Jackson's 3 "Children" Charged With Murder

The three Jackson "offspring" shown above, whose names are Michael, Michael, and a creature named "Blanket" have been arrested at the Jackson Family home in Encino and charged with first degree murder in the death of their "father" Michael, the famous pop star. "I juff knowz dey dun it," Michael, the family patriarch, chittered loudly while swinging from the chandelier to the ceiling fan to the curtain rod to the bric-a-bracs shelf near the upper part of the wall and then doing a forward flip, bringing his tiny little legs together to increase the speed of his rotation, and then landing on the dining room table, snatching a banana, and then scampering out an open wiindow and into the yard. Jesse Jackson, who has recently declared himself a member of the Michael Jackson family, stated that "Da frtllbg httyghhh vbngngn fwouuutlbb." His son Jesse, translating from Jesse language into Normal Nigger said that his father said "I juffs knowz dem white little shits dun it." The three children are currently in the downtown jail facilty undergoing grueling questioning by the entire Los Angels police force and all the detectives squads. They have not requested lawyers since they have no idea what lawyers are. They are expected to be executed in Iran by Abadinijad next week. The children are reportedly all crying. "Life with him dead is even worse for us than life with him alive was," Michael Prince was heard to say to Michael Paris and Michael Blanket. "It never ends," he concluded, inadvertently quoting Sam Kinison, which made several of the detectives laugh before resuming interrogation. So far only Blanket has confessed, but it cost her several teeth before she opted to own up to things. The other two are expected to confess "certainly before dawn tomorrow," one of the detectives assured reporters, wiping blood from his hands with a towel and laughing. LaToya, who used to have great fake tits, a hot little ass, and the cutest pussy this side of Vajayjay High, and who has always been the most outspoked critic of her parents of all the original Jackson children said "It makes sense to charge the kids with murder and then kill them as soon as possible. All three of them can't wait to escape and accuse Michael of, well, ya know, the usual deranged sexual things that kids are ALWAYS accusing him of," she said, rolling her eyes around, "and also my father wants the limelight. He also wants to start dating Lindsay Lohan's mom. Which to me is, ya know, weird."