceived possessed. That's how fucked up they are. This of course flies in the face of science even if Satan actually does exist. But I'm sticking with my story.
The founding faggots were not Muslims of course, even though Masonry does include an almost astounding number of Islamic symbols and Middle Eastern Kabbahlik Krap shit and the extremely GAY apron device which no grown man with barbed wire and landmines around his asshole would ever wear even alone much less in the presence of other "men."
Masons like Islam because Islam specifically attacks Jesus Christ as God. Something no other global religion does. It is extremely important to Muslims that Jesus not be thought of as God by anyone, Muslim or not. Masons admire this, they being gods themselves, and see spiritual brethren in Muslims.
The reason Islam has an antipathy to Jesus is because it is a deeds-oriented heretical cult derived from a cult, the original cult being Catholicism, which is a cult derived from Judaism with peripheral nods and salutes to Pharaoh, Astarte, Demeter and a few other pagan entities and practices. And all cults instinctively detest Jesus because Jesus represents liberty. So Islam is a third generation cult, a child of Judaism and Catholicism, created by a genuine lunatic and sociopath and very likely a self-hating Catholic Jew. And thief; he not only stole souls and property and lives, he stole bits and pieces of the old and new testaments and wrapped them all inside some really bad writing and make-believe Bible prose. It's kind of like the book of Mormon, with its "and lo"s and "behold"s and "thus sayeth"s and "do not do as do the" whoever doth do things, and "offend not the man with one testicle for he needeth doth his sustenance as doth do thine doth self. Therefore doth be unto him gracious while killing the infidel, for the infidel is an eternal offense to Allah, who is merciful and who toucheth himself daily in gay delightfulness via the anus." You know, really bad derivative shit like that that Christian madmen always write like when they declare themselves emissaries of the God of Israel, or in Islam's case, the god of anti Israel.
But not all the founding faggots were Masons, though a surprising number were, considering Masonry had only just begun. In Europe, of course, the perennial pesthole of evil for white men. The rest of the founding fairies were just pontificating Protestants, or else something called "freethinkers" which can be translated as "haters of Yahweh and Jesus." Jesus and Yahweh always seem to come up short and covered in shit with magical cults. I guess they know who their real enemy is. Thomas Paine was one of these wise men, very capable in lighting the fires of anger in his readers and getting them into a state of riotous murder for the purpose of killing everyone in charge and putting themselves in charge. He was also the father of Agrarian Reform, the solid and basic cornerstone of Marxism. For some reason this is not emphasized in State-mandated "schools" but perhaps they just have not run across the data yet, because they would be delighted to see the American Constitution, the framework for global socialism throughout the planet, in a bright shining light of One World Government they might not have realized surrounded it. Thomas Paine was also the mortal enemy of Jesus of Nazareth, the first and practically only promulgator of laissez-faire capitalism in history. Its almost as though Paine had an inside tunnel to Hell itself where he espied the Truth and how to pervert it and with the help of his mentor Satan at his ear he formulated a way to take the history of Western Civilization out of the hands of the spiritual lineage of David which inhabited the thrones of Europe and the Vatican and decided to place it instead into the clutches of Lucifer, a plan no doubt derived from the groundbreaking work of Mohammed. And where do we find ourselves today on this planet of constitutions?….at the brink of a complete Muslim takeover of the human species.
Thanks Constitution! Thanks Founding Freethinkers! Thanks Muslim Allies who took America out of the hands of the British royalty and put it into the hands of the British Satanists. Talk about frying pan to fire.
Astoundingly, Rednecks call all of this suffocation "liberty," or "freedom." or some damn thing. They're pissed because they think the Constitution is being usurped. How do you usurp a blueprint for slavery? You are the one that got usurped the day the Constitution kicked into operation. Which was, incidentally, just some arbitrary date when all the parties got done adding their two cents worth of handcuffs to the lives of the newly and temporarily free "American Citizens" of the land. Then they all waggled their cocks at each other and said "Congratulations, we have a Republic, let us see if we can keep it" and then ejaculated onto each other's gay little ruffled shirts and then dropped their breeches and bent over and mooned each other, with anal penetration optional. There were of course no women present. A bunch of men who were henpecked by their wives all their lives decided to get even by declaring themselves a government over YOU in a room by themselves and on a day when no women were present or probably even knew what they were up to.
And so now here you sit, looking at your idiotic voting ballot and saying things like "Well, we're not a perfect government but what we have is better than what everyone else has got!!" So, tell me, Master Observer, have you been hearing that little piece of noise anywhere near as much these days as you heard it say 30 years ago? No. Because now when you say it a lot of Americans go "This is better??? Holy shit!!"
The people who are defending the Constitution the loudest are always people who have never read it. And of course if they did read it they would be able to make no sense out of it because who can read in 2013? Nobody. But let's pretend that they actually could read. Well, then, they would be able to make sense out of it because it is very clear about everything. It's almost exhaustingly clear. It deliniates more fucked up douchebag faggot prancing crap than the bylaws of the crossdressing society of Santa Monica. It's like something a room of uppitty anti-dust freaks decided to toss together just to keep their uppityness in good working order. You want blathering committee-meeting rules? Read the Constitution, you'll come away throwing up your lunch in disgust and confusion and wondering when it was you got onto the Gay Train To Nowhere. It's a morass of idiotic gay edicts and rituals and dance patterns and signs and portents in printed form. It is the angels and the devils having a drunken orgy wrapped in loose yarn and rolling around on the floor and then solidifying the yarn and the angels and devils disappearing and leaving the yarn and that's the Constitution. It is a labyrinth of byzantine complexity over nothing and decrees more edicts in 7 one-sided sheets of paper in sort of widely spaced letters than Caligula and Nero and all the Caesars managed to do in 500 years. And then do you know what it does? It attempts to restrain this monstrosity it creates with ten "permissions" for allegedly you that shall not be usurped by the rest of the paperwork. The "permissions" are things you allegedly get to still do even though this creature was created to attempt to try and stop you from doing it. It's like a sadistic russian roulette machine, this Constitution, this construction of really bad writing and even worse rules. And all of them aimed right at you, citizen. Whether you like it or not. And if you really actually read it you wouldn't like it, fucker.
At this point in your Introduction To What The Fuck Is Going On In America you should be saying to me, "Ok, let me see if I have this right:….they created an omnipotent machine out of thin air and proclaimed it The Paper King; and then they added a list of restrictions to its omnipotence?…..why would it obey them if it was the King?" And, congratulations, you are very astute and a good student, I am thinking about giving you an A, and unless those tits are fake, I think a blowjob from you would almost guarantee it. And you are right, what would induce an omnipotent entity to pay any attention to restrictions? And now let me ask the Founding Faggots a logic question, and since they are all brilliant lawyers and statesmen and land owners and dignitaries and very big men in the community, this should be not too tough for them, but tell me, Founding Fathers of mine, if you thought you had to restrain it's immensity because it was too potentially lethal, why the fuck did you create it at all?
Do you hear that, class?…and especially you with the nice tits that I hope are real?….. did you hear the Founding Fathers' response?…. no, of course you did not hear it, because they are not answering! One reason being, because they are all fucking DEAD. And the other reason being they are all fucking ASSHOLES!!
