Fun With Catholicism
I used to be a Catholic. According to Catholicity you can never STOP being a Catholic, God is well aware that you were "Baptised Catholic" and He can see by the trademark that gets left on your soul at this incident that you are now a Catholic and so you are bound by all the rules. And if you quit doing the rules, when you see God after you are no longer alive and after your eyes have rotted, when you see God in your deceased state He is going to see that mark on your soul and then look in His log and see that you "quit" being a Catholic for a while. OR SO YOU THOUGHT! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! So anyway when I was a child in the first grade they taught us all a prayer. A prayer to our guardian angel. There was a section of this short prayer that i never understood. Probably nobody did. Because now, in my adulthood, I just got SENT this prayer on a little card from some Catholic outfit wanting me to send them money so they can make more Catholics. Why would I encourage that ambition, I am tempted to ask them. Anyway the prayer is there on the card and I will put it here for you. Maybe you can tell me what the fuck is being said. It goes " Angel of God/ my guardian dear/ to whom His love/ commits me here/ ever this day/ be at my side/ to light and guard/ to rule and guide." Burma Shave. Here's the part I can't decipher or translate or get any kind of meaning out of: "to whom His love commits me here". I can't translate that into anything even vaguely meaningful. I almost can't even make nonsense out of it. Anyone who can please feel free to submit your interpretation. It would mean a lot to baby Catholics everywhre I am sure. On behalf of the Pope in advance, thank you.
1 Comments:
J.J.Solari; I know you have no trouble understanding that line, not that brain. What I really want to know is; did you ever make a book of all your EasyRider essays, like maybe "Willie and the Weed", "Slime" et. al. I'll be the first to get it. Even if I do have all the issues. Maybe a Dave Mann (r.i.p.) catalog? I know, "quit yer bitchin". Sincerely, Walter
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