Rush Limbaugh

First the good thing about Rush Limbaugh: he is the best off-the-cuff orator, probably, on earth. If you are "on his side" already at the start of one of his majestic paens to America, by the time he is done you will have real tears in your eyes, and if you are driving at the time you MAY have an accident due to the length of time your hands are off the wheel and are, instead, applauding euphorically. Now the bad part. He is an intellectual reetard. He's pinioned underneath the "Conservative" anchor, which weighs even more than he does. And Conservatism is somethings even Conservatives can't define. I will however define it for them, and for you. Conservatism is Limited Socialism. That's really all it is. And yet Conservatives spend 100% of their talk-time railing against Socialism. But it's ok in small doses. As I am sure Rush Limbaugh - who since the Viagara Incident I call Rush Limpdick - will admit to believing. We need government for A FEW THINGS. According to the drug addict who thinks drug addicts should be jailed. He is also EXTREMELY creepy. When he talks about women. It's hard to DEFINE a creep, it's something you sense from them when they begin to invisibly slither. It's clear he considers himself quite the lothario. But take a look at him. Can you, even with the imagination of H.R. Giger, imagine Rush Limbaugh licking a pussy? A lothario pretty much has to do that, according to my dictionary of humping. I cannot for the life of me imagine Rush Limbaugh doing such a thing. Bill Clinton?.....OH yeah. I can picture that REAL easy. But not Rush. I can picture him eating a donut. But not a pussy. Also....the football thing. If you can't throw a football you shouldn't be giving on-air coaching opinions. It makes you look like you are trying to be "masculine." He's an advocate of free enterprise except for what the government defines as "illegal drugs." Then he's all Third Reich. There will be no heroin in Rush's Universe, and none in yours either, if Rush has anything to say about it. Also no porn in Rush's world except for his creepy references to womens' body parts, which when he coyly makes these references your skin not only crawls, it moves up and down your bones like herds of recruits in basic training under the Live Fire drill. Your skin crawls like an eel laboratory during a simultaneous-live-birthing experiment in an empty swimming pool filled with pregnant females. Your skin almost crawls OFF. It's that creepy. He refuses to abandon the Republican Party and start touting the Libertarian Party, which, while MINIMUMLY socialist is still a lot less socialist than the
Republicans. It's like he cannot even get his head around any aspect of the Libertarian "platform." Sure, it's a befuddled one, but if the Republicans are The Frantically-Stampeding Lost the Libertarians are at least the Pensively-Meandering Lost. Which in itself is a giant step up in sanity. It's as though the Libertarians are in a room that Rush Libaugh is either too FAT to get in or he is just not near intelligent enough to even have a clue what to make of them. If he would just BECOME a Libertarian and just soak in the tub for a while he might eventually absorb it through his flesh: let it mix and slide around with the fat molecules, maybe some of it would adhere. But I don't see this happening. He has a cult mentality. "Conservatism" is his religion. He cannot break free. I don't see it ever happening. He'll die a Conservative. Probably by then the only Conservative with at least SOME idea of what a Conservative is. Or was, I should say.