Saturday, August 30, 2014

The New Improved Dialogical Saloon Wine And Cigar Bar

 I stood outside the structure called The New Improved Dialogical Saloon Wine and Cigar Bar
   I noticed it was all painted in lavender.
   I turned left and right and looked up and down the street.
   It looked a lot like Virginia City Nevada here.
   "If this is actually Virginia City this bar might be over a hundred years old. Maybe a hundred years ago lavender was not a color fraught with significance. Maybe it was just a color. Not an announcement."
   For me to talk, ruminate, and try to solve puzzles to myself aloud in a public place is not at all unusual.
   I stepped up the steps, and putting my hands in front of me, I pushed aside the flappy saloon doors of the Dialogue Saloon and sauntered inside.
   i made a point of acting like i owned the place. Naturally nobody gave a shit. Naturally i was ignored. Naturally i interpreted this as fear and respect. 
   i noticed first of all the lavender touches here and there throughout the decor, subtle and hard to detect: the lavender bar; the lavender floor; the lavender walls; the lavender ceiling; the lavender dishware; the lavender clothing  on the waiters and other male personnel. i wondered if maybe this was a gay establishment. 
   i went over to someone standing and talking to a hot chick at the same time leaning in her direction in an effort to be more personal.  i tapped him a little on one shoulder. He straightened back up, all defensive and annoyed but at least seemingly willing to see what the fuck was up.
   "Yeah?" he said, more or less with a edge but certainly civilized.
    I said "This a gay bar?" 
   He stared at me, a look of bewilderment mixed with some added bewilderment. 
   "Why the fuck would you ask that." he inquired in a not specifically rhetorical way. I think he was actually curious about the answer.
    "Well,  it's all lavender in here." i pointed out. 
    He considered this for a second and then said "What makes something gay is a dick in the mouth or up the ass when the mouth or the ass with a dick up it has a dick of its own. not lavender appointments." 
    "i would hardly call 'painting every fucking thing in sight lavender' an appointment." 
    He spat on the floor and said "This aint a gay bar. Ok?"
    i said "Sure. No need to get fucking hostile." 
    He said "The fact that you're still alive right now means i am not getting hostile. Trust me."
    i stepped slowly backwards away from him in a final gazing appraisal of his words before we parted company - which parting was now in progress -  and i wondered what exactly he meant. He may have been drunk. Its hard to decipher the meandering blather of an inebriate. But this was a bar after all. Finding a drunk inside it would not be out of the ordinary. 
   A hostess - in lavender - approached me with a tray and some empty glasses and inquired if i would like a drink. 
   i checked her out. She was something. I wont go into detail but just imagine a chick who was something. She was one of those. 
   She had on one of those French Maid things only with a lot less material. There were tits in there, certainly, as i could see, and there were two legs with most of them uncovered by the frilly bottom part. Still, there was all the fucking lavender in here so i decided to do some subtle detective work via a kind of round-about method i have of discerning the truth of things while seeming to be asking an innocent question.
    "You have a vagina do you, I presume?" 
    She - or it - looked right at me without changing expression and said "Yeah. I do." 
   "Were you born with it?" 
   "Yeah. I was. You want a drink?" 
    Wow. I had to admire her reserve. AND i assumed she was telling the truth. 
   Since she was so smoking hot i decided to advance the chit chat to a more meaningful level. 
   "You want me to fuck you at all at some point, maybe?"  
    She looked at me for what seemed a long time. Then she said "You have any idea how old i am?"  I said nope. Didnt see how it mattered but i didnt mentioned that. She said "i'm 19." 
    I said "Good for you. I'm 70. You're a piker at aging compared to me." 
    She said "I aint about to fuck a fucking grampa dilapidated saggy skinned, saggy faced, probably endentulate, fucking walking corpse."  
    "I presume you mean me," I said.
    "Yeah. I mean you." she said. 
     I said,  "Yeah well let me tell you a little something about the corpse you're not about to fuck.  In fact let me tell you something about old men in general since you seem to be oblivious to everything in general. It's a fact us old geezers might look like a shambling versions of Hell. But that thing you will be sucking on - which will my fucking cock - looks now just like it looked when i was 16: young, vibrant, hard, and smooth as talcum. And your eyes will be so closed-shut with euphoria and orgasmic helplessness from my fingerfucking magic you wont give a shit what the rest of me looks like. Bitch." 
   She looked at me for a very long time. This was not unusual for her to do since from way back at the start of the relationship she had been doing that a lot already. Well, she was doing it again and then after a while she said "That's got my attention, believe it or not. Your cock really looks a lot better than you do?"
   "Most things look better than I do, toots, but if you like cock at all you won't be able to tell mine - or any other old coot's cock with a boner - you wont be able to tell it from the cock of the Negro basketball player you fucked in college. Except for the color. And maybe the size. Assuming you fucked a Negro basketball player in college."
   "No, I never did," she said matter of factly.
   "When did you fuck a Negro. In high school?"
   "I never fucked a Negro ever. Listen," she said, "when do you want to do all this fucking with that smooth and slender sausage saber of semen sauce that you say comes out of a dick that looks like it's 19, same age as me."
   "I never said it was slender. I don't know why you would even assume that. The width of my cock never came up in the discussion. I don't know why you are making that assumption. Assuming it's unwarranted. And I said it looks 16. Not 19"
   "Do you want to fuck me or not."
    I said sure. Why not.
   I would describe the encounter which took place in the alley behind the dumpster on a mattress that may have been used previously by one or two persons at one time or another judging by its mostly liquid contents and it not being a waterbed. I would describe it as interesting. But I think a gentleman often chooses to hide the details of fallen virtue in the fairer sex from lechers such as, say, yourself. And I am, if nothing else, a gentleman. Be assured however that when it was done she was convinced that I had not been lying.
   "Yeah, you look like hell, alright, but your cock has not an age spot or wrinkle on it. Well, it does now, maybe - have some wrinkles - but it's flaccid. So….."
   I said, "I tole ya." 
   "Yeah, well, I guess I've learned something."
   "You'll learn more later, it has VD. Also just like a 16 year old's."
   "Hey," she said, "What cock doesnt." 
   We shook hands and I departed the premises of the Dialogical Saloon and went my way, a vagabond of love in a love-starved world. 
   Now, I know what you're saying: "Say, were there any pillows on that mattress?"
   There were, but they were not to my liking and while she wanted to cuddle and hug and sleep the night away in contented post-coital relaxation and happiness I said "No, you have to go back inside, you have customers waiting at the bar and at at least four tables."