Now, in the schools that are mandated by the dead assholes we were just talking about you are not taught that they are dead assholes. That would wake you up and the Constitution's job is to put you to sleep. Go ahead, try and read it. See how unalert you become 100 words in? You would need to be something as useless and pointless as a Constitutional Lawyer yourself to be able to wade through its tedium and its pronouncements of its own omnipotence. The reason you fall asleep is because as you are reading it, assuming you actually understand the vocabulary, which you very probably don't because you are probably having a hard time reading even this article I'm writing, the reason you are falling asleep, though, is because some barely-awake and still-functioning portion of your befuddled and underemployed brain is telling you that you are learning about your present fate and future guaranteed destiny as a slave.Your subconscious knows that what you are reading is traumatic in content and puts you to sleep as a defense mechanism.
Now, what you are being taught, of course, is that the Constitution is making your life one super fine grade-A whirligig of fantastically bitchin' fun and that you are really lucky to have been born into its clutches and that if you have leaped into them voluntarily from another country, well then, you are a super patriot my pren! Bel-con! (That would be "welcome" to those of you who don't read Mexican.)
PART TWO - CONSTITUTION PREP - LIFTING THE TOILET LID
In an effort to make my presentation of the Constitution as meaningful and as understandable as possible, i have printed out for myself a copy of the Constitution and the Amendments to it and have spent a couple of days perusing it, to, you know, get the gist, as Randy the Helpful Pineapple in STUFF magazine would say.
It should go without saying at this point that this perusal has been something of a drain on my life force. When I am not being bored into a narcoleptic stupor I am being frightened out of my wits. Only the Koran provides more of a roller coaster ride of drooling sonambulance alternating with Kahn-level ferocity. Reading it, I am either asleep or my hair is standing on end. It meanders from edicts about what the elected and unelected hordes of Brand New Bureaucrats can expect in the way of rules and regulations regarding their tenure - which is extremely boring reading - to the terrifying proclamations of the rules that the elected representatives can impose upon me: courtesy of the Constitution which somehow magically confers upon them this power. Which actually must be magic because it seems to have actually worked!
As i read the Constitution, which i will be doing for the next week or so, i am uncomfortably noticing that its tone and attitude is very much - in fact exactly - like the Koran's tone and attitude. It is a long long list of proclamations and declarations spoken in a tone and manner of delivery that assumes that there is a general understanding by all that this is the way things are. Period. It's actually eerie in its similarity to the authorship of the Koran. A book which was authored by a sociopath. The Constitution is basically a religious book of the law authored by Wise Men Of British Decent. It's the Talmud revised and edited by non believers, much as the Koran is the Catholic Bible revised and edited by Mohammed. I feel like i am being allowed entry into the secrets of Lucifer by reading this document and being allowed into the chamber of the Elect. And i have to admit, it's pretty interesting in here. There is power and delight in here for those who wish to drink from its fountains of deceit. I am almost tempted to give up my Constitution essay and run for office instead.
A remarkable aspect of the Constitution is that - having actually read the Koran - it's a lot like the Koran in its tone and air of authority and in its attitude that it has carte blanche permission to say anything it wants and everyone has to abide by it. It is breathtaking in it's cavalier assumption of authority. It is like a celestial being from out of a different dimension come to the Colonists as their true messiah after their defeating of the evil ogre of the Crown. Which is bad enough when you are talking about then. 250 years later it holds the same power and sway over people far removed in time - and, on the west coast, place and species - from whoever it was that penned this concoction of bindings upon the lives and spirits of the new "citizens" of the United States. People with actual jobs right now in this day will rail against those in power who they perceive as drifting from the impositions of the Constitution; the Second Amendment being traditionally at the forefront of these outbursts. If these people had the awareness of their surroundings that God gave celery stalks they would see that the Second Amendment hasnt been in force since the creation of the tank by someone not in office and the gatling gun by someone not in office, and by the time the airplane was invented by someone not in office - forget about the atomic bomb - the Second Amendment had been reduced to "the right of the people to keep and bear small tiny firearms, excluding sawed-off shotguns, shall not be infringed." The right of the President to keep and bear tank divisions and aircraft carriers however was also not infringed. However, upright God-fearing, NRA-loving Americans are convinced that it is only now that the Second Amendment is in danger. It was in danger the day it was written. The fact that it had to be written means that someone thought there was some sort of monstrosity lurking in the outer perimeter just waiting for the right moment to pounce upon people with firearms who were not elected officials. Someone knew there was a fucking nightmare outside waiting to come in and created this feeble little bit of fencing to hold it at bay for a while. Now you would think that this person instead of trying to stop the menacing monster from eating the inhabitants would have asked, rather, "Why are we creating this monster in the first place?" But of course than never happened. Because the assumption was without a monster what would be the point of living. Why just be happy and comfortable with no created monster from the voodoo bowels of prehistoric, pagan Assyria to threaten us; no, let us create for ourselves Molloch - and you know what?…and then let's try to put a leash on him. C'mon! let's do this! And there was a great round of applause and approving looks and glances all around to many other smiling faces also looking and glancing all around and while all were applauding greatly. What a splendid moment.
Heinous as the Constitution is, by far its greatest achievement in diabolical arrogance has to be the 13th Amendment. I have not yet explained what Amendments even are - as differentiated from "the other part" of the Constitution - but the 13th Amendment hit me so hard in the face while I was reading it that 48 hours later I am still trying to shake off the staggers and delirium that have jolted me from the experience. Apparently I am the first American citizen who actually has read it, with the exception of the laughing psychotic clowns who composed it and set it into the legal mechanism of the Constitution and thus ensured the rapid and inevitable destruction of the USA.
Let me quote it for you. "Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for a crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction." Now to the ordinary Constitution-loving State-educated asshole who cannot see what's in front of him even though it's in plain English and in black and white, what the 13th Amendment says to this dolt - probably someone very much like yourself - is that slavery is now abolished.
That's not what it actually says. What it actually says is that only all the Federal, State, County and Municipal governments of the USA can have slaves. Plantation owners in Dixie cannot. In other words, it moved slave ownership out of private hands and into government hands. Interestingly it creates universal slavery in 33 words, the same number as the age of Jesus - the actual liberator of the slaves - when he was executed. Pro'bly just a diabolical coincidence.
So the 13th Amendment actually creates National Slavery. Nobody sees this. For some reason. Politicians and lawyers see it. But then they are trained in cunning. Everyone else, including you, thinks, "Oh, well now, the Civil War ended slavery." No. The civil war expanded slavery. It only changed the slave owners. "You mean to tell me that ten billion American citizens killed each other in order to expand slavery??" Ha ha, welcome to the Dark Side, Annakin. Welcome to the Constitution.
Now, a lot of people are convinced that "the duly convicted" mentioned in the 13th Amendment deserve to be treated like slaves. People who think like this usually go into public service themselves or get married and raise sociopathic boys and self destructive girls and eventually murder their spouses. And some of the neighbors. And most of the neighbors' pets. These are people who cannot be educated into reality. These are people who think a "duly-convicted" is someone who has done something actually wrong, when in fact a duly-convicted is anyone a government agency declares to be a duly-convicted. The price for allowing the "authorities" to arrest some people is that eventually everyone gets arrested. "Good, law abiding citizens" don't see this. They don't see that the only thing that makes them law abiding is that that the things they are presently actually doing have not been declared illegal yet. This is far far far too-vast a chasm separating understanding from bewilderment for these people to ever get a firm clear vision of. The chasm is just too wide. They would have to upend their whole assumed perspective on what is actually taking place. And that's is a powerfully strong admission to make, that you could have been that wrong for that long. I admit, it's a motherfucker. So my advice to you is to not try and cross this chasm. You will be tempted to kill yourself the moment that understanding actually strikes your occluded, cement-like cranium.
