Friday, February 5, 2010

The Toilets In Cambria

Cambria California has a water-usage policy that permits only one and a half gallons of water to go down the pipes after each flush of the shitter. This means that you have two choices open to you if you use a toilet in Cambria: you can flush 20 times per session to get everything that comes out of your ass and off of the toilet paper roll to actually go down the drain OR you can have your feces flowing across the living room floor. Because I failed at the first option I was allowed to experience the second option when I stayed at a seaside motel in that resort town this week. Because there was no one on duty at the motel I was staying at I had to go to a Best Western down the road to get a plunger from the on-guard two managers there at midnight when I showed up. The night that I spent driving up and down the coastline and sloshing around through my own turds in the living room was deducted from my bill. The shit-free nights I still had to pay for. The reason this happened is because whenever a gray-haired lesbian and her woodsman lesbian lover stands in front of a city council full of pussywhipped husbands and demand that people conserve water on a planet that is 90 % water - the pussywhipped husbands say ok, we will do what you demand and pass a law requiring EVERYONE to obey the two ugly lesbian crones. You now have a complete history of the "ecology movement." It is in total opposition to the human bowel movement. We will all eventually be shitting in the streets like niggers. Because this is where this is all really heading: a return to the veldt.


At February 6, 2010 at 7:14 PM , Blogger Bob Frapples said...

I have had the experience of the less-than-enough-water-flush thing.
After a while, I started talking to the rogue turd, trying to get him motivated to get down the hole. I'm tellin' ya, man, it was quite frustrating...

At February 6, 2010 at 9:27 PM , Blogger jj solari said...

i never address my fecal matter directly. i talk ABOUT it: especially if it is in the living room. But i never give it orders or try to reason with it or anything. just sharing.


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