Monday, April 8, 2013

Eulogy For Annette Posted On Facebook

If annette accomplished nothing else she enabled boys all over the Catholic world to shake off the contraints of the Church's warnings of the damning consequences of masturbation and inspired them to choose to shake off the dripping remnants of ejaculant from their novice and nimrod cocks instead. While not talented in the traditional methodologies of show business she was unique in having at least the ability to create boners even in homosexuals with her Italian good looks which jd charles no doubt has a problem with. The American Goddess of teenage semen production, she, along with her masturbationalinspirational counterpart, elvis pressly, she and elvis provided orgasms for men and women alike throughout the fifties to the teenagers who are now falling down on the sidewalks onto their own walkers, perhaps, but still jacking off to memories of annette. She couldnt act worth shit, she could barely carry a tune, her dancing was never a threat to shirley maclaine, and she never parlayed her uniqueness-based-on-looks-alone into a secure place in mafia empires as did jill st john, because, well, she was a bit slow on the uptake, and for which she will have to answer to God, but, fortunately our God is a loving and forgiving God. However if I had my way I'd be whispering in His ear, "You know she had that face and that body that you gave her and she never did nudity; i would call that a bit ungrateful and shortsighted." But I am not in that position, i am on my back, naked, and on the floor jacking off while looking at a picture of Annette. For it is only appropriate, i think, that in death she continue to give us what she gave us in life: boners, followed by semen eruptions from the end of our cocks. While no doubt as inert in her newly-acquired death mode as she was in her rather listless life mode, her magical ability to energize OTHERS, however, into highly dynamic rapid motion while screaming cries of utter delerium...this ability will forever secure for her the highest place in American History, Female Section, for while the crazed and insane women of today want to become men, Annette - by doing virtually nothing - proclaimed, just by existing in front of a camera, the eternal truth that all you REALLY need to be able to do is give men boners and semen squirts and all will be given to you by them and you wont have to do shit else. And when it comes to giving boners and jizz squirts, annette is without doubt the greatest woman in American history.


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