Best Object

You probably never knew that there actually WAS a best object, did you. And if you did know, you pro'bly thought it was your cock. But actually it's the "Clansman" stalagmite in Carlsbad Caverns. Now, I haven't actually seen it personally. And I know what you're thinking: "You just like it because it's called the clansman." A fair assumption. But incorrect. I don't really like it at all. It's just too damn scary. But that changes nothing. It's still the best object. I know what you're saying: "What do you mean, 'best' object. By 'best' I mean most bitchin'. I know what you're saying: 'What determines 'bitchin''-ness." And because I know you're saying that I also know that you need to blow your brains out. Because you are too stupid to exist. You are like an ugly Tom Cruise. At least he is photogenic and can take direction. You have just the stupidity. May I talk to the others now? You may leave. I do not have a picture here of the Clansman to show you because this site is not that "customer friendly." Because it has no customers. I think you will agree my logic is impeccable. However if you Google "clansman stalagmite" there are some poor photos of it on some of the bureaucrat cave-sites and some site called "best" somethingorother. And the Clansman is the "best stalagmite" in their view. In my view it's the "best anything." Well, anything not alive. It's the best object. I'd go on in more detail WHY it is the best object, but there's no one else here, Except me. And I already know. So who cares. Fuck you.