The Gay Dead Idiot: Ambassador Stevens

   This is how some deranged reporter or government worker named Norga Tarnopolsky describes Chris Stevens, the dead idiot:

"I met Chris Stevens sometime in the second half of the 90s, when he was stationed in Jerusalem.

From the get-go, it was clear that Chris was the American Graham Greene had always hoped to stumble across: lanky, blond and surprisingly handsome, a Californian by birth and temperament, easygoing, deeply shy, and intensely attuned, smart, smart, smart. He was always genial, and always veiled. His introspective being lodged a steel-trap mind.

It feels so futile to say it now, but Chris really was that American you always hope exists somewhere: Alert. Knowledgeable. Deeply invested. Winsome."

   Winsome. This reads like a gay love letter to Johnny Weir written by Richard Simmons. Astoundingly, Conservatives are very upset that this fellow was killed by Muslims. He is off the taxpayer dole and there is nothing wrong with that. Even the Muslims do us a favor once in a while just via the law of averages.

   Steel trap mind, ey? Smart smart smart, ey? This asshole was actually working with the people who killed him before they killed him. You see, he thought in his smart smart smart steel trap mind that there are good Muslims and bad Muslims. He didn't know, smart though he was and despite the steel trap mind that he had had had, despite all this brain power he didn't know that ALL Muslims are putrid worthless motherfuckers that need to be nuked so that even their dust will be too dangerous to get near or have anything to do with.

   Well, he knows it now. But the press and the Feds and the Democrats and the Republicans and the Conservatives don't know it.