Saturday, September 8, 2012

Rock Version of World's Worst Song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c8C7i9kdEf8&feature=youtube_gdata_player

   I once told some piece of shit prick wife beating, offspring tormenting fuckhead who was one of those patriotic people who is an embarassment to patriotism - ya know,  like Christians who order you around and if you don't do what they tell you they order you into Hell are an embarrassment to Christianity?.... I told this guy that the National Anthem sucked. Well, he came unglued and the unglued pieces started bursting into flame. Fair to say he would often have the same reaction if a cat walked across his lawn, so I didn't take it personal.
   I sent the above video to a VERY patriotic woman I know and with the greatest reluctance she said she was able to tolerate it because it showed inspiring stuff and didnt "fuck with the song too much." I said "It didn't bother you that two chords were relentlessly done incorrectly and I don't think it was on purpose?" She said "ummmmm....Huh?....."
  It's also embarrassingly overacted.
   HOWEVER
   it is a step in the right direction toward making the The Star Spangled Banner listenable. It puts some life into what is probably the most listless and dreary song ever created.
   Igor Stravinsky once wrote a version of it, tweaking the chords and imparting some emotional undercurrents to it and was chided and pilloried by the same ilk that still today think "you should not tamper with the National Anthem." These people HAVE to be tone deaf and rhythmical abysses of musical emptyness. The National Anthem cries out to be fucked with. "Please fuck with me!!" cries the National Anthem. Can you hear it? Try listening closer.Here, lean down, put your ear by my cock, let me jizz into it. Now can you hear it? Yes, that's the National Anthem crying out "Please fuck with me," my jizz in your ear has done you a world of good!
    Hopefully this incursion by whoever this overblown band is into The Forbidden Zone will free-up the rest of the musical community to do even better versions - which will not be too difficult - than this one and turn that dreary stale wad of dried tapioca-splatter on the floor into a soaring eagle of a tune.

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