Saturday, December 20, 2008

Pink Floyd's Dick

That fucker Dennis Ousley just emailed me and said "I'm watching some tv show. Guy puts on some cologne and some chick comes in and sniffs and makes a face and says 'What IS that, it smells like Pink Floyd's dick in here,'" He then went on to say that he can't stop laughing at it even though it makes no sense. Getting Ousley to laugh unless there's a train going off a trestle and down into a ravine a thousand feet below in an uncharted wilderness in the dead of midnight with 500 people on board is damn near impossible. I emailed back "That makes no fucking sense. Pink Floyd is a fucking band. It don't have a dick. The band members might have dicks but then that amounts to saying that it smells like a half dozen penises in the room. Which makes even LESS sense." I told him I was actually starting to get pissed. He emailed back he was still laughing so hard he hurt all over. I said just for the hell of it I was going to say things smelled or tasted or looked like Pink Floyd's dick all day long. "....And is everything all right at this table, sir?..." "Well, the eggs taste a little like Pink Floyd's dick, but, yeah, everything's fine." Or "...Does this dress make me look fat?" "No, it just makes you look a little like Pink Floyd's dick, but other than that' it's fine." "Hello, JJ speaking: could you speak up please, you sound like Pink Floyd's dick." Or "Good morning sir, I hope we're not interrupting, we're going from door to door hoping to make people more aware of the Bible." "The Bible you say? Oh, yes!...I was just reading about the Bible in Pink Floyd's Dick." "Excuse me?" "Pink Floyd's Dick. I think it comes right after Deuteronomy." "Excuse me?" "Are you at all familiar with Pink Floyd's Dick?" ".....no....." "May I show you some literature? It's only 25 cents." "And what is that for again?...." "Pink Floyd's Dick." Now I'm pissed off all over again.

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