Friday, December 13, 2013

Why Political Conspiracy Theories Only Come From The Right

   Right Wingers are convinced government is something God establishes. This means - to them - government has mystical supernatural aspects. The Left has no God oriented views about government. The know it's just people ordering other people around. It's secular. They know it's all about extracting stuff from group A to give to group B. It's about human bullying. They understand this and they like the idea. Meanwhile the right is convinced a deity is involved, usually Yahweh or Jesus. So when government isnt doing what they think government should be doing - whatever that is, since the Right is unsure what government's "job" is (unlike the Left who know government's job is to order people around) the Right, when things aren't operating government properly - which they think is a supernatural somethingorother - they have to come up with a suitably mystical or magical or Bigger Than Me reason. This always turns out to be an Adversarial Mystical Force. Namely a conspiracy among "secret people." Often the secret people are from space. When they are from earth they are involved in Black Magic. Since government is White Magic to them, only Black Magic can thwart it.
   The Left naturally scoffs at this. And since they are correct in doing so, the right has no way to fight this. Since they can never prove their position. they can't present a space person and they can't present a Black Magic Practitioner, ever. It's not complicated. Well it's not complicated to a Liberal. It's insanely frustrating to a Rightey, though. It eventually makes them completely bonkers. And they all end up arguing with each other over which conspiracy is the correct one. The Right is full of confused clowns  fighting the Left which is full of focused assholes. The Right cannot win.


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