Monday, January 7, 2013

Texas And The Alamo

   I went to the Alamo a couple weeks ago. Why this is a national treasure, I have no idea. Did the people who died at the Alamo take a good look at the terrain they were claiming as their own and for which they were giving their lives? There's reasons to fight Mexicans but the right to claim Texas as your own is not one of them. You might as well fight for the right to claim malaria as your own. Not that there is any malaria in Texas. Nothing can live there, not even bugs. The people at the Alamo should have said "You want Texas? dumbass Mexicans?.....take it. See how long your burros stay here.  They'll blow their brains out from depression." Texas would make a Muslim that just killed his own family while laughing break down into tears of sadness, just from looking around.
   And yet the Alamo is a national monument to something we are all supposed to really admire.
   What the fuck were all those people doing there in the first place. What was going on in Davy Crocket and Jim Bowie's heads: "Hey, Davy; let's leave these forests of Tennessee where the 15 year old nubile nigger chicks are plentiful and all have puffy labias and have a hankering for white cock for some reason, and let's go die fighting 5,000 drunken Mexicans in a dust-forsaken moonscape devoid of water and let's do it for no good reason!" "Jimmy? have got your thinking cap on today, I am already saddled and ready to go!"
   I can see why these two are not famous for writing algebra books.
   You're not allowed to take pictures inside the Alamo because it violates the souls of those who died there.  It's like you are visiting a voodoo church in Haiti when you go there. I don't think you are even allowed to talk in there. You can take pictures inside Dacchau for christ sakes and that's gotta be more haunted and filled with sacred souls than the Alamo. It's better constucted too, there is no Texas Limestone anywhere. Yeah, limestone, favorite building block of the Egyptians and the Texans, except the Egyptians had some designer and art skills, and were a lot less lazy, stacking the blocks, as they did, higher than two floors, and also making them a lot bigger than loaves of bread.
   My understanding of the ruckus is that an American general could not be bothered going to the rescue of the Americans under attack. Why this then is a monument dedicated to brave fortitude against Mexicans rather than a monument to Americans saying "Fuck this America crap, let's become Mexicans" I have no idea. Why Sam Houston wasn't shot for treason I don't know. I don't know what was so important going on that a general in the US Army "could not spare his troops" to fight an attacking army. Were the Canadians attacking from the North? Were the Persians attacking from the Pacific? What was more important than an enemy army advancing upon the nation? Maybe he was blowing whoever was President at the time and could not be interrupted. A blowjob is the usual explanation for all political activities, good or bad. He must have been some general. "Sir, an attack from Mexico is underway two blocks yonder!" "Ah: that is unfortunate; I am engaged with the Abyssinian army at the moment. And I hear the Germans and the Russians are preparing to attack also. I cannot spare my men to fight the Mexicans. Do what you can, I will defend your rear by ordering a retreat from Texas." "Yes sir. God bless you sir."
   Is Houston a French name? That might explain things.


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