PART THREE - PUTTING ON THE DIVING SUIT
What actually is the Constitution, you who have never read it, are asking.
The Constitution is a written explanation of the government that you as an American are now living under. And I do mean under. You have been told by, probably your idiot parents whose sole contribution to the betterment of humanity was to fuck each other and create you, an equally stupid replication of themselves, you have been told that you are the government: you, and all your neighbors, who are equally as stupid as you, are the government. However, every time a cop - or a summons - orders you out of your home and into a strange building you would never visit voluntarily….. you then become vaguely aware, and i emphasize vaguely, that you are not actually the government after all. You are, rather, the governed. You are governed by other people you do not know. That is what you are. You are the governed. You are not the governing and you are not the government. You are the governed. Say it with me now and aloud, altogether, here we go: I am the goVERNED. That's good, say it again: I am the goVERNED. That's right. You are not the government. You are governed by the government. You are not free. The government has all the freedom. And getting more and more of it every day. That's the nature of government: to grow. And as a corollary, that's the nature of The Governed: to decline. In time, in every Nation, the governMENT becomes the sovereign being and the goVERNED become slaves.
Now, it might surprise you to learn what exactly it is - if you dig down to the basic root system of the strangulating plant - what exactly it is you are governed by. And what you are governed by, believe it or not, is the Constitution!
At this point you might be asking "What is the Constitution, Mr. Man? And can I have candy?"
Sure. Have all the candy you want. And then suck my cock when you're done, Brenda.
The Constitution is a document. And it's written in simple and plain English, despite what anyone says, or despite what you have concluded from perusing it with your pathetic reading skills.
It consists of 7 "articles" and 27 "amendments."
The Articles are pronouncements explaining the nature of the system that is going to be taking over your life. And the Amendments are added ideas that were not thought of at the original moments of the composing, or creating, or inventing, or proclaiming, or making up, or having a gay delightful naked tea session of men and boys while suggesting the cute little darling and delightful ideas for the Constitution . The Amendments are things that the above-mentioned gay men in toreador pants that pressed their cocks and balls visibly against their thighs added from time to time up to today that are sort of New Additions, kind of like when your interior decorator Reynaldo decides Oh my Gawd, those curtainth are teal and the furniture is paithley, WHAT WATH I THINKING?" and he gives you new curtains. Amendments are new curtains installed by gay lawyers rather than by gay interior decorators.
The first ten of the amendments are - unlike the rest of the Constitution - edicts against the Constitution itself.
Now…I know what you are saying. You are saying "Excuse me?"
That's fine, I have no problem with questions. Let me repeat:
The first ten Amendments are edicts against the Constitution itself.
I know what you are saying: "Excuse me?"
We could go on like this all day, I know; you're right. You are pro'bly also asking, "Why have a Constitution at all, then, if you are going to anticipate things going haywire from the get-go, so much so that you have to mention it in the very document you are trying to create as the ruling manifesto for its own operation?" And I would say, "Pardon me?" And you would say, "Why would you create a document that you had to include things against the document you were creating? Why include "safeguards" or self-restricting conditions on a piece of paper, why not just rewrite the piece of paper so it would not need restrictions? Why not just rewrite the piece of paper so that it was not inherently dangerous or menacing? Why not just rewrite the piece of paper so that it is less…." Hey, ok, I get it, I get it, I get it. Relax. And to answer your question - beats the fuck out of me, Sparky. Glad to see this is starting to sink in.
If this conundrum you have presented was to be written-out in words it would read like this: the Constitution is the operating system of the Country. The Bill of Rights is a safeguard against the operating system of the Country actually becoming the operating system of the Country. Question: if the operating system of the Country is so inherently dangerous why would you create it in the first place?
So far this question has never been answered. Probably because this is the first time in history this question has ever been fucking asked.
Now, before you conclude that I am blaming the "founding fathers" for this, I am not. At no time is the Constitution vague or misleading about what it is up to. The language is clear and simple and the goals are blatantly announced right up front: "We are eventually going to take all your stuff and we are going to take you too if we have to." I mean, there is no way anyone could accuse these men of lying or deceit. They could not have been more plain or forthcoming regarding their intentions for you and for your descendants for the rest of eternity. I'm totally serious; they did not lie. They explained in clear language "We are going to fuck you, we are going to fuck you good and hard, we are going to perform crotch thrusts with erect penises deep into your rectum in the time honored Masonic, slash, bureaucratic, slash, Governing State tradition, which is: 'Welcome. And bring your own Vaseline. You're going to need it.'"
If you or anyone else now alive - and not in office - were to be sat in a room and presented with the terms of the Constitution and had it explained to them in detail and then were asked to sign a contract agreeing to its terms….you, and all the rest of us, would push the table over. We would have ten lawyers on the phone in two minutes to get in there right now and rewrite 99% of the terms of the so called "agreement" that you never agreed to that is the Fucking Constitution.
And you never did agree to the Constitution did you. No. You were just sort of born into it. Like you were born into Nebraska. In a cornfield. From a union between your drunk dad with a fifteen year old nymphomaniac on moonshine down the road. It's just what you were born into. And here you are now: with a Muslim negro Commie homosexual illegal alien from Kenya as your fucking idiotic Jihadist sociopathic narcissistic imbecile fuckhead dolt piece of shit "President." Whatever the fuck that even is. Because of the Constitution.
Barack Hussein Obama always does sort of have a way of bringing everything into perspective, doesn't he? Yeah, you bet he does.
PART FOUR - HOOKING UP THE OXYGEN HOSES
The entire range and scope and total predatory horror of the Sacred Constitution can be reduced to the first two sentences of itself: the Preamble and Article 1. The Preamble is one sentence and Article 1 is one sentence. The two sentences follow one another and basically sum up just how badly you are about to get fucked inside your excrement chute, and it also explains the mind-set of the people who are going to do the fucking. These first two sentences go like this:
"We the people of the United States, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessing of liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America. All legislative powers herein granted shall be vested in a Congress of the United States which shall consist of a Senate and a House of Representatives."
Thus, in those two sentences, Global Socialism, mixed with mystical, magical, nonsensical soap box pontificating miracle-working in the 12th dimension of delusion and vaulting lunatic pride and defiant insistence of assured omnipotence that are the natures of bureaucrats and lawyers everywhere came unto the world for the first time in written form rather than just as an Army or a cop appearing at your border or on your porch prepared to kill you if you didn't obey.
School kids hear these two concurrent sentences from day one of school, and even before that if their parents are drooling Republican and Conservative dunderheads with a compulsive yen for preaching American politics, and have been hearing it from day one of school and from their drooling dunderhead parents for 250 years and not one of them has a clue of what it really says. And what it really says is…..
