The Umbrella Weird Thing

Here's something interesting. "Oh, well, it's about time, asshole." Hey, thanks. I was walking along the sidewalk and it had stopped raining. But it was windy and cold. I did not have a lot on and my head was freezing. "So where's the harm there?" Ok, thank you. So i put the umbrella in front of me. It did not block the wind. I then laid it on my shoulder so that it was backwards and near my head. There was no wind. Total windlessness around my face and head. Like a cone of silence. Only a cone of windlence. I don't know why. But it works. "Hey, fuck you." Thank you.