Jackson To Be Sent To Haiti For Zombification

In accordance with Michael Jackson's wishes, his noseless body will be shipped to Haiti, there to be resurrected according to Haitiian voodoo rites, after which Jackson will lead a troop of musical zombies in eternal performances in the hills and forests doing everlasting performances of "Thriller." Vincent Price's body will also be dug up and shipped to Haiti in accordance with Michael Jackson's last wishes. "I own him," Jackson was heard to say on many occasions, although never offering any explanation. "He always wanted to be a zombie," a relative said of Jackson. "Now it will be official." Asked if Michael will continue to spend a lot of time with male children, a spokesman said "A lot of time is right. All the time that's left. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" He then asked that his laughs be removed from the quote. That didn't happen, though.