The Ultimate Crappysnack

I have discovered the ultimate crappy worthless delicious snack food. I know what you're saying, pussy with Twinkie creme smeared on it. No, it's even better, chocolate-drizzled toffee popcorn. You don't eat it, you shovel it in. Goodbye, JJ. Hello Orson. Be warned now: never eat any. Learn from me. Learn from my doom and my end of days. Chocolate drizzled toffee popcorn. I just couldn't stop eating it. My tombstone will have a solitary popped corn with crossbones underneath it. That ought to be the warning on the packges of these things: corn and bones. This blog has given so many ideas to Madison Avenue and Hollywood. You think I will ever hear-back about any of it? No; the Jews and Italians will make their millions from me and move on. Won't matter to me, I'll be in a bed, so fat I can't be even wheeled out of the room, on three oxygenators, five dialysis machines, a dozen defibrilators, and still stuffing chocolate-drizzled toffee popcorn down my gullet.