The Statue of Liberty

You don't realize how fucked-up the Statue of Liberty is until you see the new one that was made - or at least drawn - for the ad campaign that launched the opening of the NewYork NewYork Hotel and Casino ten years ago. The first instant I saw it I could not understand how Congress could not have authorized the immediate shipping of that dull Athenian monstrosity in New York Harbor back to France and replace it with a similar sized version of the Mob one. I mean, it would not be all that inappropriate: the original nightmare was nothing more than part of an advertising campaign for some product or something in France. Then the deal fell through and the bogus "wonderful gift" idea got run up the French ad agency's flagpole and the execs all saluted. And "The Statue of Liberty" was born. And "The Statue of Acme Steer-Shit Fertilizer" or " The Statue of Fuk-No-Mor Pussy&Penis Dissolver," or "The Statue of Granma Genevieve's Drapes-As-Dresses" was forgotten. At least in France. They knew a fucking white elephant when they saw one. They also knew a sucker when they saw one. "We weel geev thees to the Amairicainz. They are all Jewz. Sumtaing fray uff shargz, zey weel leap upon weeth both feet. HA HA: zey well moas laklee plais eet faceeng the sea!! HAHA Where zey cannot even see it!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Zey weel stare at its ASS! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Fucking French had our idiot number once again. It's out there now, in the moat, looking out at Shamu and Orca and fucking Easter Island. Too bad we don't have 3.000 of them. Then we'd BE Easter Island. Now the statue the Mob designed, now THAT was a saucy little number that if put into the harbor would have infuriated every weirdo and Muslim and pompous ased psycho on earth and would have been an image worth defending: a hot little vixen holding her dress down from the wind like some Gil Elfgren cheesecake legend and winking with the torchlight of vaginal energy glowing from between her legs, not beckoning Mexicans and Islamic fucks and Armenian assholes to come on over, with some cave-dwellers firebrand being held over her head. The Mafia version of the Statue of Actual Liberty used to be on billboards all over Los Angeles when the hotel opened but then it vanished and you can't even Google it. There's no way you can frame the search inquiry so that Google will have a clue about what the fuck you're lookiing for. I have it on a book of matches gotten from the hotel and would put here on the blog if I knew how. But I don't. So fuck that. But I guarantee ya, it's better than the drab gawking curtain-draped broad that's out there right now. It's a lifeless, uninteresting totally serious mess. Not like that cute hot alluring wench the Mafia created. God bless the Mob; they GET America. A lot clearer than the goddamn FRENCH do.