"We 40 men you never met and who are now dead, in order to somehow perform the impossible task of achieving things traditionally held to be noble and generally acceptable philosophically, and because we are self-absorbed, stubbornly convinced delusional super beings who have better jobs than you do, with actual titles to our names; we do declare that we are going to actually going to somehow accomplish these many noble and astoundingly and grandiously-vague things that involve wishing and utopia and birds and kittens, even though we have not even invented toilet paper yet, and we still wipe our two-way asses with fucking cloth that we wash over and over like the Hindus in prehistoric India do, nor do we even have pens that hold their own ink, no, we physically stick them into a fucking puddle. But we are going to declare Wonders and we will cause the very seas and skies to stop and stare as we promote the general welfare and insure domestic tranquility. Oh, and just a reminder, we are also declaring that we are granting ourselves all the power necessary to write orders for you to obey via things that didnt work in ancient Greece and ancient Rome; namely,via a senate… and also - and this is exciting! - a second Senate, yes that's right, a second Senate to go with the first Senate, but which we are changing the name of to 'House'!….yes that's right we're changing it to House, don't you just love it??? Oh, and get this, you will love this too, the Senate and the House will be inhabited by people you have never met and who you never will actually ever meet with. Isn't that grand? Can we fucking hug??"
These days their delusional counterparts only promise to "create jobs" not Utopia, like the original 40 promised, but that's because these days politicians have smaller vocabularies.
How much "domestic tranquility" did the 18th amendment create, is a thought that just came into my head. Calling Prohibition a move toward domestic tranquility kind of makes you wonder what the home lives of the "founding fathers" was like, doesn't it? And for the record, there was never more domestic tranquility than in the 11 years between the end of the war and the moment the Constitution kicked in. And then from that day to this there has been all hell breaking loose. But for 11 years, all the things the preamble was promising were already in pleasant operation. There was total domestic tranquility. People had already provided for the common defense by defeating the most powerful nation on earth, the British Empire. The general welfare was being promoted pretty great because everyone could now keep their own stuff: how are those "secured blessings of liberty" working out for ya at the moment, bub? Pretty damn good, are they? No? Why is that? They're in the Preamble fa crise sakes, didnt you read it? It was proclaimed and therefore it came to be, didn't it? It was Godlike creation, something from nothing, was it not? Just as Masons and Scientologists and Madame Blavatskyites and Aleister Crowleyites and diviners of the esoteric mysteries and the reclaimers of the lost powers of mankind have been insisting they are capable of since Mesopotamia, so wake up, fool, 40 mincing men in leather breeches from on-high have promised!! So these benefits and miracles have to be there somewhere! Look under the fucking bed, maybe the blessing of liberty is there, look around, you'll find it, look up the asses of the founding fathers, maybe they stuck them up there at the same time they stuck their own heads up there.
And of course none of the pompous blather in the Preamble is actually going-on anywhere because, i guess, the Force was weak in those 40 dudes. We dont have "domestic tranquility," we dont have the general welfare being promoted whatever the fuck that even means, we have not secured the blessing of liberty because we have not secured liberty itself yet so how could we secure the blessing of liberty, we dont have a "more perfect" union, we are, in fact, on the brink of total collapse and reduction into neighborhood war lords like in fucking Angola and the stinkhole of Somalia, and justice, needless to say, however the fuck you even define it, has not been established. And the "common defense" is having it's puny firearms taken away and is now under "common attack" by Washington DC.
While the Preamble is empty ravings, Article One, Section One is not. Article One Section One is straight-ahead, in your face, hammer blows to your skull,
'cause that "all legislative powers" thing has been in meth- level operation from the very first instant, and is going strong right this second, faster than ever, and is actually still picking up steam.
Apparently the words "all legislative powers" never frightens anyone who reads them. Not that anyone ever reads them. What are "all legislative powers"? Well, one meaning i manage to wrangle from those three words is someone is going to have legislative powers. And they are going to have all of them. And it is probably not going to be you, either. What will legislative powers do? Well, what they will do is they will order you either to do something you dont want to do or order you not do something you do want to do. Because people do not have to be ordered by legislative powers to do things they want to do. They just do them. They also do not have to be ordered by legislative powers to not do things they don't want to do. They just don't do them. Life is simple when there's no legislation. And literally hell on earth when there is.
So let's go to hell, shall we? Let's read the Constitution!
PART FIVE - LEAPING INTO THE TOILET
The Constitution starts with a Preamble that wastes no time whatsoever in excluding you from the proceedings. But not from the consequences.
"We the people of the United States, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this constitution for the United States of America."
This is just the Preamble, mind you. These fuckers haven't even warmed up yet and they have proclaimed themselves "we the people." And i guess they are all of them 'cause I sure don't see your name mentioned. So these 4 dozen dudes in toreador pants with their cocks and balls pressed revealingly against their thighs, these dainty dancers of the minuet, in order that they might accomplish the astoundingly immense deeds of genius and wisdom and majesty iterated and proclaimed in the Preamble, which consist of things that they do not have a fucking clue about how to actually provide and accomplish much less define and explain, do now proclaim it! It is done! Magic shall ensue! We have proclaimed!
i mean i could write a whole separate paper on just the Preamble and what a crock of pompous bloviating windbaggery it is: (please say the following in an effeminate, mincing voice) "Us guys in British Attire are going to create heaven on earth by writing this essay and from there will immediately follow after the composing of this list all the miracles the essay has proposed to perform. Thus have we spoken and thus shall all of Nature align with us in compliance with our will and our decree. Behold; the sea advances and recedes even now at our command."
They might as well have just said that.
(oh, you can stop with the effeminate voice now)
And so, therefore, these mincing, twirling fops are going to prepare for us blessings and liberty and justice and tranquility and defense - that "providing for the common defense" part will be YOUR job, incidentally, not theirs - promote the general welfare --- which has absolutely no meaning or defining characteristics or even sense: by "promote" do they mean they will advertise the general welfare?…create the general welfare?….do something or other to make the general welfare come into being?….do a LOT of something to make this happen? - or just a little bit of something to make this happen?…and they are going to keep this going forever too??… because "posterity" means future generations. This "general welfare" is going to exist unto eternity? Is that it, boys? THAT'S A TALL FUCKING ORDER, DUDES WHO WEAR GAY TROUSERS!! And are they are going to do all this magic right now? Right away? With no practice at all at having starting nations before?…since most of them, like Hussein Obama, never have had a real job outside of politics? Do they have a handbook to follow?
And of course the answer is no. The answer is no to all the above questions. Just mark "No" to all the questions on your paper. Mark them "No." "No" would be the correct answer to mark them. Simply mark them "No."
These things "they are going to do" are what are called "proclamations." Or in other words things that someone - usually someone who's lying, especially if it's a public administrator making the proclamation - they are things that someone is merely saying. Oh, and, something he is merely saying that you have to obey and comply with, by the way. I don't want to forget that essential aspect of a proclamation.
Now the idiot Indians got wind of all this and they said "No fucking way." And look what happened. Not so with the Colonists, though, no sir, "A new paper king you say?" Those white people - who apparently, just like the Israelites, simply love trouble so they can have something to whine about - they had no problem with this at all! And therefore, unlike the indians who resisted and got slaughtered, they only had to put up with taxation and arrest and fines and confiscations and restrictions and severe limits on their liberty. The Indians, being more alert, apparently, as to what was happening, said Fuck This! And of course they all died violently or were imprisoned. Keep in mind that I am not a fan of the American Indian. But not because they rebelled against the Constitution going out the gate, like very sensible and far-seeing folk. Unfortunately for them they did not have the New Americans' 2000 year history of organized warfare traditions, and they didn't have the pamphlet called "Tips For The Invasion And Pulverization of Peoples on a Huge Scale" like we did. Nor did they have war college, or book-learning. Nor did they have Caesar and Alexander and Constantine and Napoleon and Attilla and Ghengis Kahn and the British and the Spanish and the Moors and the Turks to fall back upon for guidance and for research in the arts of conquest. In fact they would not have even have had weapons if we hadn't sold them to them to give them a sporting chance.
