David Letterman Eyes New Sex-Joke Target

This six year old girl won the "womens' division" in a halibut-catching contest in Alaska, catching a 140 pound whopper. David Letterman and his writers are already hard at work preparing a monologue filled with sexual references directed at the tot. "That business with Sarah Palin's kid fucked up my whole life in the aftermath," Dave told reporters, "but this little slattern doesn't have the governor of a fucking State as a mom. Her family is probably lucky to have that fish to eat, and they will probably have to stretch the meals out for a fucking year. So I see no hassle with a battery of lawyers or a shitload of headaches from public opinion with this rancid little trollop." Asked how the monologue was going so far Letterman said, "I can't really spill the beans just yet, but the first joke will have to do with Phil Spector sticking a pistol in her mouth. Ohhhh-ho-ho, MAN, that's gonna be funny."