Jury Duty

 

      I got another jury duty notice on Christmas Eve. Beelzebub came to call with his "it's a privilege and a duty" summons. I have decided to stop voting if that will put a stop to this nonsense that never does me any good. Voting does me no good and jury duty does me no good. Nothing government does does me any good, except of course the roads, which are fantastic and safe and well maintained.

   I am scheduled to start making phone calls on Feb 4th. You do this for five days. At the other end of the call is a machine that tells you if your "group number" has been selected via another machine. If after 5 days of calling, starting on a Monday, if by Friday your group number has not been selected you are done with jury privilegeduty. If your group number has been selected the next morning you are expected to show up, in my case, 30 miles away, in a very depressing huge building with really nice floors and walls made of marble and wood and glass built in the 20's.
   The huge building is always packed more dense than a Greyhound bus going from Chula Vista to Bakersfield.
   The stupidest and grubbiest people are the public defenders. These guys are truly the bottom of the human barrel as far as intelligence and grooming and awareness of anything at all.
   The meanest, most evil and ruthless people are the prosecutors. They all look like they can't wait to get to the Senate in Washington and start fucking with people Big Time.
   The most calm and complacent people in the building are the judges. They all know that when their personal courts come to order they each have more personal and immediate power than any bureaucrat in the United States System of Bureaucrats, including the President and the Secretary of War and the Chief of Staff at the Pentagon.
   The most intelligent and honest looking people are the jury fodder. They are intelligent but they are unlearned and uneducated. They think that all these other people - who they are paying - and who ordered them to be there - they think these parasites are all noble beings "keeping things from becoming chaotic."
   The most interesting people in the building are the "criminals." The people you are there to pass judgement upon even though you never met a-one of them in your life. And if you ever did meet one of them you would be disqualified from judging him. And God forbid the person on trial did something to you personally or committed the crime for which he is on trial, he committed it on you. Oh dear, you cannot judge him. The fact that you actually have a dog in the fight bars you from doing anything but sitting on the sidelines, assuming they would even let you into the courtroom, having a stake in the matter as you would.
   The reason the criminals are the most interesting is because these are the ones that the people you are paying to order you into court, these people are on the verge of being ordered into prison. They all have ghastly expressions and demeanors and looks of fear. Except for the people who like prison because it's a good life if you are a deranged human and if you have the soul of a sociopath and opt not to go into politics or law enforcement, which are the roads offered by government for sociopaths to follow who want to use their noggins and can see the other side of the criminal coin - law enforcement -  instead of using their natural instincts for illegal crime rather than the more rewarding legal crime, which law enforcement is, legal crime.
   All life in the United States is life in a prison thanks to the Constitution which drew up the plans for universal prison and managed to convince everyone it was a guarantee of freedom and liberty. On the streets this is called "a confidence scheme." The nature of the prison changes as you look down the line of them. Roughly, it starts with school - which you are ordered to attend - marriage - which you are enticed to attend via the vagina and which immediately after the ceremony becomes a State Prison - the military during times of the Draft, which you must attend or be sent to the final prison, the concrete same-sex prison where you are turned into something even the animal kingdom would find foul and unuseable and worthy of extinction.
   Somewhere in the middle of these prisons is the jury duty prison. Some others are the tax prison in which you never own your property and funds, and the continual-registration prison in which you never own your car, and the licensing prison in which you never own your business. If you defy the mailed summons of the jury duty prison, and if the stars are aligned not in your favor that day and a bureaucrat decides to follow through on all the threats spelled-out in the summons...you will go to jail or be fined a large amount of money. Or both. This will be very sad and troubling to you because you of course have been brought up since infancy to believe that jury duty is a blessing. To be punished for not complying with your civic responsibility to the people you are paying to order you around would make no sense. It would be wrong. you, of course, being the wrongdoer.
   So you go.
   Or
   You try to get out of it.
   People with any sense at all try to get out of it. In fact there are conditions itemized which, if you can claim one or more of them, you can avoid jury privelgefunobligationparty.
   The problem comes if you lie and they find out about it. Then you have committed something known as perjury. You have lied to someone forcing you to do something not only against your will but which is inherently evil. I know this will come as a shock to most law abiding Christian American gun toting nigger-hating Americans that jury duty is evil but it is. Good luck to me trying to convince you of it.
   So you have lied on one of the excuses and you have been found out. that is perjury, or "lying to God." the god of course varies depending on the era, and the god of the "oath" is never defined, but I can assure you it is one of the pretender gods because the Actual God said "swearing oaths is evil in itself, forget about who you are swearing to, I ain't even got to that."Or words to that effect.
   So you are now hanging onto the edge of a 4 year prison term with sadistic Muslims and white hating Negors and ruthless Mexicans and a few other ilks who have nothing to lose by killing you since they are all going to be in prison for their entire lives.
  Welcome to jury dutyfundeathkillprivilege.
 

   None of this so far even has anything remotely connected to the additionally horrific experience of actually getting selected to serve at a trial.
   Which is a separate pile of relentless shit all its own.