The Mickey Mouse Club

As many of you millions of readers know, I used to be a Mouseketeer. Mouseketeer Jay-Jay. Yes, I know, that's gay. Yeah, well so is taking nigger cock up the ass, that's gay too, but nobody ever says squat to me about THAT. We'll return to my life as a raging flaming homosexual a bit later perhaps. Right now I would like to talk about the Mickey Mouse Club. Something I rarely do. There's a Mouseketeer who has a site that i never visit. I have a female cousin in Massachusets who told me that some woman was asking about me on that site, that the letter was sent in 2001. Naturally I zoomed to the site to find her and tell her that yes I would be happy to hump her right into the hospital. I mean, how much time do I have left? Who the fuck ELSE with a twat is looking for me? Nobody. So I'm scrolling through the archives of letters on this site and there's fucking TONS of them. TONS of emails that people have sent this Mouseketeer dude going on and on and on about the Mickey Mouse Club and how much it meant to them then and how much it means to them now and I'm going - all the while scrolling for this broad, ya understand - I'm goin' "Jesus Fucking Christ, how the fuck retarded are these mother fuckers, let it go fa crise sakes, get a fucking life, Jesus Christ, it's a tv show, the only ones who should be reminiscing about it should be the sponsors who made billions advertising on it 'cause every doofus in America was watching it." and I'm all sarcastic and talking to the computer screen, ya know? I mean I talking to the screen out loud, ya know? I mean, what you see here on this blog is what I actually am: a fucking mental patient. So I'm rattling on and on out loud to these people who have sent letters to this site, "Oh, it meant so much to me....Oh I remember this and how wonderful that....Oh i cannot tell you what that show meant....." and on and on and on and on and I mean, it was fucking relentless, ya know? Slowly a little bit of light starts to illuminate a fucking corner portion of the wet drippy dungeon of algae and Lovecraft menace of filth and debauchery and vile unholiness that is my mind and the light keeps getting a bit more bright and a bit more bright....and I finally go "Holy fucking crap. Now I get it. The Mickey Mouse Club was the last gasping moment and island of escape in American history that was WHITE!!!!" No fucking niggers all over the screen. No fucking Public Service Messages about unwanted pregnancies and what to do about them. No messages coming out of nowhere into your living room to stop smoking crack. No fucking messages from some moolie communist looter telling you he deserves what you have because he is a fucking Negro. No fucking Jesse fucking Jackson telling you that he's the voice of the American Nigger and that white people better bow down and pay damamges for oppression. No fucking Al Sharpton being "very concerned" that a white person dared to have a negative opinion about a negro. No fucking Negro College Fund racist-nagging about impossible scenarios about negroes wanting to ha ha ATTEND class and not burn down the building, which is a lot easier and more to their actual liking and talents. No fucking "film at eleven" of the latest black rampage involving fire and monkey-rage and ape-man flailing against stores and neighborhoods and private property like in fucking Swaziland. And no fucking Obama screaming at white America and saying God damn America and cutting the heads off babies emerging from the birth canal, and spitting on the flag, and declaring Islam the Voice of the People and the Will of Allah and oggling every faggot on earth and dreaming of having a mouthful of cocks 24 hours a day and dreaming faggot queerbait Caligula-dreams of jizz and power and a hatred of Christianity. Nope. There was none of that. Not even a speck of it. It was nowhere to be found. None of that stone-age screeching and voodoo nightmare of hell-on-earth and death-to-whitey to be found on that show anywhere, not even for one second, at all. There was just Ipana toothpaste. Which was also white. And which is also gone. And that's the secret of this unending, just-will-not-die nostalgia for that ridiculous, unwatchable show: it was fulll of white people. White kids having white, wholesome, creative, respect for private property, knowing right from wrong, optimistic and hopeful for a bright happy future, fun that was simply and plainly and happily WHITE. Now I know. The light finally went on. I would like to formally apologize to all Mickey Mouse Club fans who I have been sneeering at and berating all my life. Now I get it. Now I understand. Fuckin' finally. I hope you'll all cut me some slack for my stupidity. Sincerely, J.J. Solari... Mouseketeer Jay-Jay.