Greta Van Susteren
Is there anything more homely than Greta Van Susteren? Is there anything more repulsive? Is there anything more stomach turning? To find out I went out into the public arena with a photo of Greta Van Susteren and a photo of a deer hit so hard and so fast by a Jeep that it was, minus its legs and head, contained like a kind of Christmas wrapping around the carburetor of the vehicle. I asked people at random which photo they considered to contain the most disturbing image. They unanimously and unhesitatingly pointed to the embedded road-killed carcass and said "I would rather look at this. In fact I would rather eat this than look at the other one." Emboldened and filled with excitement, I then took to the public streets again, this time substituting the photo of the dead deer with a photo of the piled and emaciated starved, lifeless Jews at Dacchau. Again Greta came in a unanimous first in inch for inch foulness to the eye. Leprosy at the turn of the Twentieth Century was still a horrific and dreaded fearfulness, and photographs of victims at the time are akin to seeing the dripping fungoidal monstrosities that menace so many of the Xbox and Play Station first person shooter games in their ability to instill sheer revulsion and panic. Greta Van Susteren's picture came in first to this selection too. You might be saying "You just used a bad photo of her." I cannot refute this. At least not based on the reactions of the crowds. It must have been a VERY bad photo of her. To be fair I would like to try all the preceeding experiments again but this time with a good photo of Greta Van Susteren. If anyone has one please let me know.
posted by jj solari @ 8:00 PM
4 Comments
4 Comments:
Oprah Winfrey's tits are a lot uglier than Greta Van Susteren's face. Which tells me that you have a lot to learn about ugliness.
I have a drawing of a howling gargoyle dripping body parts throughout it's huge jaws and from between it's widely spaced fangs and teeth of a human child it has just ripped to pieces that is ten million times uglier than Greta Van Susteren. So you clearly have a lot to learn about revolting horrors.
I have a really bad sore on my ass that I got from an infection i received when I was bitten by a kimodo dragon, one of those nine foot lizards that has saliva so infected that when it bites an animal the thiing dies three days later. I didn't die thanks to miraculous medical work by a team of geniuses but the left entire cheek of my ass looks like bleeding oatmeal made by a cook with pus instead of sweat that he dripped from his diseased face into the pot. And Greta Van Susteren looks worse than that.
There ARE no "good" photographs of Greta Van Susteren, just for the record, so I hope that you are not going to stay up all night waiting for someone to respond favorbaly with good news. Sincerely, Numulon Grakkil, Manager of the Galactic Library of Known Photographs.
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