The Pope Will Explain Reality To You

   This latest Pope, the one with the chin you could land jets on, he fancies himself quite the thinker. In fact his thinking is so accurate and precise and so aligned with reality that Marxists and atheists and collectivists and socialists and yes, even Muslims, Muslims themselves, have come to gather at his feet in praise and thanksgiving that the Catholics at last have a Pope every bit as dimwitted as they are themselves.
   He has won an especially even more wondrous and sublime and cherished position in the hearts of the destructors of Mankind and the rational processes by declaring that humans can actually change the weather. There have to be enough of them, of course. One human cannot do this on his own, he has to have help.
   Of perplexing vexation to those of us who would like to prevent these people from altering the weather is that no one can point to anyone in particular responsible nor can they explain what in particular he is doing that is creating the change in particular that is being talked about. It's all very vague at this point but no one - in this camp - has any doubt that they are making-chase in the right direction and that it is only a matter of time before the exactitudes of all this are codified and articulated.
   And now leading the chase at the head of this barking and howling pack of fox hounds is Pope Francis. Yes, a man who is convinced that he, even if he were to have just fucked a little boy in the ass, can install Jesus of Nazareth, body and soul and blood and flesh into a wafer of bread-dough simply by uttering a certain sequence of words and as a result can get obedience from God Himself to fly headfirst into the cup of small wavers and redistribute himself, like a massive Coca-Cola delivery into America's Wal-Marts, into these disks of glutenous goodness, there to be devoured like the leg of an eland down the gullet of a hyena, and slide down the throats of millions of properly-prepared devotees, later to be excreted into the toilet and sent down through the sewer systems and out into the sea, to be again devoured by properly instructed and dutifully sanctified plankton.
   It's all really quite beautiful.
   So it is not at all surprising, or at least shouldn't be, that a man who can order the Creator of the Universe into a wafer of Wonder Bread can certainly ascertain and divulge the vississitudes and vagaries of meteorology. Earth science would be nothing at all mysterious or confusing to a man who can dip into and out of the quantum world of the supernatural and change the structure of matter from insensate carbohydrates into the flesh and blood and muscle and sinew of the Divinity Itself.
   So, anyway, this guy says that humans are changing the weather. Humans are causing the earth to "warm." Why a warm earth would be bad since you can fuck a lot more often in a warm environment than you can in a cold one, creating more Catholics for the Pope to teach the mysteries of transubstantiation to....is a mystery to me. But Catholics thrive on mysteries so if one reads this previous sentence he will doubtless welcome me into the fold after a proper period of instruction into some of the other mind-shredding truths of the faith.
   He has not stopped at declaring the hidden truth of weather and declaring the mighty powers of mankind over it, no, he has made a pronouncement or two about private property also, taking the 7th and 10th Commandments and tossing them into the sea. Which is rising, you may remember, thus sinking these two Commandments deeper each day. Which cannot fail to provide the Frankster with an added bit of delight, over and above the tossing.
   Yes, he has declared that your stuff belongs to people who don't have it, and that you even having the stuff has caused the people who don't have the stuff to not have the stuff. No one said this was understandable.  They are only saying it is insightful and wise and the truth. Oh, not me, I am not saying this. Everyone else is. I'm just the messenger.