Gwyneth Fucking Paltrow

That fucking cunt is all over my TV this Christmas season. She's with her fucking mother. A few years ago she was all over the screen crying about her dead fucking father. Is she ever gonna become a fucking adult? Enough with the fucking parents, fa crise sakes. SHE'S so special, her fucking PARENTS are so special, her fucking HOUSE IN FRANCE is so special, her fucking VILLA IN FUCKING TUSCANY is so special, and her fucking CHALET IN SWITZERLAND is so very special and her APARTMENT IN NEW YORK is so very special and her fucking PRIVATE OUTHOUSE IN YOSEMITE VALLEY is so very special, and OH Look!...Golden Shimmering Feces emerging from her soft and princessly AHSS!! And the fucking pained expressions. Jesus Hoola Hooping Christ. She carries on like she's the Suffering Fucking Savior redeeming all of mankind from their sins, which she is now taking full responsibility for. The only thing she EVER talks about is Gwyneth Paltrow or how this that or the other thing is affecting Gwyneth Paltrow. This person means so much in HER life and that person means so much in HER life and this is how HER life is going at the moment and she is so fucking "strong" and she is so fucking "silently suffering" and she is so "fortunate" and she is so "sad," and her life is this, and her life is that. I wish her life was fucking over. And in all things, o I must tell you, she is JUST SO O SO VERY GWYNETH DON'T YOU KNOW. Her father is probably having the time of his death without that goofball daughter of his around to torture him with news about how her life is going. She must be a 99th Degree Mason or the Mother of the Antichrist to be getting so much devoted attention from the Publicity Machine. She of course is The Fashion Icon of the 21st Century. She has SUCH a fantastic "Fashion Sense" whatever the fuck that is. What's that mean, she doesn't wear underwear covered in shit? Her fucking shoes match? She was on the cover of Vogue a couple years ago. There was a quote next to her enigmatic loverly demure long-suffering yet brave smile. It said "I Have Something That Is So Real." I am still trying to understand why this is profound. I am still tryiing to understand what the fuck it even MEANS. And why nobody including herself is embarassed by this. I'm STILL embarassed, just seeing it while passing by the checkstand on my way to the fucking Diet Cokes. She has something that is so real. What's even creepier than Gwyneth Paltrow is that this utterance actually had some meaning to the staff of the mag and the fucking READERS of the mag. One things mags know is their "readers." If they don't they go out of business real quick. And Vogue has a lotta readers. And I guess they all know what "I Have Something That Is So Real" means. Is it VD? Is it anorexia? Is it a wan, wistful, nailed-on expression? Is it a WWE dick up her ass? And that was three years ago. I'm still reeling from the fucking quote. What the fuck is so fucking SPECIAL about this fucking creep. Somebody fuckin' tell me before I go nuts with this. Does she know where the Hidden Imam is? Is she the decendant of Jesus and Mary Magdeline? Is she the Third Secret of Fatima? Is she the planted mole love-fuck of that Iranian mental patient Abbadabbajew-badinijadand she's monitoring the centrifuges for the CIA? She's gotta be involved in SOMETHING big to be gettiing all this attention for no known fucking reason. At least Paris Hilton blows people ON VIDEO. So HER outlandish fame is no mystery. At least to ME. But this other bimbo - she ain't even a BIMBO! Help me out here sumbuddy.