Thomas Kinkade "Painter of Light"

Thomas Kinkade is that painter fucker who even has his own "stores" in touristy towns that attract wanna-be-rich tourists, Like Santa Barbara and Carmel and Laguna, and who paints without a doubt the shittiest piles of shit in the shittiest pile of shit manner in the whole history of shitty painting. His fucking "art motto" is "Painter of Light." Talk about lyin': from an art standpoint he is just the opposite of a "painter of light." There is absolutely no light in his paintings. There is no way to determine where any light source in the scene exists. He paints the most hellish little fairy cottages and villages, and some of these little dollhouse ghettoes have "lights" in the windows. If that is what they are referring to by Painter of Light they should be saying painter of "lights." Or even more accurately "Painter of Light Bulbs." Because a "painter of LIGHT" would have a completely different meaning to anyone who knew anything about painting; for instance an actual painter or a student of painting or a student of art, it would mean something very specific and something that is the most elusive element to "paint" which would be "the light." And I am sure he knows all this and takes a particular diabolical delight in using this terminology in this particularly evil manner. He's sort of like the Jerry Falwell of painting: he's acting holy but he's chortling and snickering brimstone. He CLAIMS to be this Very Pious and Studious and Honest and Jesus Loving "Christian." The most evil of "Christians" usually have the word "light" involved within their universe somehow. It refers to Lucifer. Not anything any good. So then if you were to call Thomas Kinkade a "Painter of Lucifer" I would not be having any kind of problem at all with the guy. Because if there were ever scenes from an eternal hell of dismal horrors it would have to be the scenes depicted by Thomas Kinkade. I see Lucifer bright and shining in every one of his trillion shitty piles of shit. Here's the depressing part to any genuine monitor of justice: he is making MILLIONS offa these lowgrade abominations from the pit of ugliness. And here's the creepy part to anyone who knows Thomas Kinkade: he actually knows how to paint good pictures. He just prefers not to. He prefers to sell his talent to Satan and palm off this crap he himself detests to idiots. Hey, I guess it's a living and a goddamn pretty good one. My respect for the guy though would skyrocket if he would just admit what he's up to instead of carrying on like he "just using his God given talents." 'Cause there ain't no talent involved in what he's doing. He's buried his talents under a "light" of imbecilic mediocrity. And buried art under his shit. And buried himself under his bank account. The dollars of which are legion. As if what he does himself isn't bad enough, he now farms out his "style" to other "painters." In the "business of images," a "reporoduction" of an "original" artwork has to be labled as such. However Kinkade has now licensed other painting hacks to "put genuine paint" on his reproductions so that they can be touted to the idiot tourist fuck as "real paintings." Not just reproductions. You can go into one of these eerie green felt darkened painting whorehouses awash with leperous depression in his franchise empire and see some doofus-fuck employee daubing actualy paint onto a reproduction. Kinkade is truly the PT Barnum of our age. Except PT Barnum was a LOT more honest: he actually called his customers suckers to their face and for the record. Kinkade calls his customers wise purveryors of aesthetic beauty. I call them dumbass shitheads. Here's the truly hilarious part: a lot of these fucks are buying this shit as an "investment." Like it's all going to go up in value. It's already overvalued more than an illegal Mexican's home loan in Los Angeles.