The Sacred Corn Dance of the Pueblo Indians

In Taos there is this "famous thing" called the Taos Pueblo. It is used a lot in shitty "southwest art" crap. It's usually just a portion of the "pueblo" that is depicted, showing a fucking primitive, cave-dweller-style ladder made of poles leaning against an adobe section of something wall-like off of which warm sunlight glows softly and serene. They are usually real evocative and mood-arousing paintings and photos. Sometimes the entire structure will be depicted, with colorfully dressed inhabitants from the year 1212 being all real "Indiany" in their fantastically excellent culture of mud and sticks. Seeing this Pueblo in real life, however, is not quite so pleasant. It's a fucking sewer of wreckage and trash and dust and rocks and crap and what looks to be a fantastic opportunity for incest in all its myriad and wonderful forms. Which I doubt, incidentally, the Indians actually commit. It would take too much energy; they would have to get aroused - and it would take too much planning; they would have to get up and move over to the person - and it would take too much time; time better spent sitting quietly and drinking beer and falling over and laying there and being unconcious for 12 hours. You also have to pay to get onto the "grounds." The drunken, depression-ravaged savage takes cash-only from your hand as you drive past him and looks at you like you are subhuman filth. You are the filth: you're in a new Lexus and he's in handmade rags and you're the filth. In fairness he does have his mitts literally crammed with cash, all of which is heading in his direction and coming from yours. The highlight of the Pueblo Indian Year is "the corn dance." The corn dance is "sacred." It is a holy thing. It is a dance designed to entice the corn god to pull his best tricks out of his magic hat to make the corn grow really good. Notice I said that the dance is intended to entice. Or persuade. However if I was the corn god I would be totally pissed at the bribe. It's the worst dance ever performed or choreographed by mankind in the history of life on earth. Nigger dances in Africa performed by tribal niggers for no other reason than to pass the time are a thousand times more complex and entertaining than the corn dance of the Pueblo Indians which is designed to ensure the very survival of the clan via the sole crop harvest of the year. You would think they would put a little more thought and care into a dance so important. But they don't. It is a dance rreated and performed by lazy, dull, listless, indifferent slugs. It has no steps to speak of. It all takes place "in place." Nobody hardly moves. High school cheerleaders routinely do performances that are smoking hot nuclear explosions of dynamic energy so that a meaningless football game will go one direction or the other: NOT FOR THE ENSURING OF THE VERY SURVIVAL OF THE GROUP! JUST FOR THE OUTCOME OF A FUCKING FOOTBALL GAME!!! You think the corn dancers have noticed this? This gaping disparity between their "dance for existence" and the commonplace, everyday cheering routines of a million high-schools? Well, they haven't. The Pueblo Indians haven't noticed anything for a million years. And they especially haven't noticed that their corn dance stinks to high heaven. Good luck with that corn crop, fuckers. I have not even mentioned the tune and the vocal that accompanies the corn dance; I'm afraid the corn god might get mad at ME as it is for reminding him of what he has to put up with every year. So I am leaving it at the dancing part and not mentioning the "music." Which i assure you is even worse than the dancing. Oh, and did I meantion?....you are forbidden to photograph the corn dance. It is too sacred. It is too holy. I don't know where these redskins are getting THAT. 'Cause it's a fucking embarassing mess of indifference. I ain't even the corn god or even believe he exists and I'm pissed off at the corn dance and feel outraged that these idiots would present to the corn god such a foul piece of lazy, low-level, D-minus quality, poorly executed, worthless worship.