Friday, December 28, 2012

Why Americans Are Fucked Up In One Sentence

   Americans are fucked up because they have never worked in the retail business.
   When you work in the retail business for at least ten years you eventually come to realize from repeated and repeated and repeated experience: that there are only other individuals. There are no imaginary entities such as a corporation or a State or an agency or a committee or a group or a board or a government or a municipality or a Church or an association. You come to learn that these things are not things you deal with. You only deal with individuals. You don't deal with all those other things because they are just imaginary entities. Like Fairyland. The only reason all these other non existent entities are not called Fairyland is because the people working in these entities have a vested interest in keeping you convinced that they are not fairylands. Otherwise they would be out of a job if you - who are paying them even though its not voluntarily - if you were to wake up and open your fucking eyes and see that these entities are just imaginary; with real people - all of them assholes - fucking with you and your stuff and your destiny morning noon and night.
   But when you work in retail long enough you come to realize there is no Acme Assplug company. There are only Acme Assplug employees.
   The difference between Acme Assplug employees and public servants however is that Acme Assplug employees have to actually sell something. Assplugs. The Department of Transportation on the other hand doesn't have to do shit. Except keep telling you relentlessly that your tax dollars are at work creating a "temporary" traffic jam to replace the perennial traffic jam when they are not working on the road, while they build another inadequate road to replace the inadequate road you are already on. If there was an Acme Roads Company you would at least have the opportunity to test their wares and maybe not use the Department of Traffic's road. And if there was also a Podunk Roads Company and a Buford's Road company you would have even more opportunities to choose and select which road just might have the least tie ups and the least accidents. And you would use that product.
   But the DOT is an imaginary entity with no product at all other than a lackluster disguise proclaiming to be a "transportation" entity even though they build no cars or trains or busses or planes or even bicycles. Which are actual transportation devices. A badly built inadequate road that you can access for "free" is not transportation. It is traffic and accidents. As the constant 50,000 deaths a year on American roads - which doesn't bother anyone - will attest. You shoot up a grammar school and kill 50 people all fucking hell breaks loose to punish everyone not responsible. You build a road system that kills 50,000 people a year - many of them grammar school children - everyone just shrugs and gets on with their life. For some reason it doesn't concern them. 50 strangers dead in Connecticutt, oh dear, let us all have a month of prayer and fasting, an American Ramadan, to assuage our collective guilt.
   You are being fucked with, shithead.
   When you work in retail it dawns on you - if you are a good employee, which most employees are not - that it's only individuals who matter. It's not the CEO who matters if the janitor at the company is the one actually pulling the strings. You eventually figure this shit out. You eventually figure out that human beings are who are fucking you, people with families and carbuncles on their ass, not departments and agencies and committees and companies and governments and laws. All these other things are words used to hide from you what is really happening to you: which is that Jack Cuntnose is fucking with you and making your life hell on earth using the sociopathic reason "It's my job." Hey, Jack, your job sucks dick. Just like you do.
   There is no "United States." There are only cops with a lot of different titles and names other than cops but who are just cops - a judge is a cop: the truant officer is a cop. The clerk at the assessor's office is a cop; a senator is a cop; an assemblyman is a cop; the mayor is a cop; every employee of a public sector entity is a potential cop because you have to fucking obey him the instant he decides to order you to obey him.  There are only these people claiming to represent the mythical non existent fairyland called the United States. They are the "country" - the public employees: not you.
   Every country on earth is one of these fairylands claiming to be something real and majestic and wonderful - all of them filled with cops ordering people around. And when these get tired of being ordered around they become the cops and order the former cops around and anyone new who shows up.
   When you are in retail for a while you come to see all of this crap. You see it's all just smoke and mirrors and orders and threats. That's America; smoke and mirrors and orders and threats. And of course a whopping dossage of punishment and fines and confiscations and detentions and executions and orders to go to war with other private citizens from a different "country." You come to realize that it's individuals you are dealing with: not countries or states or counties or cities or departments or companies or the most fairyland and vaguest and mythical entity of all,  The Law. Some of these actual, real, breathing, walking around, 3D individuals are nice, some are not, some you can deal with, some you cant.
   Which is why retail people make lousy jurors: they can see all the assholes in the room and the guy on trial is usually the only normal guy in the building. You can talk to him and get some sort of reality-based answer. Which is one reason, incidentally, why a juror is not allowed to talk to the guy on trial. Have a fucking clue, stupid. Have you noticed this? can't talk to the bad guy yourself: a bunch of paid liars, most of them on your dime, only can talk to him. Your job is just to sit there and not even decide if he's a shithead or not: you just decide if he violated the statute that put him there. The statute created out of the thin air of Fairyland's ass by one of the paid liars you are providing with a pension.
   Retail people figure all this out eventually. No one else ever does. Except the people in the public sector. They figured it out even before the retail people did. They figured it out the first day on the job. And started laughing with joy and happiness at your stupidity. Because you think you need them. Because you're stupid. And I hear you cant fix that. Become a waitress for ten years. You'll find out you can fix stupid.  You just need to deal with enough assholes for a while on a one to one basis. Your stupid circuit will straighten itself right out, pal.


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