Farrah Fawcett Eulogy

Farrah Fawcett was the first famous starlet to make a publicity photo that intentionally displayed visibly erect nipples. She was the Paris Hilton of her day. I'll do the Paris HIlton eulogy when she dies. And before she dies if she requests it. Other famous starlets had their nipples exposed, such as Sophia Loren and Jane Mansfield and Jane Fonda but these were all photos either from a movie or from a paparazzi incident. Farrah Fawcett was the first to break the "taboo that ruins careers," by intentionally producing a preplanned professional photo shoot that displayed her erect nipples. And she did this at the height of her popularity during Charlie's Angels. She managed to achieve this because the photo walked a tightrope that on both sides was a career-busting abyss and right in the middle was an exuberant smile that basically said "I really can't help it that my nipples are hard, it's just a curse I shall have to live with, fans!!" Now: IF SHE HANDN'TA BEEN NEUROTIC...she could have parlayed those majestic nipples of hers into a photographic fortune. She could have left film forever and could have been her own product, if, say, a career manager had hooked her up with an artsy photographer she would have been a gallery object selling photos for thousands of dollars. But no, she wanted to be "a serious actress." Like that's anything. Like they ain't all over the place. And which of them has trillion dollar pokies. None of them. Plus it is clear she was never comfortable with her famous nipples. God gave her the nipples, and probably expected her to make use of them, but apparently he forgot to give her the attitude and confidence to flaunt them until it was basically too late. She finally saw the light for an isolated photo shoot or two but still wanted to be "a serious actress." She would have gotten a lot more jobs if she had settled to be just a "non serious actress whose nipples everyone liked." Nipples on a chick last forever, practically, and it's never too late to be a nipple model if you have the erasers. Let that be a lesson to you youngsters with million dollar nips. Don't be stupid. Show 'em. Even though she was a carrier of prime nippage I have been thoughtful enough to include a picture of her twattage canyon. You're welcome.