letter to trump

Dear Donald Trump,

     Ya know, there's something you gut that the other Republican-Candidacy, tedium-breeding losers don't even realize you've got, and if they did realize it they would be kissing your ass a lot harder than they are now: and you know what that is?..... it's the fact that you have the Negro Vote all tied up. Ya know why? 'Cause Negroes think you're cool. And you know why they think you're cool?....for the same reason the press and the Republican National Committee can't stand you; because you strut; you brag about your wealth; you are surrounded by hot chicks all the time; you preen; you wear camelhair overcoats; you strut; you swagger;  you tell people what you think about them to their face; you boast about your own coolness...and you don't give a shit what blacks, or anyone else, think about you unless they are your customers. Your customers?....these people you give a shit about. Your critics?....unless it's a complaint about fleas in the room, fuck 'em.

     Negroes like shit like this.

     In other words, you don't have to kiss the Negroes' asses or curry their favor; they already think you are cool. You think the American Negro thinks Jeb Fucking Bush is cool? Or Rick Fucking Perry? Or any of them other dreary, pandering piles of Pasty-assed white boys up there on the podium?

     Let me tell ya somehin', you and that commie shithead Obama are the only two people in politics in America that the Blacks actually like. Because you can both talk "to the common man." Obama can do it because he's a fucking Marxist and thinks the common man is some sort of fucking supergenius, so he talks to parasites on a one-to-one basis 'cause he's one himself. You can talk to the "common man" because you're just plain fucking normal. A fucking normal man should be able to talk to a delirious bum on a bench with the same language and ease as he would talk to the Queen of fucking England. It's called "being real."  It's called showing the same face to everyone on earth. It's knowing that we all eventually have to go into the bathroom and squirt shit out our ass, just like rats do, so no one other than goddamn Jesus is actually special.

     Negroes know you are.....and I almost hate to say this, but I'm gonna say it....they instinctively know "you iz da Massa on dis plantation, Boss."  And that's all I'm gonna say. They know you is the Mastah. And they are very comfortable with it. They do not have a problem with it at all. The other Republicans candidates?....The Blacks can't stand their lily-white condescending asses. You might needs ta bring this to the Republicans' and the Conservatives' attention; that you have this Black-Vote Thing all wrapped up. And that they never will on their own.

    This - what you have -  is called "leadership." Leadership leads all people: black; white; green; red; brown.....that's why it's called leadership. And you have it. You de Mang. And everyone knows it. You might need to remind the Right Wing, tight-sphinctered, fear-of-the-Darkies Republicans, and everyone else, that you have the Black vote all wrapped up.

     By the way; I can talk like this; I can tap dance better than they can. And they will admit it. I know my Negroes. On the tapdance floor I am like a fucking rhythmic archangel to the bruthuz.  

     Thank you. And God bless you.

Sincerely, 

J.J. Solari