Adam, Eve, and Us

All Christians now living have been lied to. By other Christians. About Christianity. We, you and me, are not made in the image and likeless of God. Adam was. Eve was cloned from Adam so she was damn near as Godlike. But Adam and Eve lost their Godlike qualities. By fucking animals. Primates, probably. Primates genetically close to Adam and Eve but worlds apart in power and glory. So, Adam and Eve created Us. Not God. We are products of Adam. And Eve. And they were fucking messes. Not at first. But after Lucifer got done with them, fuckin, lookout. So we are not made in the image and likeness of God. Adam was. We are made in the image and likeness of Adam. And Adam was a total asshole par excell-awnce. For instance, after he fucked the Neanderthal chick God came by and Adam hid. Does this sound like Godlike behavior? Hiding? No. It sounds like human behavior. God had to call him. God knew where he was. But he was testing him. To see how fucked up he was. You see the Test wasnt to see if Adam would "eat the apple" - or in other words, fuck the Neanderthals. No the test was Multi Faceted. Ok, Adam fucked the hot monkey chick. Maybe she had nice tits. God made the tits. Maybe God figured He'd cut Adam some slack. Let's take a wait-and-see position on the thing. So he calls Adam. Adam's fucking hiding. God calls him again and practically stands on his foot. Adam figures he's cornered so he comes out. God says, "How come you waited to come out?" Like God doesn't know why. It's more of the test. So far Adam has failed twice. He ate the fruit: then he hid when the boss showed up. Adam comes out. He says he was reluctant to come out because he was naked. A lie. Another failed test. That wasn't why he was hiding. That's just something he came up with. God said "How is it you know what naked even is? When I made you you were just you. Now you're "naked you"? What gives? You couldn't know that unless all of a sudden you knew right from wrong. Or at least knew there was these things, right and wrong. You must have eaten the forbidden fruit. Adam says "She told me to." He blames a chick. REALLY big fucking Failing Mark here. He doesnt take the blame himself. Nope. No gallantry in THAT fucker. He blames Eve. Then to even further distance himself from any blame he reminds God "Oh, and don't forget, you created her. I didnt put her here. You put her here. You decided I needed a companion. You didnt ask me. You just went ahead and made HER. PLUS you made her defective. She won't listen. AND she's obviously a fucking troublemaker: first thing she does outa the gate is eat the apple. The one thing you told her NOT to do. Probly stuck that serpent up her twat too. Ask her that. Ask her if she fucked the snake." Adam's blowin' it all over the place. By this time God's fucking furious. I woulda been too. Bam: Adam's outa there and with a whole new boatload of travail: he traded ten million cool godlike aspects for one new really weird, almost kinda annoying one; knowing good from evil. So then Adam and Eve started fucking each other and also fucking the Neanderthals and there was all this in-breeding, and Adam and Eve's children became giants and the half breeds became sort of us, and then God just killed everyone except some of the half breed humans. So that's why we're fucked up. We're kinda hybrids. Animal hybrids. We ain't in the image and likeness of God. We're in the image and likeness of ADAM'S god: Lucifer. Lucifer is who Adam obeyed. some dumbfuck lyin' Muslim-like just fucking piece of shit. Lucifer is who Adam put his faith and trust in. Which brings us to Obama. But I see I'm out of time. Until next time, remember: anger is an energy; it gives you focus; it makes you stronger. Burma Shave.