My Script
Every fuckhead on earth's writing a script, right? My script is another Star Wars sequel. I sure hope no one steals it. Putting scripts on the internet is highly not recommended because Hollywood will steal them. Because internet scripts are all so good. My Star Wars sequal is about Darth Batorius, an evil Sith. His acolyte calls him Master Batorius. That's all I have so far. Except for one line of dialogue. Like all Siths and most Jedi's, Master Batorius has a hand and forearm missing. It just goes with the territory. He has an artificial arm farmed out to a limb-guy. Master Batorius' apprentice goes to the arm shop to see what the hold up is on the thing. The mechanic tells him it aint ready. The apprentice says "My Master Batorius' hand job is a long time coming." Like I say, anyone steals this there's gonna be real trouble.
posted by jj solari @ 4:17 PM
6 Comments
6 Comments:
I like this script. There is a crying need for more exposure of the Sith lifestyle. I am looking forward to this movie and I wish you all the best of luck with it. I am spreading two fingers left and the other two fingers right in a Vulcan hand job. You and I need to meet. Sincerely, Jerry, the comic book store owner in Eads. YES, silly, Eads is on earth! It's in Arizona! You are so wild!!
This script raises the question endoliently if not facilously regarding the movement of post industrial man toward a new pardigm perspective anomolously variant and overarchingly tribadic in its modest reverberation of the cunieform nature of the sanguinal interuterine mindset of the classic oppressor. To this end merit can be awarded. Sincerely, Aguinaldina, heraldic, yea almost Valkyreian art writer and reviewer for all art magazines now, in the past, and in the future.
I have heard that there actually are such things as masturbatoriums. Is this true?
How thoughtful of you to ask me. To me a masturbatorium is any place I hang my jizz. But to the purist, a masturbatorium is an arena where people gather to group-masturbate. Usually in the hundreds if not thousands. Everyone lays down but there are always a few renegades who jack off while walking around as though leading a band and even while ejaculating keep up a steady pace and hi-step-it and just let fly with ejaculate willy nilly on anyone's and everyone's tits and stomachs and legs and sometimes faces. I have never known anyone who actually got splashed in the face while laying down by some upright participant who didn't get right to his feet and raise an unholy hell about it. These perambulaters are usually discouraged from reaching climax, they are usually intercepted as soon as they take to their feet and start marching around the place with their legs bowed and their crotches forward and keeping their free hand outstreched sideways like they were walking a tightrope or something, being totally dramatic and "In The Fucking Moment" as these dopes like to say. Hey, you can be in the moment on your back like everybody else, you dont need to be on parade like a fucking spectacle. Anyway these guys are usually haulled outa there - by fags, mind you; they are the only ones who take the job. So a word to the wise: if you dont want to be dragged off against your will while nakded with a hardon and by a queer, dont parade around a masturbatorium during the ejaculation sessions, on your feet, punching the shit out of your swaying ballsack with the ham of your hand and screaming the lyrics to Pet Shop Boys' songs at any Masturbatorium EYE might frequent if you dont want to be 86'd or worse. Just lettin' ya know, casper.
That last comment is the sickest thing I have ever read. And yet strangely invigorating. Sincerely, A Troubled Lad Contemplating the Priesthood.
Your reply to the question; if masturbatoriums exist, proves that you are in fact...the single greatest living American writer...(You are alive, right?) Fuck Time/Warner.
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