My Critics So Far

   I rail against the Constitution on three sites that come to mind that I remember: here, on Facebook, from which I have been banned from posting for a month because i say nigger a lot. A Marine of all people ratted me out because I hurt his feelings. My opinion of the Marines as a force-for-fear dropped a bit because of this incident. I guess their new war strategy is to tell the commanding officers of the enemy that their underlings are shooting at them and could they tell them to stop it.
   And, getting back to my original statement,  I do it - lambaste the Constitution -  to some extent on The Aging Rebel, a site run by a normal person and commented on by bloviating, strutting Dads Their Own Kids Want To Kill.
   So far I have never had anyone contradict anything bad I have said about the Constitution. I have had them all tell me to go fuck myself though. I keep telling them "For once it's not all about me: but rather, where is the error in my views." No one - and by "no one" i mean not one person ever by anyone's counting or number system - has ever said "Ok, well,  first of all you are wrong about……" and then told me what I was wrong about. I mean chitchat and cameraderie go right out the window. It's all "Why you commie pinko traitor, go live in Russia if you don't like it here." Actually I do like it here: San Simeon is only 250 miles away. In fact if I was going to move anywhere it would probably be there. But Russia? I would hate it there. I don't know why everyone thinks I would like it there better. Though I hear the teenage girls will fuck anything rather than not be fucking because orgasm is the only thing the State does not control or forbid or regulate there.

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Everything You Need To Know About The Jews

   Hitler was right about the Jews, they actually are the cause of all the world's troubles. He was wrong in thinking that they all had to be killed. Without the law the Jews are helpless. They have no weapons without the law. They hide behind the law which they created. However if you get rid of the law the Jews will disappear. They will have no refuge. And I think we know from history that they sure as fuck ain't about to fight. Oh they might make a bit of a pretense at it. But when it comes to "Ok, fucker, let's settle this"…………no. It ain't gonna happen. They don't settle things. They drag them out. They can drag things out for thousands of years and never get tired or bored.
   Now the way you demonstrate that a Jew is helpless without the law is to suggest to him that all laws are evil. There will be no end to his laughing. However were you to whisper to him a plan that you created to abolish the existence of all human-legislated law he would kill you on the spot. He would find that ability to kill that Jews usually run away from and he would find it anxious to go to work because you would be so solidly dead within a billionth of a second that your body might not find out about if for a good five minutes. Meanwhile the Jew would be gone and you would be falling to the ground with not a soul around. That is how fast a Jew would kill you if you were to whisper to him a way to abolish all legislation and all courts of law and all methods of law enforcement. Try it. Well, if you come up with a way to….you know……do all that stuff. I actually know a way. But I'll be damned if I am going to say what it is here. I know for a fact at least 8 Jews read this. Getting killed by one Jew would be bad enough. Getting killed by eight of the fuckers? That would be hard to live down.

The Koran Versus Jesus

   According to the Koran God cannot have a son. At least allah can't. Yahweh can but Allah can't. Not that the Koran ever mentions Yahweh. In the Koran Allah is the Bible deity, or "the book" deity as the Koran refers to the Old Testament. Or its forbears. Or its afterburners. Whatever they're called. The Pentytuke. The Talmuck. Some fuckin' thing like that. At any rate, god cannot have a son. So Jesus is not god. And since Christians not only worship a Jew but worship this Jew as the creator of the universe…….well, that is why Muslims detest Christians more than they detest anything else, including pigs, jews, women, heterosexuality, cleanliness, underwear, the avoidance of murder and the abstaining from incest with prepubescent children. So the Koran, rather than state that Allah, unlike Yahweh, is weak in some areas, such as sexual intercourse with women, it merely asks, rather than states, the question, over and over and over "Can God have a son?" And to this question asked over and over in the Koran, the anwer you are supposed to give is no. Even though God can actually have a son if the God is Yahweh. So the Koran basically admits that its god is a bit of a shithead when it comes to omnipotence. Or any other kind of potency probably since if you cant get it up for a human female you could be fuckin' gay.  

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Banned Again

Oh, hi, blog. Yes that's right, I have been banned from Facebook for 30 days for saying nigger. and it was a Marine that did it. A white Marine. No one ever said Marines were intelligent. Just killers. And he certainly killed me off for a month. I'm gonna get through this. I will be more sensitive of Marine Feelings from now on. I have learned my lesson. On the plus side, or maybe on the minus side, I will be posting a lot of posts on this blog. And probably my anti Constitution blog and my New Las Vegas blog. So it should all work out.