After the Preamble, there then come the things called "articles." Some of these Articles have things called "sections." And together, Articles and Sections, it's all, you know, very "we are the learn-ed wise school masters and you are the young and eager-to-learn children" sort of thing. And like all learn-ed and wise school teachers, they are self-righteous assholes presuming to be deities. And like all young and eager to learn children, you are clueless.
There are 7 "Articles."
As I have said before, fair to say, the Founding Pompous Asses can not be accused of misdirection. Article 1 has 10 sections, some of them very OCD, but the sole sentence in Section 1 of Article One spells things out nice and clear and in plain language that can be understood even by the bums in the back of the auditorium:
"All legislative powers herein granted shall be vested in a Congress of the United States, which shall consist of a Senate and a House of Representatives."
Noble citizens have been reading that sentence for 250 and apparently not a-one of them has fainted in terror at the words. They read them and look-about quite contentedly at others as if to say "Jolly good, this, what?" I can't even blame Compulsory Education as is my custom for these sorts of inexplicable human behaviors, because these words were proclaimed to be The Way Things Now Are, Fucker long before the "legislative power herein granted" of compulsory education existed. It just needed to wait its turn is all. Meanwhile a lot of other "legislative powers herein granted" are thus enumerated in long fucking detail for the entire rest of Article 1 Sections 1 thru 10 and "Congress" never legislated them. Whoever wrote the Constitution legislated them. Without Congressional approval. Nothing new there. I guess you're not supposed to see that. And apparently nobody does. Except me. So if all legislative power is in Congress, who had the power to give Congress all its legislative power? Who legislated that? But, you see, you are not suppose to actually think this sleight of hand piece of coy fun through to that point. You are suppose to just go "Oh, ok, who do I pay my taxes to, please, and hurry please, I have to get back to work to make more money for you even though you are not my employer and even though I have not bought anything from you."
In all the Articles remaining, 2 thru 7, the Articles set a pretty solid tone in the idea that decrees… vetty vetty Bditish, you know, old chap… that decrees are now to be the norm around here because the decrees in these 6 articles regarding the "function" of the Federal Government are pretty emphatic and do not call for any vote of the people on the matter. The "composers" are basically telling you, because they love telling you things, they are basically telling you "This IS the Constitution, laddy, we spent a lot of time constructing it, and we are not going to throw it all away by asking your opinion: not that you would waste your time reading it because we have made it purposely boring and yet made sure it was still quite lethal. So go consort with yourself. Bring a magazine. If it has a naked wench - or lad! - bring it to me when you're done. Swine herder that you are."
Up until Section 8 - which in the Army means "batshit crazy" - the decrees are strangulating enough, but then Section 8 comes and the noose gets down to business and the OCD obfuscation vanishes, and It's bam, bam, bam, short, sharp sentences declaring how things will be and may God help you 'cause your "patriotism" sure won't, 'cause your so called "patriotism" runs totally counter-culture to the Constitution and it's going to pull you straight into prison if you act on it. So kiss your alleged "liberties" goodbye, mother fucker, cause here comes Section 8!
"The Congress shall have the power to….." and then holy fucking shit, WHAT THE FUHHHHHK?????…one after another in clipped, concise articulation of one short clause after another the entire bureaucracy of incompetent stupidity that will guarantee public employees pensions and perks long after you are dead for the privilege of leading you around by the neck in a chain are itemized. Armies, taxes, jails, punishments, the creation of coercive-monopolistic dominion on commerce and industry via an "authorized" legal tender that today like the Constitution is just paper, or, ya know, pulverized wood-pulp, the forbiddance of rival contenders and competitors for government "services,": conscription, punishments for things decreed "illegal" by someone other than you seizing control of international business dealings, declaring all written communication over distance to be government property, declaring WAR - which, you know, you just "declare" - or somebody in Washington does - and then after war is "declared" - once again, it's all about declaring things with bureaucrats - then once war is "declared" then "all legislative powers herein granted" are really tightened and you personally are invited into the mix by either being drafted or by being seduced via some to-be-specified "patriotic duty." It goes on to insist that the armed forces - which will basically totally override your imaginary 2nd Amendment "rights" - will be created by and in accordance with the Constitution Decrees, and if in 2013 the President of the War Machine and also it's "commander" decides to turn that war machine against you once the Constitution comes into its full strength and capacity for mischief, which strength should be just about at its apex in 2013…then kiss your ass goodbye, sucker, and watch the Army of the Constitution pry your little pistol out of your cold dead hands with pleasure and sell it to the Mexicans, not that they need them, we seem to be arming them up pretty solid.
It then declares Washington DC as the real Country, not the States, and certainly not you, and then in its final Sec 8 sentence reiterates that whatever it decides to do all Congress has to do is declare it legal, because this is after all a nation of laws, through which we are going to do our damndest to convince you that laws are a very civilized and sensible way to do things, and in fact to do otherwise is to bring chaos and "catastrophe" down upon you, as GW Bush emphasized over and over regarding any diminution of Federal Power, and which Barack "I am a Christian" Hussein Obama has taken that handoff and is running unopposed downfield with it. For without laws then we have something different from the chaos and misery and fucked up shit that having laws is causing. Ok? Without laws there is even more chaos and catastrophe, OK? Say it with me again: without laws there is more chaos and catastrophe than with laws. At the moment we have plenty of laws and everything is just fine. You just think it's really bad chaos and catastrophe. It's not. It's law and order.
Yes you. I'm talking to you.
Now, then, Article 2 declares in 4 separate Sections that the President of the United States is basically a king with a different spelling. There are many many many words and sentences in long and tedious scary iteration regarding just how powerful this all-powerful "executive" individual who is not a king will be. And to make things even more oppressive even faster, he will be replaced often so that new and fresh not-a-kings, untried and ready to rule, can pick up the reins and say giddy-yap to the horses. Which would be you. In case you were wondering who the horses at the other end of the reins are. They're you.
Article 3 declares the creation of "judges." The judges pass judgement upon people who violate the the laws created by the people who created the judges. This basically puts you at the shitty end of two sticks, not just one, as the judges and the judges' creators intrude themselves side by side into your asshole, pressing deep into your tube of defecation while crying out in ejaculatory bliss as their semen explodes against your unlaunched dung logs of shit . Bear in mind that you - you, the one reading this - are assumed to be believing all the while that all this legislation is for your protection. Even though you were not in any danger prior to breaking the law and getting arrested and brought before the judge. Who is now going to further protect you by probably fining you money for disobeying a law or more likely incarcerating you, for probably years, for breaking a different, "more serious," law.
There are then some "sections" in Article 3 - most of the Articles have "sections," - there are then some "sections" in Article 3 that rather cavalierly and in a sort of "oh by the way" kind of way, enumerate some more massively sweeping edicts and continue proclaiming a few more odds and ends you cannot do, or have, or conspire to, or think regarding; how various States will move you around if you are a bad man; and what, more or less, constitutes treason, or to put in the more proper religious tone of the Constitution, what constitutes heresy and blasphemy; DC now, after all, having been declared - by the Constitution - a co- Deity.
