Michael Jackson Blamed Book For His Weirdness, Source Says

A source close to the dead body of Michael Jackson who wished to remain anonymous due to the anonymity of his remarks claimed that Michael Jackson blamed his weirdness and oddness on the book When Bikers Meet Humans. "This book has made me weird," the anonymous source said that Michael said in his high-pitched girly voice one day while licking the testicles of a cat. "I was a normal white skinned negro with a fondness for bare-knucked fighting, marlin fishing, and Kodiak bear hunting until I read this," Jackson is claimed to have said. "Then I went all delicate and dainty and you might even say sociopathically psychotically deranged." Asked how this was possible since Jackson had never read a book in his life except the childrens' book What Our Crotches Tell Us by "Anonymous," which he often read aloud to 7 year olds, the anonymous spokesman said "It has pictures that are not nice. There is a drawing of a teen's pussy in it that is not nice. Penises are nicer." Being reminded that there were actually also drawings of penises in the book, including the penis of a horse, a human, and a dog, the anonymous spokesman said, "Really?"