The Fecinal

I think there should be fecinals as well as urinals. Is there some reason why a toilet has to be three inches off the ground so that you get a hernia trying to ease yourself onto it? Is there some reason why you have to be sitting in a fetal position to excrete dung? Can't you shit just as well leaning back against the butt-encasing fecinal? It's a lot easier on the knees, that's for sure. It's pro'bly easier on the ass too; your hemorrhoids ain't bein' pushed-on by your sphincter takin' up all the weight of your upper body. With the fecinal your feet would be supporting your weight and your sphincter could be pressed into service for what it's needed for, squeezing that log out rather than splaying itself into hemorrhages pushing against the air because your pelvis is at a right angle for no known reason other than 3,000 years ago the first toilet was placed three inches off the ground and perpendicular to the user. With the fecinal user and shit-holder are as one. It would be so comfortable one might never want to leave. I want to use one right now and I don't even have to shit. You wouldn't even need to overhaul the public bathrooms now in use. With some minor modifications the present urinals could be converted into double duty fecinals as well. It would just involve some new plumbing arrangement at the base. Don't ask me what kind, I'm just the brain child not the fucking fine tuner. Let some minion figure that out. Jesus Christ. I'm doing enough inventing this shit. You fine tune it you're so fucking bright. I notice you're just READIN' this, not writin' it. There's a reason for that, asshole. Take a minute and try and figure out what it is. Creep.