Monday, November 5, 2012

Disney Buys Lucas Episode 16 - Griffith Park, The Dark Side

    The long-standing rumor in Los Angeles is that Griffith Park is haunted. Actually, it's hollow.
    The slowly changing "sky" that was the big advertising clarion of Caesar's Palace was designed in the vast, almost unholy emptyness filled with structures that is the emotion-shredding vastness of the...well, literally... the "under" world of subterranean Griffith Park. The Caesar's Palace version, to compare it to the version playing where it was is the same as saying that the Paris Hotel in Vegas is the same thing as "France." The Caesar's Palace version is pretty pale in other words. And pretty small.
   The surface of Griffith Park - at night at least - actually is haunted: with Underworld employees, I assume,  fucking with the heads of the curious. At least I am assuming it is all choreographed and planned and intentional and has humans orchestrating it.
   Griffith Park also has a huge homosexual night time - and daytime too, sure - population of faggots getting their dicks sucked by other faggots, and assfucking each other and slitting each other's throats and autoerotically strangling each other and soaking in sweat and writhing in endless ejaculations of diseased jizz coming from their ever-horny and desperate-to-cum cocks which is basically the 24 hour a day preoccupation of teen and young adult homeless faggots exploring their wondrous balls' capacities for thrills. This eternal daytime horde of never ending gushings of groinal filth discourages detective work by any police departments. Because Griffith Park is calculatingly off-putting. So no one normal ever spends much time in there. So it's always pretty fucking off limits and never looked at.
   The Los Angeles side of the hill-assembly that is Griffith Park is a large community of well-to-do home owners that has been thriving in quiet luxury since the 20's. On the Los Feliz side you can drive up to the observatory and there is a piece of property that Frank Lloyd Wright designed a cool house on in a public garden and there is another FLW house on the ritzy slopes of the South face called Ennis House that is probably the coolest thing in California. At least of all the things that are in the tourist books and that anyone has ever heard of.
   Yes, the South face is is a-flourish with lights and living and cars and homes and neighborhood crap that runs-off into Hollywood farther below and the vast megalopolis of the solar system that is Los Angeles and parts south.
   The Disney side, or Burbank side, on the other hand, is an ebony drenched, onyx-injected, dark, bleak-of-sanity, dense-with-unrest,  terrifying, large black block of carbon-coated fear.
   No lights illuminate the Disney-side of Griffith Park. It is dark there always after sunset. It has always been this way. In 2012, in the 21st Century it is this way. It was likely that way in 20 million BC. And it is that way now. The story is that Walt Disney would stand in his studio property and look up at that looming wall of pitch black despair and envisioned Fantasia from seeing Chernobog in his mind atop the vision-dominating crest of the hell-pile that is the Griffith Park "range."
   The uneasiness of the atmosphere seeps along the ground like an invisible corrosive fluid. The complexes of rises-and-fallings of hillsides and gullies and trails and barely penetrable plant versions of psychobabble and unmanaged overgrowth seep a liquid-thick foreboding from straight out of the pores of the wild, center-of-the-city terrain of alien darkness that is Griffith Park at night. And, whatdafuck, in the daytime too. Hey, don't take my word for it, the North and East side of Griffith Park is a big place, the admission is free, and access is available for miles of unlit unfenced easy entry; go there yourself alone, Mr Science and Philosophy and knower of all things. Tell me how you liked it. Tell me if I am wrong. Take your fucking samurai sword or whatever the fuck you think you need and walk into that light-sucking blackness alone and when you reach the point that you are too terrified to take any more steps forward, tap tap tap until you find yourself a nice invisible large rock to sit on and sit there quietly until dawn. The chances are it will be the last dawn you ever see from the outside of an insane asylum, Sparky. You fucking asshole. I don't even know who the fuck you are and you're annoying the blooding worm-filled turds right outa me.
   I gotta quit thinkin' about you. I'll go nuts if I don't.
   The "curse" of Griffith Park is part of Los Angeles history. I don't know the details but it's a Goggleable item, it's easy enough to verify, you can check out the particulars.
   I doubt if anyone actually believes the curse but one of the aspects of it is a "threat" that if Los Angeles ever turns the.....I can't think of a better thing to call it than the dark side: sorry..... the "threat" is that if development occurs in the dark side, or, in other words, the perpetually unlit vast unilluminated portion, or the Valley side, some awful thing will happen to city hall or Los Angeles or California or the fuckin' Sun, i dunno.
   The details in the curse of what constitutes "development" must be unclear because there is a train museum there that nobody visits and a zoo. A golf course runs up against the east side of the dark side. It's gotta be the most fucked shittiest up golf course known to man. I don't golf and dont give a shit about golf but the Griffith Park golf course is an ugly joke. There is also "the old zoo." When they built the new zoo they left the old zoo. You can explore the bear caves and animal caverns. It gives new meaning to daylight creepyness. I wouln't go there at night with a division of SEALS with me, frankly.
   And, so, that is what is on the Disney Side of the above ground piece of real estate known as Griffith Park.
   The below ground real estate of Griffith Park is a whole different story. And by different I mean Disneyland on quantum-mechanical steroids mixed with acid. The kind of acid that eats your thoughts. Not the kind of acid that eats your aluminum siding.



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