Cops

The only people that cops protect are each other. They rarely haul each other off to jail. They run to each other's defense, building a wall of protection around an endangered comrade so thick that if you do break through there's a good chance your car will blow up when you return to it from the battle you think you just won. You think they are protecting you. Look outside. You see any cops out there protecting you? No. They are all with each other, keeping each other in sight, and prepared to hurl to their rescue en masse should one of them call the police version of 911. The signs on the sides of their free cars ought to say "To Protect and Serve Ourselves." Because just saying "To Protect and Serve" suggests a totally wrong interpretation. You see you assume that it means to protect and serve YOU. That's because you are not observant. That's a completely unjustified and unwarranted assumption based on nothing. Like flying saucers. They are protecting and serving each other. Their every waking moment on the job is spent thinking about, talking about, being concerned about - other cops. They even go to cop bars after work. They create cop motorcycle clubs so they can spend OUTDOOR time with each other on their days off in an effort to appear rough and tough off the job like they appear on the job. But they are not rough and tough. In a brawl with fists and feet with a real biker club - the kind they are trying to imitate - they would be pulverized and stomped into pablum and flab all over the ground. But you see cops would never get into that kind of situation. Because they all carry pistols under their "Devil Blue Knight Wolves of Municipal New Centurians Hellraisers MC" jackets. And actual bikers are not allowed to do that. So nobody fucks with cop biker clubs. Which pretty much gives them an advantage over the competition if they decide to go into the dope and prostitution business. Fortunately for the dope and prostitution business cops are idiots and have about as much business sense as....well, cops. Also they are all very conflicted. On some level they all actually believe they are guardian angels of society, saving people from doing things cops don't approve of. And cops don't approve of law-breaking. Because as I mentioned earlier they are stupid. So it isn't likely cops will ever become underworld czars. Because they're too stupid. Naturally they think that people call cops stupid because people are trying to hurt their feelings. People are trying to inform them of their legendary problem. That's all, officers. But of course, well, cops are stupid and think it's all just name calling.
Oh, and in fairness to their bosses, it is not the job that makes them stupid. They are stupid to begin with. Because you have to BE stupid to WANT to be a cop. And cops' bosses know this. An honest (or smart in other words) person, man or woman, would never do what cops do. It would violate every fibre of conscience in his soul. The first time he dragged a stranger off to jail he would go home and blow his own brains out. But if you're STUPID: you can do this for 20 years with enthusiasm. Kind of like pushing Jews into a shower room. It's basically the same job, just with less Jews and the Jews live a little longer in a jail cell than in a poison gas cell.