Madonna Adopting Obama Girls Update

Madonna today displayed a copy of When Bikers Meet Humans for the press, stating that this would be the only book she would require the Obama girls to read, once Madonna was their mother. Madonna was asked if that was really enough for anyone to read. Madonna said it didn't matter, it would still be one more book than their real parents would have required of them, the two of them being barely off the savannah, and still sleeping outside at night and dancing around a fire at dawn and dusk. The press reminded Madonna that the Obamas considered their African roots to be "more important" than Western Culture, with its machines and science and "modern" medicine. "Lizard legs and vulture feathers have always kept us healthy so far," as Barak Obama has often said, Madonna was reminded. "The Obama girls' necks are already ten times longer than the rest of their bodies," Madonna said angrily. "They both have plates in their lips the size of truck rims. It's fucking ridiculous." Madonna said she will appeal the Obama's refusal to allow her custody of their two daughters. When asked to whom she would appeal such a thing Madonna relpied "I'll find some Haitian witch doctor zombie-master to tell those two stone age voodoo assholes in the White House that 'Malaka commands' or some damn thing. They're both idiots. I'm Madonna. Have a fucking clue who's gonna win this," and with that she was escorted into her limo and driven off.