Section 4 of Article 3 declares some more prohibitions, basically random, and in the order they were dreamed up, all sounding very dire and ominous, in the manner of "how dare you, do you not realize this is now illegal?" That sort of vibe. And it also states that the Feds will protect the States against invasion. This is the Totally Ignored Item currently being discussed by the voting hordes of idiot citizenry and which DC is currently ignoring. For the entire run of the Constitution's 250 years of dominion there has always been some aspect of the Constitution that is being "illegally" violated by one or another branch of government or individual in some branch of government, and this bantering and complaining goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on until Congress or the President decides to make the illegality that is going on legal. At the moment the unauthorized invasion of Mexicans from the country of Mexico is the item of the Constitution being ignored but DC is already close to making the invaders legal. Firearms are also being phased out of private hands, at least the small tiny ones citizens are permitted to own, the larger ones having long ago having been declared illegal even though they are "arms necessary for a militia" which the vaunted Constitution allegedly allows. Which it happily did until Howitzers and tanks and bazookas and fighter jets were invented and then they were declared "government property only." In other words the Constitution is a joke. It was never intended to be anything more than a pretend "protector and guardian" of the same people that it began immediately ordering around from Sentence One of it's idiotic New Age Gaia Fairyland We Are Gods Preamble.
Article 5 explains how the Constitution can be changed when it becomes expedient for the people holding public office to change something. It does this by announcing all the while how important it is to follow rigorous protocols - or sacred rituals as they are called in religion - before the Constitution can be flippantly altered or distorted or changed or nullified basically willynilly.
Article 6 contains two short but basically gibberish paragraphs, followed by the curious third and final paragraph which says everyone in office shall swear an oath to gain office but do not need to have a religion to hold office. This is the first inkling of a Masonic fingerprint in the Constitution that is overtly expressed. Masonic jibberjabber proclaims that God is not any entity proclaimed by any actual religion on earth. All the religions of earth and in earth history have proclaimed as God the wrong God. Masons who have an actual religion never seem to notice this: that the Masonic deity is not their own. Who is the Masonic deity? They never actually say. They say we can never know who it is. But we CAN say for certain that it is not any of the gods formerly thought to be god by anyone else. That much they know. They dont know who God is but they know who God isnt: and he isnt any of all of the gods anyone ever heard about. Now you ask a Mason, well, how do you know this? "I cannot tell you. That is a secret. And we can never know anyway." "Well, then" you might ask, "if we can never know who God is maybe he's one of the already discovered gods!" "Oh, no, we know that's not the case." But they do make it clear it's not one you ever heard of or pray to. They do give him an acronym, however, in lieu of an identity: GAOTU; Grand Architect Of The Universe. But its not Yahweh or Jesus or Allah or Zeus or Vishnu or C'thulhu or Klaatu Barata Nikto. But they insist he exists. No one in Masonry ever asks, well how do you know it's not Zeus? No one ever has thought to ask i guess, they are all so enthralled by the wonderful majestic beauty of the rather coquettish apron and the lifeless symbols and the gay stuff and the smothering mantras of "ordinary things mean bigger things you cannot fully understand" in the tradition of the even more convoluted and arbitrary ramblings and blabberfests of the All Powerful Constitution.
Mercifully we come to the last article, Article 7. It's very brief, hardly any need to even read it actually, brief as it is, it's almost as an afterthought, actually, hardly important, no need to read it, really, it's nothing, hardly but a trifle but here it is anyway, just pass over it if you want, and it goes, why even mention it but here it is anyway - only 9 not all 13 colonies that are now States need to ok this Constitution that us team of bad writers, bad lawyers, bad supreme mystics of the mystic mysticisms, and various drunks dreamed up while all together in our underwear - ok, thank you, hurry up and okay-it right now, you all don't have to, just 9 of you have to, for it to march into action inhibiting the lives and activities and futures of the governed, please hurry and okay this right now thank you.
It basically says that in one sentence.
And in not nearly as long a form as I just put it in.
It then nonchalantly, and unbelievably ridiculously, explains what the words mean in some other unrelated section of the Constitution that no one could read in the original scrawled text. This minutes-of-the-meeting editing marginal-note is part of the finished Constitution. They could have included the address of a pizza parlor it would have been a lot more interesting and a lot more germane to anything real.
And then there is a final pronouncement that this here Constitution of renown is now the anvil tied to your existence.
And all the signees - none of whom are you - are listed. There are about fifty of the Proper King's Own Englishmen listed who, being Duly Authorized, fucked everyone then alive and who was ever to be alive up to this day…hard in the ass. Because DC has fucked up not only its own citizens but a whopping lot of the citizens of other countries: most of which now have
And of course the ones that do not have constitutions, DC wipes out of existence. Or threatens to. Because Constitutions, it turns out, are not only magical for the USA, they are magical for everyone on earth. Because magic is global. Magic also ensures that everyone under it will remain global because no one is ever going to be going into space on any meaningful scale while under the rule of Magic and that's the way the magicians like things. None of this leaving the area bullshit. Also Rule By Manual rather than rule by Person gives the person actually ruling something to justify his tyranny: a Constitution. So you see, he can't be evil because he is only following the Constitution which I think we all agree is noble and kind. Thank you and fuck you.
Everyone who signed the American Constitution - and their names are all listed - should be dug up annually - or daily, I'm good with that - and shot. And we probably know where all the graves are cause they likely all have headstones and are inside proper cemeteries or family vaults 'cause I don't think any of these assholes were living in the poorhouse. They just wanted to make sure everyone else eventually would be. Why? Because they were pricks. There are pricks now and there were pricks then. And these mother fuckers were some of them. They were pricks.
PART SIX - DESCENDING DEEPER INTO THE CHUNKS AND MOISTNESS
You are pro'bly thinking, well, ok, that's enough, having someone explain the Constitution is even more boring than not reading it.
But this is the best part, the much celebrated Bill of "Rights" and the other Amendments!
Yes, Amendments! Things that change the Constitution! You cannot have a Constitution that you cannot change and alter willy nilly! That would be like not having one at all! And then where would you be?
The legendary Bill of Rights are 10 in number and number 1, the very famous First Amendment, which you probably think prohibits DC from declaring one religion more righteous than another in fact establishes the The Government Created By The Constitution as the established religion of the land! Which is why all the drivel about how it will never establish an established religion as the State Religion is just pablum for the babies reading it to eat and go goo goo over. Actually the First Amendment creates a new religion and declares it the Established Religion. So it stands to reason they would not want another one taking its place. Especially not Christianity. in other words the First Amendment violates the First Amendment. Tell that to a Constitutional lawyer and he will have you arrested for threatening his tenure and pension, not to mention his present job. And the religion created is of course Washington DC, which was created by the Constitution. The act of creation is the act of a deity. So DC is the religion and the Constitution is the God of that religion. Deities by their nature, except for Allah, are also benevolent: trustworthy; more wise than you; more powerful than you; more omnipotent than you; more omniscient than you; more concerned about the welfare of people you dont know than you; more compassionate than you; more caring than you; more wonderful than you in every arena and to which you must pay homage and who you must obey. Congress and the President and the judges and all the "duly appointed lesser angels" - which would be the arresting officers - are all the thrones and dominions and seraphim and guardians of the throne of God - which is the Constitution.
