letter to trump about jeb

                                                         taking Jeb Soundbites for sleep

Dear Donald Trump,

     I was lookin' at the ad yer runnin' of Jeb blabbering incoherently and boringly, with someone sleeping off to the side. I noticed a few things besides the sleeper. For instance; 

     What's with that very unheterosexual wrist-wrap that he's sporting? What IS that? A couture statement? Is that some new manly fashion accessory to keep one's wrist from going limpy? 

     And i notice he has his coat off and his sleeves rolled up for the hard work he is engaged in in providing a sleep-worthy atmosphere for everyone to slumber to. Do you really need to roll up your sleeves to speak in a droning monotone of pablum-filled baby talk? Is it really all that strenuous that you need to take your coat off to get down to the serious business of saying "it's for our kids" and "it will create jobs"? 

     And look at those hands. Those are the hands of a dainty little hand-model for dishwashing liquid. I'm serious, he has the delicate smooth soft hands of a Chinese nurse. 

     Has that sad-faced doofus ever done more back-breaking work than remove a tea cozy? What's with the rolled up sleeves with hands like that?  Is he trying to frighten his fingers? They're going to think he's going to actually do something he keeps rolling up his sleeves. His fingers could go into anaphylactic shock thinking they might have to actually do something more strenuous than scratch his scrotum.

     And is talking monotonously really all that exhausting a job? He should drape a towel around his neck, it might help convince everyone he's breakin' a sweat.

Sincerely, 

J.J. Solari