Art Defined In 5 Words

Any intentionally nonfunctional human creation. You know how much blather has been expended "defining" and "explaining" and "interpreting" and "fleshing out" a definition of art and just generally convoluting this subject until anyone with any talent flees from the whole matter leaving it in the hands of very odd, usually atheistic, faggots? A lot. If you ever take a hankering to learning how to write really bad prose, pick up a copy of Artforum and head straight for the reviews section. Although the articles will also generally be guaranteed to give you a good whalloping. But the reviews are generally submitted by the novices and up and comers in the art criticism business. You will have your head spun right off your neck by the most convoluted, totally meaning-free hyroglyphical stalagmites of thick verbal granite impossible to penetrate, interpret or translate. What causes this, you may ask. I actually have no idea. All I can do is give you a 5 word definition of art. Sorry.