Alternate Blog Greeting That Was Never Used

Hi, stupid. Welcome. Your idiot life just got smarter. Your meaningless existence just took a turn onto a happier highway. My torture is your comedy. My annoyances are your redeemable coupons for fun. At the moment I am bent slightly, quite nude, and pulling my buttcheeks apart so strainingly that i can actually hear ripping noises that for once are not farts. And my ass is facing your direction. Sure, it's gay. Men insulting other men is always gay. Hey, at least I am not pulling my cock out of my zipper and thrusting my crotch in your direction and daring you, "Hey! Suck this, white boy!" like niggers and Mexicans like to do. In fact, it's none of this is REALLY happening at ALL!! It's just letters on a screen. Not even illustrations or drawings. So relax. Asshole.