This deification has not gone unnoticed or unworshipped by the American citizen. The "Right" actually adores the Constitution and says it is inviolate. The "Left" adores the constitution and says it is an evolving entity, becoming more perfect with every new day. the Libertarians say the Constitution is "really basically a neato thing but we need to make it more of a neato thing by making it less of a neato thing." Libertarians are never really clear about what they actually want because I dont think they actually know what they want. As long as Jesus is not involved, they are basically content, at least when they are not in-fighting or losing elections or not getting donations for being, basically, loafers, even though they dont really approve of charity cases. Which the libertarian Party basically is, having no product to sell except "Libertarian Ideas" which tend to be vague and/or contradictory and/or at odds with the very act of running for office.
Why we even have parties is a mystery since the Constitution never mentions them even once. Just like Jesus never mentioned masturbation or men sucking each others' dicks even once. So that is probably another pile of shit that needs its own exploration. But I, at least, can only deal with one pile of shit at a time. Someone else will have to pick up that pile of shit festering on the ground and examine it.
The 1st Amendment also proclaims DC cant stop you from saying what you want, writing what you want, gathering with whoever you want, or writing a letter to the "government," though, since each American has not one but FOUR governments in his life, then i would assume this is "vague" and needs to "become living" at some point, probably by edict. Americans are very giddy about the idea of them being able to talk, write and gather, even though they are forbidden to do much else. As long as they can talk, write, and gather, Americas are convinced they have something really swell going on, since some other countries you can't even do that. I guess if everyone else else has no legs you dont care if you only have most of your toes missing.
The 2nd Amendment says you can own weapons. But in truth, and in clear violation of the 2nd Amendment, which fact seems to have eluded the lazy and basically stupid NRA, you cannot own most of them. In actual truth. It is illegal. And the States and counties and cities can prohibit all of them, even the rifles and pistols that the Federal government, for now, will still allow you to own. So the 2nd Amendment is basically almost meaningless.
The 3rd amendment says the feds cant force you to barracks "soldiers' - of what country is not mentioned - in times of peace!! So if DC declares war on the States - as it has done once before - Corporal Rodriguez, the illegal cartel Mexican who is earning his citizenship by shooting at you, he can stay at your house, and fuck your kids too, the boys and the girls, sen-yore, Tenk-ju Beddy Mo!
The 4th Amendment gives you the right to have your house searched. But not without something called "probable cause." You can have your house invaded and turned upsidedown but only with "probable cause" to do this. Probable cause of course is not explained or defined. However the swearing of an oath - something Jesus claimed always had Satan as their sources - an oath has to be sworn by someone that "probably cause" exists to have your home invaded. And now also your car. Someone you don't know can invade your home and ransack your car if they swear an oath and they have what they - not you - consider probable cause. Which could I suppose be translated as "because they want to." So you have this right. You have the right to have your house searched.
The 5th Amendment of the "bill of rights" gives you the right to be arrested and put into jail. You can be tried once for anything but not twice for the identical event - wow: only once - you cant be forced to be a witness against yourself, which is allegedly a grand supreme gift offered you by the founding fathers while you are under arrest and on trial and facing incarceration. In other words, you dont have to actually say or imply you're guilty while sitting - hopefully but not likely - alone in your cell of concrete. The Rights Nullifier, "eminent domain" is also introduced for your entertainment pleasure. Which means you cant have your house taken from you without payment, which you can accept or not, but "we're still taking it because we the city council or county council or state council or federal council voted to take it. And you don't get to vote."
The 6th Amendment, like the 5th Amendment - this right was worthy of a double entry because it's so important - gives you the right to get arrested, or kidnapped as I like to call it, and go on trial rather than be sentenced without a proper ceremony, and the trial can involve, if you want, total strangers with no knowledge of the law or legal proceedings and perhaps no jobs or any desire to ever have a job, perhaps no schooling, not an issue, perhaps no IQ at all, which is often preferable in legal proceedings, who were ordered against their will to appear from out of whatever woodpile they might have been holed-up in, to pass judgement upon you: strangers who do not know you nor have any dog in the fight will decide your "guilt" as far as the law is concerned, not as far as right and wrong is concerned. Only as far as the law - which is the created statue of the day - is concerned. So you have that basic right: you have the right to be tried while under arrest even though you are assumed innocent. You are assumed innocent but you are arrested and in jail in your innocence while awaiting trial to determine if you are perhaps actually guilty.
Are you more or less getting an inkling at least that the Constitution is a steaming pile of elephant shit?
Amendment 7 is so obtuse it's hard to extract any meaning from it but since i am not a constitutional lawyer - who is someone who actually makes a very good living - reading this load over and over and over all his life and making interpretations and prophesies and theories about "a proper society" from it all, since I am not one of those this item will have to remain a mystery. Whatever it is it can't be worse than what I have been able to actually decipher from the rest of the Constitution. And regarding Constitutional Lawyers, The "Right" holds this breed of shark - the Constitutional lawyer - in great reverence. Retuning to Amendment 7, I think Amendment 7 says that if you get sued for more than 20 dollars you can have a jury trial in which the 12 people forced to be there against their will will exact vengeance upon whichever party has the most money. This is a phenomenal right and is well worth dying for in times of war in a foreign land; "the 21 dollar lawsuit right."
Amendment 8 is a decree against "excessive" bail - not defined - and against excessive fines - not defined - and against cruel and unusual punishment - also not defined. However common human practice regards confiscation of property, confiscation of liberty via incarceration, and confiscation of life itself via capital punishment as not meeting the definition of cruel and unusual. So you have the right not to be ritually flayed, basically. A very important right and one you should treasure and covet. I will give you a moment to dry tears of gratitude and to kiss the Bill of Rights.
Amendment 9 of your Rights is incomprehensible. Here it is in toto: "The enumeration of the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people."
I have excellent reading comprehension skills and this looks like a random selection of words to me that will never have any pertinent affect on my life for good or ill. Maybe it will on yours and i wish you all the best with your 9th Amendment largess.
Amendment 10 says that anything that is not prohibited is allowed unless it becomes prohibited. I'm just the messenger, dude.
Thus ends the cherished Bill of "Rights."
Amendment 11 says that if you live in one State and you sue the State government of another State, the Feds will not get involved. What this means, if you put real flesh and blood on it, is that the Feds are saying they will actually leave you alone and abandon you if you ask them for help suing a State, kind of like they leave you alone in a National Park, good luck even finding water. The Feds are not going to go to war against their Brothers in Legislation in a suit you file. The Feds have bigger fish to fry than fighting your battles with what DC considers an underling but which you - quite rightly - consider a giant. Hey, count your blessings, they could have said they will ally themselves with the State against you. But instead you got handed the Pontius Pilate ruling HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Rejoice, take up thy cross, and proceed to Golgotha alone, prick.
Amendment 12 is a morass of ritual regarding elections which is basically a summation of how high the cards are stacked against you in a Presidential election, or in other words, how far you are actually distanced from whoever is going to be ruling you every two, four, or six years. Civics Majors love this Amendment because it takes OCD regarding ritual and not stepping on cracks and turning three times to maintain magical propriety to a complex level of exactness ensuring favorable outcomes with the stars and ensuring total bewilderment to you personally - to a new level of jumbledom. Just put on a colorful candidacy hat representing the mystery candidate of someone else's choice and have fun with it, then wait for tax day, pay what you "owe" and have a beer.
Amendment 13 is a doozy: it declares that only the Federal and State and county and municipal governments can own slaves: not private citizens. The Civil War was fought to take slavery out of the hands of private citizens and make it - and you - the exclusive property of government. And it could not be in plainer english. It's a monument of directness, honesty and certainty. Why, it's even short! The most horrible ones always are: "Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as punishment for a crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction."
