Michael Jackson Dead

Michael jackson is dead. Reports that he was found hanging naked in his room from two ropes, one of which was around his neck, have not been confirmed. He will be canonized a saint tomorrow by the Catholic Church. "He was an inspiration to priests everywhere," Cardinal Mahoney Mahoni Majonie Majhonee, which translated means "name of many spellings," said. "He taught us that candy and dolls and computer games attract more little boys than threats of death and damnation. And for that we will always be grateful." Jackson will be buried with three dead 8 year old boys in Neverland Cemetary, which is under the house.