Wind Chill Factor

Every time I hear someone mention the wind chill factor i want to beat them to fucking death with a Polonium crowbar; I not only want them to die, I want to accellerate the rotting process. This fucking wind chill factor shit is some newsman's most brilliant idea since his idea of pissing into his nose and making his shit go back up his ass and blowing his snotclogs into his shoes. Sure, that was good but then he figured out how to make the news even more miserable, and that was a true accomplishment. He's taken the News Philosophy of "maximum grimness all the time" over to the Weather Segment. If they figure out a way to make sports reporting depressing and ominous i will be weaned from the news altogether. I hope it's soon. Fucking wind chill factor. I don't know who came up with that fucking bullshit but they deserve a fucking medal from the PT Barnum foundation. Every bonehead on earth now parrots it. No wonder the Muslims hate us. We're even dumber than they are. They want to be Number One in stupidity and we are kicking their asses. No wonder they are targeting our children: trying to stop the stupidity in its tracks. I admire that. We should have done that to them on Sept. 12th: eradicated them at the womb level. Fucking wind chill factor. Hey, why not the fart-cooling factor, assholes??? "Temps were down to 3 below zero last night and that means farts hit the atmosphere 17 degrees cooler than when they left your asscheeks, and for every one degree drop in temperature from ninety-eight point six there is a Fartage Smell Factor reduction of 5% of the original stench intensity. Certainly good news to those waiting for busses in the snow after a burrito-and-coffee breakfast." Fucking wind chill factor. If it's 20 below, and there's a 300 fucking mile an hour wind, the side of the barn is STILL gonna be at 20 below. THAT'S THE FUCKING TEMPERATURE! 20 BELOW! "Oh, well, yeah, but, well, ya know, if you, ya know, yer in da wind, den it's, ya know, a lot colder. Dat is if yer a human. And if yer outside in it. And it's all wiindy and stuff." No, asshole, it isn't. It's still 20 below. No amount of wind is going to lower the fucking temperature just based on the fact that there's some fucking WIND flyin' around. The only thing that's going to lower the temperature is a lower fucking TEMPERATURE!! Not wind speed. If it's 20 below and you're standing in it and there's a hundred MPH wind, when you fucking DIE and they come and STICK A THERMOMETER UP YOUR DEAD STUPID ASS your ass is gonna be at 20 below zero. Regardless of the wind speed. "Oh, yeah, well, here's the deal on that, you see, if it's 20 below and you are out in it and there's a wind blowing then as far as your body is concerned it FEELS like its colder and we know the way to figure that." Fuck you. You ain't figurin' nuthin'. Temperature ain't "recalibrated" to the "comfort level" of some asshole standing out in a freezing fucking windstorm. Only fucking self-centered newspeople calibrate things that way. And idiot viewers who think newspeople are even people. They are not. News people are not people. They are insects that live in squash algae and who absorb nutrients directly from the dirt. That's what news people are. They are not "real" people. They are total freaks of nature. And they are convinced that temperature CHANGES, or creates a fucking FACTOR of some kind, due to the speed of the wind. Just like Creationists believe that God is as fucking stupid as they are and so does things THEIR way. So Creationists and news people are pretty much related in the monkey kingdom the Creationists insist they are not members of. In reality the only thing that changes due to the speed of the wind is the windspeed. And maybe the location of your trailer and beach umbrella. The TEMPERATURE, however never budges from wiind speed. Wind speed can never push the temperature around like it apparently does your brain. And there is no FACTORING involved in LOOKING AT A THERMOMETER either. Or in other words YOU are IRRELEVANT to the TEMPERATURE. And probably to everything else, if you say things like "wind chill factor." "Oh, well, you're an idiot because the wind chill factor tells you if it's cold out, how much colder you will FEEL if it's windy so that if you dress for 22 degrees and the wind chill factor is 0 degrees then you wear more clothes." Oh, I see, so if it's 33 degrees, and water freezes at 32 degrees, and there's a hundred mile an hour wind bringing the wind chill factor down to zero degrees and i put a drop of water on your nose it will freeze then, right? "Ummmmm YEAH! Ummmmm I mean, it will FEEL like it's frozen." Oh: so then the weather is all about you. "Ummm, pretty much yeah."