Inexplicably Famous People

This will be an ongoing, ever expanding list of people who - completely devoid of any discernable talent, ability, or capacity to generate even the smallest measure of social, human, academic, forensic interest, or even marginal zoological curiosity - are nonetheless astoundingly successful at being employed at astounding salaries in the entertainment industry despite not having even one shred, iota, angstrom, atom or quark of entertainment value. This list includes to date Jimmy Kimmel, Adam Sandler, Red Buttons, Ed Wynn, Dave Attell - gee, all comedians so far - that's kinda weird. Well, I shouldn't say they are all comedians. Since not one of them ever made even one person ever laugh. Which is not that hard to do: to make someone laugh. But these five dullards never accomplished it. And yet they are, or were, right at the top of celebrityville. For being TALENTED. Shit, Red Buttons even won an Oscar. And not for being funny either. For being a pathetic loser. Why was THAT a stretch. On the other hand he would have won the same Oscar if the part had been a comedian. He would have won it for being a pathetic loser. He was just so good at it. Ed Wynn was beyond pathetic. He made Minnie Pearl look like Henny Youngman. He too achieved dramatic fame playing a pathetic loser in Requiem For A Heavyweight. He did not have to act to do that. Of course no one struggled harder and to poorer effect to try and wrench a laugh out of a normal audience with terrifyingly wretched material than doodles Weaver. On the other hand he was not exactly inexplicably famous. He was just inexplicably known. Well, enough about comedians let's have some news. Paul Moyer. Year after year, decade after decade, century after century Paul Moyer takes on more and more tenure from NBC with the worst delivery of telepromted material in the history of the known universe. Steve Edwards of the Los Angeles morning show with Whatsername Barbierri - he has not one interesting quality and now even has grey stubble on his unjustifiably cheery face and yet he has not been out of an on-the-air job in television for 50 years. He was abysmally strange then and he is abysmally strange now. He has not lost or gained ground in strangeness. He is at his eternal level of it. Apparently for eternity. And his good fortune keeps increasing, he now has two hot co anchors and is the least interesting of the three - by far - and probably gets ten times their salaries.