How To Identify Blather

Identifying blather takes practice. Blather disguises itself as communication. Blather is usually deceit diguised as advise. Usually advice for you to do without something. Blather always comes from thieves. The most dangerous kind to YOU is government blather. Here's an example. This is the dedication in the government approved main, central, basic, generalized tourist book/magazine about Carlsbad Caverns. For all I know the books for every National Park probably all have the same dedication. It's pretty non-site-specific. It's two sentences long and is a fine example of sheer blather. "This book is dedicated to all who find Nature not an adversary to conquer and destroy, but a storehouse of infinite knowledge and experience linking man to all things past and present. They know conserving the natural environment is essential to our well-being." The previous two sentences are blather. SENTENCE ONE:..... "This book is dedicated to all who find Nature not an adversary...." Feeling defensive? Hopefully you are not one of those people who find Nature an adversary. Hopefully you find Nature as a pal. Even in a hurricane or tornado or volcano or a flood or a fire or a plague or a drought or during a period of starvation or a period of thirst or frost or bugs or wild dogs or when you cut your hand off or when you get kicked in the balls or when you get sick or when you die. Remember, do not consider Nature an adversary otherwise this book dedication is not for you. And how will you live through that. You want to be included, don't you? You want to be included in the dedication don't you???? You don't want to be left out do you???? On the other hand, let me ask you, even if you DO consider Nature an adversary: so what. Who are you hurting. Certainly not Nature. Nature is going to dissolve your bones someday. Asshole. Nature has a pretty good lock on this game she got you born into. You ain't gonna defeat her. She is gonna clean the floor with your ass. She is gonna do her laundry with your fly-encrusted blood. No matter what your attitude toward Nature is. You are on Nature's One Way Highway To Death. So what's with all the "no hard feelings" shit??? FUCK Nature. "...to conquer and destroy..." Humans, the monkey-people, cannot conquer and or destroy Nature. And who would want to even make that effort. Humans can CONTROL Nature, maybe. If they try. At least some can. The smart ones. You are supposed to think that that is wrong too. Because the Park System has a stake in you not advancing beyond the mental capacity of a fucking swamp pig: you might not come to their fucking diety-intense cave anymore. ".....but a storehouse of infinite knowlege...." Nature has no "knowledge." Nature knows nothing. Nature is insensate. Only Pantheists and savages think Nature "knows" things. ".....and experience...." Nature has no experiences. Nature has never experienced anything. Maybe what they mean is you can learn things from STUDYING Nature. Maybe YOU can GAIN experience via Nature. But it's not likely that that's what they "mean." What is more likely that they "mean" is that Nature can TEACH you things. Like mom did! That Nature will be your mentor and instructor and you won't have to actually think or observe or hypothesize or conduct experiments or come to conclusions, maybe some of them infuriating to government park-officials who all think they are brilliant guardians of your gentle tender cranial soft spot. Nature will do it all FOR you. Nature will infuse her "knowledge and experience" into your thick skull and down to your pablum baby-brain. Don't bet on it, pal. Don't wait for THAT to happen, Nature ain't that fucking benevolent and charitable and doesnt REALLY care if you learn anything or not or live or fucking DIE. Nature doesn't even know you're here, fucker and is going to kill you without even getting your name and address. You're just gonna be fuckin' gone. No hello, no goodbye from Mother Nature. So what the fuck are you so concerned about NATURE for??? What the hell is WRONG with you??? "...linking man to all things past and present." They are saying "man" but they are talking to you in particular. Do you feel linked to all things past and present? No, I didn't think so. Do you have any idea what they're talking about? No, I didn't think so. Can you make any sense out of that at all? No, I didn't think so. Are you understanding what blather is? SENTENCE TWO: "They know that conserving the environment is essential to our future well-being." "They" here, is not you. Or is it? Are you one of the people referred to in the first sentence? The second sentence hints that perhaps you are not. That you have not yet hopped on board. Is that true? Are you holding back? Are you being standoffish regarding Nature, my little white Anglo-Saxon Navajo of tomorrow? Are you going to be a party pooper? Oh dear; then you COULD be a hindrance to our future well-being. You fucking PRICK. Are you feeling a little guilty? Even though all you did was to read some government-sponsored blather that makes absolutely no sense in any manner under any interpretation of English from any generation? And yet you feel strangely defensive. Instead of yelling FUCK YOU to those two sentences and throwing the book/magazine back down onto the counter for being insulting to you even though you are the FUCKIING CUSTOMER THE GOVERNMENT IS TRYING TO SELL THE FUCKING PAMPHLET TO, you are going to just try and clear your head and either buy the thing, or not, for some other reason, once you think of one. Maybe Nature will infuse a reason into your head as is her custom. However, on the plus side, consider that the blather the government has just poured over your noggin and dripped down your face as valuable if for no other reason that it was used in this lecture. Maybe now you will be on the lookout for people trying to fuck with you. Because they are. You have no idea. AND you probably don't care. Because that would take energy. And create anger. And anger is bad. Just ask anyone. Anger is something that needs "managing." We cannot have anger. Anger is the enemy of blather. Anger is unhappiness, And as Yoda said anger brings SUH-FUH-RING. Yeah; suffering to the people that are fuckin' with ya. So be happy. No matter what. Put a rubber nose on your face. And we'll see you in the caves, clown.