More on Kartchner cave

Well, it hasnt taken me long to find out why the Kartchner caves are so fucked up. It's because they were discovered by loonies. One of them actually thinks that the cave has a cave god and he prays to it before entering and imploring that he - the guy praying - not act in a manner unbefitting the grease and ooze and slime and ichor and bile that's dripping from the holy and sacred walls. Whether the cave god responds to this particular hope is not known but we DO know that the cave god does think that in all humility and pious appreciation to the cave god's efforts at architecture that you need to pay almost 20 bucks to see him and his creation otherwise you can just stay the fuck out. The cave god, like all decent gods, is apparently a Jew and knows the value of a dwollah. The cave god is also sensitive to light and so you will never be able to take a picture inside the place otherwise you would be less inclined to purchase the ones taken for you by the cave god. You also better not just show up to go in there because there's a two month waiting list, unless you get lucky and get standby status to go in. I want to remind you that the cave is extremely delicate; o so very VERY delicatsy welicatsy but NOT so delicate that paying-through-the-fucking-nose visitors need to be forbidden to enter. They do not. They may go in. Soon as they show the cash. The cave god is revered and mighty and filled with holiness and touchy as hell and OCD to the max, but he's not stupid. He is in charge of the "wet" cave and he wants his beak wet as well. Tit for Tat. He wets the walls: you wet the cave god. Ahmen.