More On Catholic Crimes

I have just noticed that today is December 8. Yesterday was Pearl Harbor Attack You Die Yankee Dog Day and today is "The Feast of the Immaculate Conception." Or in other words, in the Lingo of Catholicism, today is "a holy day of obligation." What you are obligated to do because Jesus' mom was conceived pure, like Adam and Eve were, what you now need to do because of this is go to "Mass." and be "cognitively present" at the "three principle parts" of the service or else commit a "mortal sin" which damns you to hell, unless you do some other stuff to get that jail sentence removed. You also have to go again either next Saturday or Sunday too, that once-a-week thing ain't taken off your schedule just because there's a holy day of obligation today Tuesday, fucker. You gotta go TWICE this week, or, heh heh, see you in hell, amigo. Interestingly, you also go to hell for cold blooded premeditated murder. Same hell, same length of time, two really different offences. Tough religion. Hey, tough religions breed tough people. Or insane ones. Kind of depends how tough the religion is I guess. And for my money Catholicism has no peers for sheer brutality of spirit. If you make it through the Catholic gauntlet you have EARNED heaven mother fucker!!! YEAH!!! FUCKIN A!!! YOU ARE IN THE BIG ROOM WITH GOD ALMIGHTY DUDE!!! YOU WORKED YOUR WAY IN!!!SCREW THAT FUCKIN JEW BASTARD JESUS AND HIS BIG FUCKIN' DEAL REDEMPTION EXECUTION DEATH SUFFERING SHIT!!! YOU DID IT ALL, YOU GO BABY, YOU MADE JESUS LOOK LIKE A FUCKIN ROOKIE AT PAIN AND SUFFERING! WHO THE FUCK IS THAT FUCKER TRYIN'TA STEAL YER THUNDER, FUCK THAT JEW!!! YEAH!! BEERS ALL AROUND! You da MAN!!!