Abraham Lincoln must have laughed his flat homosexual ass off when this got ratified. Every American I know is convinced the 13 Amendment abolished slavery. It doesn't. It makes it universal. And it includes you. Oh, sure, there is the matter of nailing down your violation, or "crime" which can virtually these days be any human activity as long as the restriction can be found in any statue book anywhere in a proper file, and that just involves a cop pointing at a page in a book and saying "it's this one here," and allowing you to read it yourself. And you might say to the cop in all innocence "But i didn't make that law." But if you said that you would be laughed at. You are probably laughing yourself right now, in fact. Because you are stupid.
Amendment 14 says that life, liberty and property can be taken from you by any State government. it says if you're born here you are a citizen. it says elections can be manipulated if the "electors" can be found to be in violation of things considered violations of things. it says no traitors can be elected to congress or the presidency. haha. it says debts incurred by DC or the States in support of enemies of DC or the States do not have to be paid. This is bewildering even for the Constitution and must have some arcane application known only to magicians and warlocks.
Amendment 15 says darkies can vote if they're citizens. Most of them vote often and even if they are dead, in practice, so this is an actually useful amendment, it makes voter fraud by negroes legal. If you are white and outnumbered, then it's usefulness to you personally is a bit iffy, since negroes all vote by race. Unless you happen to like Africans telling you what do HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Which, as of 2008 I guess you do.
Amendment 16 allows you the right to have your income taxed. I would travel to a foreign country to fight and die a thousand times over in defense and appreciation of this privilege. No one who pays income taxes approved of this Amendment by the way. It just got implemented. Just like the Constitution itself. It's all just gets more and more wonderful as we proceed down the lane of Constitutionland.
Amendment 17 decrees how Senators are created and for how long. This is a good example of "creation of life" by the Constitution, something previously only the perogitive of God and Darth Plagueis.
Amendment 18 forbids you the citizen, or visitor to the land of the free, from owning or possessing alcoholic beverages. Jesus himself, whose first public act was bootlegging, must have been spinning in his empty grave when the Noble Constitution took upon itself the criminalization of liquor. This created a lot of government slaves, incidentally, as granted them by the 13th amendment. The blessings of "domestic tranquility" promised by the glorious Preamble took a big hit with this one but nobody seemed to notice.
Amendment 19 gives people with vaginas the "right" to vote for someone chosen by someone else to rule them. Women are quite proud of this right. If women and negroes are excited about voting, white men - I would think - would take a moment to question the wisdom of this activity called voting. So far, that ain't happened.
Amendment 20 has nothing directly to do with you, only in a remote sort of way. It is merely a handbook for the rules of order of DC denizens in Congress and the White House about what foot to start walking with and how many times to touch their hand to their knee and how many times to turn around when hopping on one leg.
Amendment 21 declares Amendment 18 to be no longer an arrest conviction. The Constitution is nothing if not maleable. It is a maleable god. one controllable by Congress. Which is not you.
Amendment 22 says no President can serve more than 2 terms. Because they become too powerful. That's gotta be some whopping power by then, then, because on Day One they are pretty invincible.
Amendment 23 decrees how many representatives DC can have.
Amendment 24 allows you to vote FOR FREE. This is something to cherish and hold dear and clutch close to your bosom and allow the tears of joy to fall without restriction or embarrassment.
Amendment 25 describes the transfer of "power" when a president dies in office. No voting is involved by you. Another fellow steps into the slot if he's next in line. If it's Rasputtin, it's Rasputtin. A really well thought out system. At least it avoids the catastrophe of no one having Power. Which is far worse than any Rasputtin could ever be, there not being a Rasputtin at all.
Amendment 26 allows children 18 years of age to vote for whoever is the cutest or gayest or silliest or most vapid or who photographs well and uses current street slang the most convincingly.
Amendment 27 describes the extremely brief period of time Congress cannot vote a raise for itself. Yes, I wrote it correctly, yes you read it right.
Your Constitution is now inside your head. Go in Peace.
Defend now, with vigor, the Constitution with a clearer focus and with a better understanding of its majesty.
EPILOGUE - BURSTING TO THE SURFACE AND INTO THE BLASTS OF THE HOSES OF CLEANING
And there you have it! Your Constitution is explained to you in full and in detail. Wear it with pride. Die for it with dignity. Pay monetary tribute to it with your property, your money, your time, and your life and your kids and your grandkids with humble appreciation. It is the king that Samuel reluctantly gave to the Israelites only now in new paper or suppository form. It is a sinister and more subtle refinement to the outdated Rule By One type of government that the primitive, cave tradition usually employs when "society" consists of humans in clumps living in dirt and praying to the trees. It is the Koran, an arbitrary list of orders, demands and instructions designed for the sole purpose of creating obedience for its own sake. The only difference between the Koran and the Constitution is the number of lunatics involved in the creation of both. The Koran had one lunatic the Constitution had dozens of the fuckers.
America created Rule By Committee-created Neoscripture in Koran-like mocking imitation of the Law of Moses. Which Jesus, incidentally overruled and abolished. The Constitution is a mocking imitation of the Law disseminated by God to Moses. The atheists' foaming histrionics of hysteria claiming otherwise notwithstanding. The Constitution is more importantly, however, since the Constitution is basically a black magic commodity, it is in fact, an intentionally deliberate mockery of the work of Jesus, who proclaimed the law - all law - unnecessary. If you think the Constitution was created for any other reason than to hamstring Redemption then you are wrong.
Now I do not have any desire to prove this to you because you are probably undergoing enough confusion already. Why overload your murky, sparking, flickering, jumbled neural-circuits any further. However I will leave you with this fact: all political human activity on earth since the promulgation of the Bible is done in defiance of the attempted and aborted work of Jesus: who took onto himself the law. And gave to men liberty under God. Which is what you have when the law is removed. You have liberty. Jesus said liberty is now the property of all mankind. He said the law dies when he dies. And you will then be free: love the God of Israel: respect the property of others. Period. This is the whole of the law. This basically negated the need for lawyers. And that did not fly well with the Jews in 33 AD. And the Constitution's specifically directed goal and purpose is to shit with glee upon that Revolutionary leap for humanity and to crush it just at the instant it had been truly born; at the defeat of the English by the Colonials. Only then was liberty actually unleashed. 11 years later it was lassoed around the ankles as it ran uninhibited, and for 250 years the rope has been winding up the legs and torso and finally to the neck where it now constricts Americans' liberty into extinction, to be eagerly and anxiously replaced by a return to the barbarian lifestyle of urine-drinkers and human-flesh eaters and the pleasant civilized and enlightened and progressive pastime of offering live babies to the gods of fire and mud. And your Constitution, that thing you think is God, is your ruin. Because Man loves deception and idolatry. Because it makes wishing and laziness and looting and the sinister and envious greed of the poor into virtues. And makes devils into saints. And makes badly composed sentences of bizarre decrees and soulless rituals and put onto parchment the global religion of the day, offering sacrifices of the lives and property of all to the Committee God, the Constitution. And when Sharia Law replaces this imperfect version of it that is the Constitution, then shall the world will cease and history will come to a close. The Constitution is merely the indoctrination course to the Graduate school created by Mohammed. Blessings and peace be upon him.
Thank you: and fuck you.
You are dismissed.
There is no homework.
Brenda you can stay. I want to slide my oiled middle finger up and down the upper end of your cute little taco canal.